Best Thirty Minutes of My Week

I got out my camera yesterday and took a picture.  An actual picture. 

In my blogging break, it seems I took a break from more than just the computer.  What is wrong with me?

Anyway, I took this picture.

That's my sweet Olivia in front of her school.  We had just had lunch and she was SO happy.

I'll tell you why.  But, first ....

I happen to be the type of Mom that loves to get ideas from others.  I believe when we think we have it all figured out and have nothing to learn from each other, we're steeped in pride.  I don't pretend to have this mothering thing figured out, so one of my favorite things is to hear what works for other Moms.  I guess that's why I love blogging so much.

Anyway, there is a girl in my small group whom I ADORE.  She is so respectful and polite to me .... always thanking me for taking my time to teach her. (So refreshing!)  After my lesson last week, she couldn't wait to tell me it was her week to have lunch with her parents.  I didn't think much of it, assuming her parents were bringing her lunch that day.  Something I do with my own children.  But, in fact, what her parents were doing was picking her up and taking her out of school for lunch.  Her choice - as long as it was near the school.  The girl is one of four children in her family.  Her parents take one child out each week on their own and have lunch with just them. 

And I thought that was BRILLIANT!

I text her Mom as soon as I got in the car and said "I am SO stealing your idea about taking one child out to lunch every week! I think you're brilliant!!"

She sent me a text back telling me she has done is for two years now and she's learning that it's great time for her older ones to open up and not have to compete for attention.

I knew my girls would LOVE the idea!

I was right.  They started arguing over who would go first so Eric made them draw straws.  The shortest straw got to go first, so that made Olivia the winner.

I happen to teach small group on Tuesdays and end just when their lunch break is beginning.  So, I just signed Olivia out and watched her skip and giggle to the car.  It seriously was the sweetest time and took little effort.  Olivia said it made her feel special.  And, both girls are excited about not having to share the time with me with the other one.

Who knew 30 minutes would make such a difference?

I signed Olivia back into school and told her I would see her in 2 hours.  She loved that part :)

We've talked about a few ideas for this time and here's what we came up with ...

** The girls choose where they eat as long as it's on the street by our school (they only have 30 minutes).
** When Spring arrives, it will be fun to pack a lunch for them and eat at the nearby park.
** We can't wait to have Daddy join us on weeks he is in town.
** This is the time they can talk about anything and have our undivided attention - no cell phones, iPods, etc.

I think Emma became a little panicked when I told her I don't teach small group next week and it's her week to go.  We live on the other side of town, so I don't think she thought I would make the trip to take her out for lunch.

Are you kidding?

I am looking more forward to it than you, Emma! Can't wait! I wouldn't miss it for the world!

She won't scream as long as you never mention her past

Hmmmm .... where to begin?

I've been staring at the computer screen for an hour.  I feel like I want to post, but don't know what I want to post.  How about a feeble attempt to recap what's been going on around here.

** With the exception of posting that I would be absent on my blog for a week, I didn't open my computer for 2 weeks.  That hasn't happened in forever.  I just had no interest.  None.

**  I am taking a break from Facebook for the duration of my current Bible Study and I do not miss it.  Not even a little bit.

**  This morning, I glanced at our calendar for March and there are no trips written down for Eric.  I'm sure this won't be the case, but I loved the sight of it.  Traveling stinks.

**  Olivia played outside two weeks ago.  Like all day on a Saturday.  From that day on, I had a hard time getting her breathing regulated using breathing treatments, etc.  I took her to our family doctor (whom we love) and he adjusted her medication a little, though not a lot.  We talked about (like we do at every appointment) scheduling Olivia to see an allergist.  (Remember she was hospitalized last May?)  "We" decided to wait another month. 

HOWEVER, I woke up in the middle of the night that night and decided I would hop back in the driver's seat instead of being driven around by people that don't live with nor truly know my child.

I made an appointment with the allergist.

For many of you Moms, I won't have to describe how traumatic that appointment was. 

Turns out, we've been terribly wrong for too long.  Along with dogs, cats and grass (off the charts!!!), Olivia's tree nut allergy is alarming, dangerous and severe (words used by the allergist).  She can't even have cross-contamination.

I think I held it together pretty well for the next few hours (while getting Olivia WHATEVER she wanted after going through such trauma), but once I spoke with Eric on the phone, I lost it.

The enemy likes to throw out words like "how could you not have gotten her tested before now?", "what kind of Mom are you?" and "She could have died".  So, yes, fear and guilt threatened to swallow me up.

