Day 6: Letters, Notes and Pictures

I'm walking through this trial asking God to help me see His purpose. I may have trouble opening up my Bible or praying this week, but deep down I know God understands.

I believe Wednesday was one of the most difficult days I've ever experienced. I cannot think of another time in my life that I have felt so overwhelmingly sad. As I 'halfway' listened to my Pastor talk about Pam and the wonderful life she led, I couldn't raise my head. I kept looking down focusing on the circles in the fabric of my Mom's purse. At times, I thought I may stop breathing from crying.

What is odd is I just taught a Sunday School lesson two weeks ago and gave an illustration of when you're close to a trial or situation, it's so hard to see the bigger picture. I took a picture and held in front of a girl's nose and asked her what the picture was. She, ofcourse, couldn't tell me. It was too close. But, when I pulled it away and she could focus in on it, she could see the picture and describe it.

I have thought of that illustration several times this week. Right now, I'm too close to the trial and I cannot for the life of me see the bigger picture. I have no idea what God has in store and I know until I'm further away from it I won't be able to put it into focus. I'm not sure I'll ever understand, but I know right now I'm too close to the hurt.

God has been so sweet to remind me of letters, notes, scribbles on paper and pictures Pam left me. She was always encouraging me through cards and letters and scripture. Just this past May, as I stood to teach five different lessons at our youth girls retreat (a retreat Pam insisted I do!), I would have an envelope waiting on the podium for me. Each one included a letter from Eric and a letter from her .... telling me how proud she was of me and always ... ALWAYS scripture to encourage me.

I saw those letters Monday night and knew I would treasure them forever. Then, I found this post on her blog I had no idea she had ever written.

I have this picture hanging in my kitchen.

It reminds me of one of the sweetest birthday gifts I've ever received (click link to read) and it reminds me to focus on Jesus.

What I'm learning already through this is how important the written word is. We are a society of text messages and quick emails, but to have a sticky-note of scribbled words from my friend will be forever cherished. I'm thankful she was faithful to do that for me. May I do the same for someone else.