For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal

I've been having a lot of conversations with God over the past couple of weeks that have gone something like this .... "I'm suppose to be able to find all direction in your word, but why are you making it so difficult to find guidance for leading my children? Can't I have in plain sight how to handle E when she withdraws from me? What am I suppose to do about _______? How do I handle _______? You're not making this very easy!"

At a stressful point yesterday, I realized I wasn't having conversations with Him at all. A conversation is an exchange of dialogue. A two-way communication. I've been doing all the talking and becoming frustrated when I come up empty. More stressed out than when I first acknowledged any problem at all. I haven't been listening ... sitting still and listening to what God is trying to tell me. See, He isn't pushy. He's constant and patient. Yet, He's also purposeful and the more I acknowledge my weakness and insecurities in mothering my children, He gives me glimpses of answers ... waiting on me to stop and surrender to Him completely.

I'm reminded more and more each day my children are a product of me. We make silly comments about it all the time. Things like, "she gets that from you" or "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree", etc. Both are true, but their attitudes are a direct result of mine as well. I'll admit they are seeing me in the Word more than they ever have because all I want to do is study. The only problem is, I'm failing at applying what I'm learning to my life. I close my bible and snap at them no doubt leaving them confused. Shouldn't they see me finding strength in what I've read?

It's no mistake, I wrote this verse last week on the plate in our kitchen.


I thought it would be a great 'teaching verse' to my children and I've been so arrogant as to explain it to them in detail. I've walked past that plate hundreds of times since then and felt conviction every time. I've heard the Lord softly say, "Deidre, would you do that for me?" I shook it off and made a mental note to never write anything on that plate about taming the tongue - ha!

Yesterday was particularly hard because I lost my patience with E. Eric and I both went to bed last night feeling defeated and wondering how on earth we were going to make anything right. It's so frustrating when you love someone so much, but feel as if you have no idea what to do. Before I fell asleep, I prayed and asked God to show me what to do. "Lord, I'm studying your word, I'm talking with you daily. Have I learned anything that will equip me to lead my children in Truth? Where am I failing?"

I woke early and while everyone was sleeping I quietly made my way to my spot in the living room to read God's word. I needed a pen, so I went to the kitchen and passed the plate with Colossians 3:12. (I made a mental note to throw the plate out after breakfast - conviction makes you want to do crazy things, am I right?)

As I sat with my Bible, I asked God to open my eyes this morning. I prayed and then waited almost desperately on an answer. I kept thinking of my memory verses and thought surely I wasn't to sit there and recite them to myself. That's not what this time is for. But, I felt strongly God was wanting me to. So, I started. When I got to my 2nd verse, I stopped .... pondering on what it truly meant.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,

but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.

Casting down imaginations and every high thing

that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God,

and bringing into captivity every thought

to the obedience of Christ."

(2 Cor 10:4-5)

I say this verse to myself so many times throughout the day - more often than any other verse I know. But, I recall it mainly because of verse 5 asking God to push out any lies I'm entertaining to believe and instead replace it with His word.

This morning, I thought a lot about verse 4: "The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but are mighty through God to the pulling down on strongholds".

Warfare.

Surrendering my family to the Lord does endure a certain amount of warfare. Okay, A LOT of warfare. Surely that's what we're in most of the time. The enemy wants nothing more to attack my family unit even creeping in through myself and my children.

"For of this sort are they which creep into houses,

and lead captive silly women laden with sins,

(2 Timothy 3:6)

If the weapons of this warfare aren't carnal, it means there's nothing I can come up with myself. I don't have anything in me that's strong enough to fight. My flesh is too weak and will fail me and my family every single time. But, what weapons of God will help me fight for my family and our attitudes?

Then, God spoke loudly to me and His answer came flooding and if He was saying, "My weapons are compassion, Humility, patience, kindness and tenderness, the HOLY SPIRIT dwelling in you , a holy attitude, a submissive spirit, a yielding to my ways .... a complete surrender to me!"

He spoke to me about our relationship and reminded me that my relationship with Him is suppose to be changing me .... so I will look, talk and walk more like Him. Our relationship is suppose to draw my children to Him. I can have all the head knowledge I want, but my children will never be impressed with any of it and even be turned off by it if they can't see the fruits and see that it's real.

So the plate stays and Colossians 3:12 will stay written on it a little longer than any other verse. I'm certain it will take me longer to grasp it than my children. But, I'm thankful for the hope Christ has given me this morning. Hope that He will fight any battle for me and with me .... and I will be victorious when I surrender to Him.