Neither won, though.  With both of my girls' help and Eric continually having to 'talk me down', we turned it into "God has protected us" , "God never leaves us" and "God has taught us a lot about Olivia".

So, for a Mom that was raising her children in restaurants and drive-thrus (in proper balance - don't judge!), my eyes have been opened.  And, it's challenging so far.  But, we'll get there.

**  Because of the severity of Olivia's allergies, I am more and more frustrated with everyone else's flippant attitude about awareness and conforming when it comes to my child.

There's really nothing else to say about that.

**  Emma starts soccer again this week.  I took her for an evaluation last week and it was so great to see her play again.  She took the fall season off, but decided to go back.  She really is a good player.  I've learned with Emma that the competitiveness of playing is great for her confidence (or lack thereof).  So, we're all looking forward to a good season.

Some funny things that have happened .....

**  Sitting outside of Olivia's piano lesson Thursday, I heard her teacher playing a new song.  She asked Olivia if she would like to learn to play it.

"No."

"Okay, how about this one?" (Her teacher plays another).

"No."

"Do you have any songs in mind, Olivia?"

"No.  I like all of these songs but I'm not going to learn to play any of them."

I wanted to go through the wall.  For the record, she's learning a new song this Thursday ;)

**  Emma had a friend over to spend the night.  We found out while she was here that she doesn't like to play with Barbies ... or any doll for that matter.  This is new ground for us since Emma loves them. 

At breakfast the next morning, I asked how they are working it out.  Emma said they are still playing Barbies, but J is compromising by killing them.

Olivia blurts out "Kill 'em all, J!! Then we'll never have to play with them again."

I really don't have to answer on whether or not we've gotten the filter working over her mouth, do I?

**  I was watching the girls play outside with the neighbors Saturday.  These days never end positive because someone always gets their feeling hurt.  I saw Olivia plop down in a chair on the deck and then start screaming (while crying) at both neighbors.  It turns out she didn't understand the rules of the game and they were making fun of her.  I went outside to intervene.

Later (as in 5 minutes later), Olivia was sitting on the sofa with me while eating a banana.  I said, "I'm sorry you got so upset Olivia.  I don't like to see you like that, but you know, you can't scream at other people to get what you want or to be heard.  There is a better way to communicate".

She looked at me and said, "Mom, I need to tell you something.  I don't really like to talk about my past".

As in her past that happened 5 minutes before.

Sigh.

We pressed on and discussed her past quite a bit, actually.

So, our days are full.  We're plugging along and learning new ways to do things. 

It's all good.

I'm Still Here

I have a lot to say .... just no time to say it. 

Actually, that's not true.  I do have the time.  I'm just choosing to use it doing other things.  When our days get crazy and when I'm feeling 'unsettled', my blog is the first thing to get put on the back burner.

I'll be back next week.

Abide: Made Perfect in Our Weaknesses

When my girls were toddlers, I would notice little things about them that would tell me what they were good at or what they enjoyed.

For instance, Emma has been singing hymns since she was 18 months old.  It's true.  She would sing Amazing Grace in her crib every morning before I would come into her room.  We have many videos of her walking in circles around the living room, singing one song after another until she just couldn't go anymore. 

The girl loves music.

Olivia is more athletic and artistic.  Her nickname at home is 'Tink'.  She loves to take things apart, see how they work and put them back together.  She rearranges my furniture often to create 'offices' or 'classrooms'.  And, that girl can draw.

What Mom doesn't look at their children, notice what makes them thrive and wonder what God will do with it all one day?

I wonder that all the time.

And, then there are the things they're not so good at.  The things that frustrate them, scare them or make them uncomfortable.  What will God do with that?

I'll tell you what He'll do .... He'll use that.  And, probably more than anything they are good at.

Our children's weaknesses can be frustrating as a parent.  We want more than anything to see them succeed in all things, yet there are just some things that will not come so easily.  They may even have weaknesses that we don't think they should have, so we push them to be different and to a point of frustration.

God spoke to me so clearly about the weaknesses in my children.

After a particularly hard parenting day, I took a hot bath to help my mood.  I was talking out loud to the Lord, asking forgiveness for losing my temper and pleading with Him to instill patience in me when I just can't understand why my daughter can't understand _________________.

I'll never forget, God so sweetly reminded me to look at that obstacle as a way He would show Himself mighty in my daughter's life .... both of their lives.  His strength is made perfect in weakness and the very things that we all struggle with are the very things He shows up BIG in and does a mighty work.

