I would be lying if I said I hadn't questioned God over the past few days. I know I'll never understand His ways and what He chooses to do isn't at all what I would do. Then, I remember He has even included that in His Word for when I would question His will and His motive.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
The truth is I've had a hard time praying. And, right now I NEED to be praying. I NEED to be praying for so many friends around me who are hurting. I NEED to be praying for my little girl who is STILL having so much stomach pain and discomfort she is out of school again today. Last night as I rocked her and the house was quiet I thought, "Okay, Lord. Let's talk." But, I just couldn't do it. Immediately, I thought about Romans 8:26...
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.
For we do not know what we should pray
for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself
makes intercession for us with groanings
which cannot be uttered.
...and I knew He understood. All I could say was I loved Him and I was trying my best to trust Him.
I went running this morning. I was tired and ill and aggravated. I ran longer than I ever have, but it was hard. I thought I would run in silence but decided that wouldn't work. No silence. I don't want to pray.
So, I listened to this song. About 30 times.
I'm trying to get there. I'm trying to believe. I wish my friend was here so I could ask her if it's all real and as soon as I think the thought, I know the answer. She is in the very place she lived her entire life for. I agree with you, Lisa. I believe she would tell me YES!!
God is still God. He is still on His throne. So, today I am thankful for His grace, His mercy and His comfort through His word.
8 comments:
Oh, Deidre - words cannot even begin to express how sorry I am. I am praying for you, sweet friend.....
Yes... We still believe... even when the worst of times come & our hearts set out to question the WHY'S... sometimes thats ALL you can do it still believe!
Oh. Deidre!
I'm praying for you today!
This is so hard but you know what?!?? You know HIS word and that is an amazing thing. Even in your hurt you were able to hear him because you know the scriptures.
You are an example for us all. Thanks for that!
I love you and I'm praying for you all today!
There were many times during a very difficult time in my life when I didn't know what to pray and honestly had no interest in praying. How comforting to know the Spirit was interceding for me!
I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying the Lord will heal your broken heart and give you peace.
I read your post on the LPM blog and had to come over to let you know I am so sad for you.
I am praying for you Deidre.
Deidre, Oh how my heart hurts for you and all who lost your precious friend. I will be interceding for you as the Lord brings you to mind. I saw your post on the Living Proof blog and just ached to give you a hug and sit with you as you grieve. Oh how we need the Word to comfort! I would love to meet you in January if the Lord leads you to go and sit and worship Him together. Love and grace to you, Yvonne
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine.
I would love to be your roommate if you decide to go. I can't imagine what you must be going thru. You gave one my closest frinds, Jennifer, a ticket to LPL about a year or so ago. She had told me about your blog and when I saw your comment I wanted to let you know that I would love to have a roommate.
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