The fact it was under lock and key made all the difference

I know, I know. I never intend on taking a blogging break. But, life just happens and before I realize it, ten days have passed and I've only posted one time. I'm coming out of retirement to share with you some very important news.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Even bigger ... apparently, I have a .... ag .... age spots.

I have trouble saying it. Really, I do. In fact, I was in denial for years about it until my friend, Cathy visited a few summers ago and we were sitting out by my parent's pool. We were having an in-depth conversation about the economic decline of our country.

Ah forget it, even I can't pull that off.

We were analyzing the various spots on our legs, arms and face that clearly weren't there when we were in junior high. I did something I never do - I called attention to two spots on the side of my right cheek.

You see, I feel like if I don't talk about them, they're not really there. Denial. It works for me.

Then .... Cathy said it. She said the words that echo in my mind a year and a half later. She said, "Those are age spots, Deidre".

What? How can that be? We're only 25. Wait, we're older than 25, aren't we?

Since that enlightening day in July, I have been on a mission for something .... anything .... to hide, disguise, remove my ahem .... freckles .... without professional help. For several reasons, really.

1) I don't have the money.

2) I don't have the pain-tolerance.

3) I don't have the money.

I knew through the skincare grapevine I needed a microdermabrasion system. (Because I need one more step to my nightly skincare regime - it's brutal, I tell you). But, I will try anything once (as far as skincare goes).

So far, I have invested in three different products and none of them have worked.

It is a problem.

Yesterday before I left for bible study, I read a few blogs and came across this one from Big Mama. She mentions several products, but the one that caught my eye was the Oil of Olay Microdermabrasion and Peel System. I hadn't tried this one. So, I scribbled the name of it on a piece of paper and stuck it in my purse. Maybe I would check it out sometime.

That 'sometime' came last night immediately after bible study.

We were out a few minutes earlier than usual, so I stopped by CVS. I went to buy sinus headache medicine, but thought I would just 'price' the Oil of Olay.

And, that's when I saw it.

It was displayed in a cabinet under lock and key. (I would have taken a picture for you, but there were signs posted everywhere telling me I was being watched by the survelliance camera.)

I cannot tell you what that did to my psyche. "Oh, this must be valuable! This must be the most awesomest, bestest stuff EVER! How could I go one.more.night. without this in-demand jewel? I have to have it .... now! (Which, by the way, completely blows out of the water the whole session we just watched in our Esther study on waiting. Clearly, God wasn't talking about microdermabrasion kits that promise to take away my age spots .... I mean, freckles. He would never want me to wait on such a thing.

I started to sweat. If it's under lock and key, it must be too expensive for me. (I subconciously think of some things I could sell.) Then, I see that it's only $24.95. Clearly, it was fate because I have paid much more for the other, useless products and they were still right there on the shelf out in the open. No, they didn't deserve a place in the beloved, locked cabinet.

I needed a salesperson.

A long line of men (Valentine's shoppers, I assume) were waiting to be checked out. Normally, I don't like to call attention to myself, but my adrenaline was pumping. I had to have that product. I went to the front of the line to tell the checkout girl (clerk? saleslady?) I needed assistance in cosmetics. She said, "Oh, you need in the Oil of Olay cabinet!" (Had she seen my age spots and was prescribing a solution? - I've lost it).

I wait patiently (see Lord, I listened) by the cabinet for assistance. What seemed like hours later, she comes with the keys. I said, "I can only imagine how great this is if it has to be locked up!" She laughs and says, "It must be really good stuff because just last week, a woman came in and stole $2,000 worth and ran out the emergency exit. We put in the locked cabinet the next day".

What? Are you kidding me? I need to check out! Check me out, now! I have to get home and put this on my face!

(See, Lord. I'm not nearly as desperate as that woman. I paid $24.95 for mine).

Another reason I love my husband so much is he gets it. He really gets it. He met me at my car and I immediately started telling him about stopping at CVS and seeing the Oil of Olay in the locked cabinet. He smiled and said, "Obviously, you had to have it. I'll pour you some tea and you can get started."

Ha! And, start it I did. We'll see what happens.

I will tell you that I had a very vivid dream last night that my face was on fire.

Not sure if the two are connected.