"My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness"

2 Corinthians 12:9

I thought about my own life.  Every area of my life that I believe God gets the most glory from are the areas I am the weakest when apart from Him.

For instance, I am (by nature) a very shy person.  Very shy.  My parents used to have to force me to talk to people and if they would have company over, I would hide under my bed.  Talking with people and especially meeting new people was almost paralyzing to me. 

And, don't get me started about talking in front of people.  I had a job at a credit union where I had to get up in front of crowds of people to 'sell' our services.  The first time I was to speak in front of a group, I looked in the room and saw 250 businessmen in suits.  I stepped out of the room, threw up and passed out cold.  When I came to, my boss was still waiting on me to do the presentation.

I thought I would die.

I didn't, though.  And today, I am able to teach women, talk to strangers and share my faith. 

God makes the difference. 

You see, I am still very weak in those areas.  I still want to throw up every single time I speak or meet someone, but God works in and through me and makes something beautiful out of the mess I would create on my own.

And, why wouldn't He? He's been doing it since the beginning.

Moses was a murderer ... yet He led God's people out of bondage.
David was an adulterer ... yet God said David was a man after His own heart.
Gideon was weak and afraid ... yet God called him a 'mighty man of valor'.
Paul persecuted Christians .... yet God made him a extreme evangelist for the Gospel.
Elijah was often discouraged .... yet God made him a prophet.
Peter denied Christ (more than once) ... yet He is the rock.

"But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise;

and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty"

1 Corinthians 1:27

If He did it then, He certainly does it now.  I see it in my own life all the time, so of course He'll do the same in my children. 

When God uses our weaknesses, His glory is unmistakable.  We are left saying, "Okay, now that had to be the Lord" because apart from His desire to work in our lives, we are nothing.

I want more of that!

And I want that for my girls.  I look at their weaknesses and whisper a prayer that God would use that for His glory ... not only to show the world it can be done, but to prove His sovereignty and greatness to two little girls that are always evaluating if what we're teaching them about God is true.

Can you think of any weaknesses in your own children? Can you think of any in yourself? Ask God to use those for His glory.  Then, sit back and watch Him do the unimaginable.

You Are For Me

I have mentioned a time or ten on this blog how much I love Kari Jobe's song You Are For Me.  It plays at least one time a day in my van and repeatedly on my iPod. 

I simply love it.

Psalm 56:9 was one of my memory verses last year and when I recited it in Houston for the SSMT Celebration, I came out of my seat, started shaking my finger in my friend's face and nearly started preaching - ha! It means so much to me ....

"When I cry unto the Lord, then shall my enemies turn back;

this I know, for God Is For Me"

See? That'll preach, right?

So, as much as I love hearing Kari Jobe sing that song, I was blessed beyond measure to hear my beautiful, precious Emma sing it during tonight's praise service at church.  Hands down, has to be my favorite song to hear Emma sing.



I love you, my sweet Emma.  You make me so proud ~ not only for your gentle spirit and compassionate heart, but because you use your beautiful voice for the Lord.  He loves you so.  And, He is FOR you!!

FYI:  The constant 'sniffling' you hear in this video is my Daddy.  He cried through the whole thing :)

Friday Stuff

You know what I think I'll do today?

I think I'll unpack my suitcase.

I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.  I went to Houston two weeks ago, came home, plopped my suitcase on my closet floor and never bothered with it again.  I never do that!

And the only reason I thought of it today was because I want to wear a shirt that's in that suitcase.

Which might explain why I haven't blogged about my trip either.  I know ... it's time.  I'm anxious to relive it all through a blog post, so I hope to get to it this weekend.

So, our week in a nutshell ....

I got to spend some time with my friend Cathy this week.  I always love any time I have with her, but she is in town under the saddest of circumstances.  Her brother passed away unexpectedly Monday.  Cathy's husband is still in Afghanistan which kills me that she's having to go through all this alone.  Would you pray for her and her family? They could sure use it!

Also, Olivia hasn't felt well this week.  Her allergies and asthma have been giving her a fit.  She's had breathing treatments all week and still not feeling great, though she did go back to school today.

I have to admit, I loved having her home yesterday.  She is so fun to be around! And, just look at that face and those missing teeth ....

So CUTE!

Emma has been sweet to bring her her makeup work from school.

I don't think Olivia looks at it like a 'sweet' gesture though :)

Speaking of Emma ..... when she isn't reading, you can usually find her in this position ....

She got an iTouch for Christmas and to say she loves it is a huge understatement.  Wanna know what she spends most of her time doing on her iTouch?

