He Keeps Me

(This post was written yesterday, but in my exhaustion, I forgot to click 'publish post'.)

I was lying in bed at 5:30 this morning and realized quickly I was already in a foul mood. We'd had a really busy weekend and heading into a busy week and I hadn't been awake 60 seconds before I was bitter. Resentful. Mad, even.

I was beginning to feel anxious about all I had to do today and Eric was zipping his suitcase for a short trip out of state. Among many other obligations, the girls had soccer games at the same time I had bible study. With Eric out of town, I would have to rely on my in-laws and I was already stressed.

I decided right away to pray before my feet touched the floor. I prayed the Holy Spirit would fill every part of me and change my attitude ... and quickly. I spoke Scripture and asked God to take away any anxiety I had, knowing full-well who it was coming from. The enemy is crafty, is he not?

Eric came over to the bed and right away knew I was already struggling. He covered me and prayed over me as well and afterward, I felt encouraged. I was ready to get up.

In the shower, I noticed something peculiar on my left side. What is that? Has it always been there? Should I be concerned?

Almost immediately, I said OUT LOUD "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind".

Fear. What are you trying to do to me today? It wasn't even 6:00 am yet.

I started getting dressed and was reminded of 'the strange place' again. I felt again and shrugged it off ... this time talking out loud to the Lord, "God will perfect all that concerns me".

No fear.

After finishing my hair and make up, I was surprised to think of it again and this time called Eric into the bathroom with me. I calmly explained what I felt and he looked too. He said, "There is something there, but I'm not sure what to make of it."

Fear. Overwhelming fear. And, now tears.

I told Eric I felt like I was in the middle of an all-out spiritual attack this morning and satan is trying to relentlessly tempt me. Distract me.

For the record, I'm not one to talk about the enemy. I just don't like it. I'm too much of a wreck in the first place without forcing myself to think of what evil is meant towards me every hour. It just isn't common for me to acknowledge him in my life and how he works. I believe too much credit is given to him and he doesn't need that much of my vocabulary.

However, he is real and there have been a few times in my life that I shutter to remember when I realized how much attack was meant to harm me and to stop me.

Of course, I know the end of the story (and he does, too) and it includes him being defeated each and every time by the King of Kings. My sweet Savior is careful and purposeful in fighting for me in every battle waged against me.

So, today when I often had thoughts of quitting the whole day, staying under the covers and finding a replacement for bible study, I instead prayed 2 Corinthians 10:4:5 all day long "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ". I asked Jesus continually to help me to walk with Him each moment of the day without fail because the enemy was no doubt seeking to destroy me with any hint of distraction.

God is faithful!

As a result, and to God be the glory, I am crawling into bed completely worn out but thankful God saw fit to carry me through my day. My girls are tucked safely into bed after having a great time with their grandparents. I just came from bible study where we were able to open God's Word and talk about our victorious Lord who defeats the enemy every.single.day on our behalf (praise you, Father!). And, I am going to sleep now without any fear - knowing I am fine. You know why? My Savior is staying up and he'll keep me while I rest.