Reading my blog.  True story.  I'm even an 'app' now :)

I guess it's equivalent to reading a baby book for them.  They love it.

Speaking of 'apps' .... we have a slight dilemma in our house.  I have been waiting patiently for an iPhone.  My cell contract is up in 2 weeks.  Well, actually ten days now, but who's counting?

In an odd turn of events, Eric has now decided he would like an iPhone.

Stink.

That trumps everything because Eric is fortunate enough to have a birthday this month.

I can't compete with that. 

Plus, it comes down to necessity.  And, for some reason, my desire to use "Heytell" and play Boggle on demand isn't considered 'necessary'.

What - evah!

Stay tuned ....

Abide: A Warrior for My Children

I’m becoming more and more convinced that praying for my daughters is the single most important thing I can do for them as a mother.


To be honest, as I’m coming to that realization, I tend to feel like I’m getting a BIG FAT “F” in the mothering department.

Yes, I pray. Yes, I remember to pray every single day.

But, the reality is that I often feel like I’m not devoting the time necessary to lifting my daughters up to the Lord. Or, that my prayers aren’t specific enough to the needs they have individually.

And, don’t get me started on how often I get distracted when praying.

Maybe you can relate?

God has reminded me of the term ‘prayer warrior’. “Warrior” in the simplest of terms means a soldier prepared for battle, standing at attention and ready to engage in the fight. Certainly that definition applies to all areas of my life, but in terms of my little girls, I must go to battle for them daily in prayer.

Scripture says there is a battle going on constantly and deliberately for my girls’ lives. That thought alone puts the urgency in my prayer life and disgusts me over the ‘empty’ prayers I pray for my girls every day. It’s not going to be enough for me to pray for God to ‘protect them’ or ‘bless them’ throughout their day. This is warfare. So, I must accept it as such and get serious.

Emma and I had a conversation recently that changed the way I pray for both her and Olivia. We had had a very powerful service at church and Emma cried most of the way home. She couldn’t stop talking about the Lord and how wonderful He is to her and how she had never felt His Spirit so real like she had that night. Just listening to her touched my heart so much. As her Mother, I want so much for her to experience that as often as possible so she knows how real God is and never want to compromise walking with Him.

In the middle of our conversation she started thanking me for being a good Mom and for praying for her (I know, what every Mom wants to hear, right?). I assured her (and Olivia) that I pray for them every single day.

Emma wanted to know what and how I pray.

I told both of them that I pray about their day and anything specific they are facing that day (we pray together in the car on the way to school every morning). I also told them I choose a different ‘thing’ to pray for every week (a guide I found here).

They both loved this idea and what struck me the most was they want to know. They want to know what I’m praying for and when I’m praying it.

Perhaps the biggest lesson for me that night was how hopeful Emma looked asking me about praying for her. She wants my prayers. She needs my prayers!

So, I can’t drop the ball on this very important, probably most important, thing I can do for my children.

Thankfully, and by God’s grace, my prayer life for them looks different than it did a month ago. No need to feel defeated over what I’ve lacked in the past – I could start over NOW!

I got a journal for each girl and I record my prayers for them – just a list – nothing that will make me feel like I have to do ‘one more thing’. Yes, I still pray for God’s protection and blessing, for future husbands and those boys’ parents today to raise up godly men for my girls. But, I’m trying to talk to them more about what the need specifically. Their needs are so different given their ages. A ten year old’s world is considerably different than a six year old’s. They’re in different battles, so the warfare has to look a little different for each one.

I love how God is showing me those differences and I feel more like I’m engaging in this battle with the Lord at the forefront. Praying specifically for each need gives me wisdom in mothering them I wouldn’t otherwise have.

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God,

that gives to all men liberally …

and it shall be given to him”

James 1:5

There are times in God’s Word when He asks us to be still and watch Him fight for us. There are also times when He very deliberately implores us to engage in battle with Him. Praying for our children will always be a way we can engage in that battle. It’s our responsibility as mothers to fight for the children God has so graciously entrusted us with.

If we won’t, who will?

What about you? Are you up for the challenge?

100th Day of School

Technically, tomorrow is the 100th Day of School.  In first grade, that's a really big deal. 

I got the day mixed up (not a suprise) and thought it was today.  I don't know why I'm having a problem believing January has 31 days, but I can't seem to accept it. 

Anyway, I was doing Olivia's hair this morning and I said, "Happy 100th Day of School!"

She was annoyed and told me it's really the 99th day and that's no big deal.

Maybe the big deal is that I was early for a change instead of scrambling to get it together.  In fact, Olivia finished her 100th Day project on Sunday (A-Ha! Who says I'm not on time!)

She was very serious about doing the project herself.

She painted her cross pink ~ 

Which was a surprise to me since her favorite color is purple.  She told me while painting that she's come to believe a person could have too much purple.  Interesting.

She counted out 100 jewels by herself and started gluing them to her cross.

We love the way it turned out ....

"Hey Olivia, why don't you smile?" (She pulled her two front teeth Friday night and is PRE-CIOUS! ~ I could seriously listen to her talk all day)

This is what she did instead ...

You're welcome.  That's peanut butter crackers :)

I will get some pictures today. 

Until then, "Happy 99th Day of School!"

1,000 Gifts ~ #205 - #223

I'm counting gifts of grace I notice throughout the week ....

205.  Friends praying for me when I was freaking out about being sick and needing to pack for my trip.

206.  Meeting my roommates for the weekend (SSMT Celebration in Houston).  God graciously put me with these ladies that I only knew from Twitter.  We had the best time .... laughing hysterically and crying uncontrollably.  Loved every second.

207.  Seeing my parents and my girls at the airport when they came to pick me up.  I was SO glad to see them.

208.  Emma squeezing me so hard and not wanting to let go.  I love that they miss me when I'm gone.

209.  Feeling God's grace in abundance Monday when I had unexplainable strength.

210.  Friends helping me when my van broke down.  I never stressed for one second.

211.  A kick-off to Bible Study that will always be one of my favorites.  I felt so peaceful and I believe God moved.

212.  My Daddy cooking dinner on Tuesday when I was absolutely too tired to even think about it.

213.  Spending the morning napping.  Very uncharacteristic of me, but necessary.  Thankful to have the time.

214.  Encouraging emails.

215.  Lunch with a friend.  Laughing over silly things.

216.  God's provision.  Always enough.

217.  Friends helping decorate for a Women's Breakfast.  I never forget that not so long ago, I was the only one doing anything.  God has provided some special ladies to help share the work.

218.  Eric home.

219.  Women's breakfast.

220.  Witnessing 3 people accept Christ Sunday morning.

221.  My sweet Emma standing up to testify during our evening worship service.  She has cried a few times over missing her opportunity to do so in past services and feeling like she let God down.  She was obedient last night. 

222.  Hearing Olivia encourage Emma on the ride home saying she was proud of her for talking about Jesus.  Ahhhh ..... I could not love my girls more!

223.  Being able to relax on a Sunday night knowing Eric won't be going out of town this week.  P.E.A.C.E.

Five on Friday

1.  Perhaps the most important item on the agenda today is Eric coming home.  I haven't seen him since last Friday when he dropped me off at the airport for me to fly to Houston.  By the time I got home Sunday night, he had already left for his trip.  Stink.  We knew January would be a long month of travel, but praise God, we made it!!!!!

I must have said that a lot this morning because Olivia became annoyed with it.

I don't care - I'm excited anyway :)

2.  I recently ran out of Strawberry freezer jam.  It was a sad day.  So, at 10:00 one night, I decided to make some more.  We eat this on everything .... chocolate chess pie (LOVE), yogurt, ice cream, cinnamon bread, biscuits ...

Oh, but see that butter in the background?  Don't ever buy that.  Yuck. 

3.  See this picture right here?

This picture speaks L.O.V.E. 

We have a Women's Breakfast in the morning and I was suppose to iron the tablecloths.  That will never happen again since I have informed everyone I am not to be trusted with getting out stains, ironing and caring for tablecloths.  I stink at it.  Plus, these tablecloths are HARD to iron!

My Mom knows this, so she came over and ironed while I cooked supper, gave baths and packed lunches.  She ironed for 3 hours.  I'm SO thankful she did that! Especially since my solution was going to be to throw them all in the trash.

See? Can't be trusted with them.

4.  We started Believing God Monday night.  I want to get well, so I'm taking it very seriously.  I sat down and made a list of things I'm afraid of.  Two pages later, I'm amazed I'm not finished.  This is the first time I've listed my fears.  Seeing it all in print is making them all look more ridiculous to me, which seems like a step in the right direction.

5.  I just finished The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning (for the 2nd time).

I read the last half of this book on my way to Houston Friday.  I read the entire book again on the plane ride home.  I'm not sure if it was that good or if it was just timely for me.  Either way, I made a ton of notes and have looked them over every day this week.  I'll write more about it soon, but I'm curious as to whether any of you have read it (or any of his other books). 

Have a great weekend!!