Please, no more turkey

How is it we get so psyched up for turkey, eat and eat and eat and then are repulsed by the thought of more? Gluttony. Yep, that's it.

I had such big plans to consume mass quantities of food at my parents' house on Thursday ... my Dad's turkey, my Mom's dressing, my sister-in-law's dip and the most beloved potato salad you've ever put in your mouth. My Mom even left out the onions which made it the most perfect day ever. I loaded my plate (even had to put another under it for reinforcement) and sat down to indulge. After a few minutes of shoveling, something strange happened and I had to push away. I know. It was sad. No worries, though. I went back for more several times over the hours that followed.

We had a great day. We played the best games of banagrams and then, against my better judgment, I agreed to a game of Monopoly. It was a temporary lack of judgment since I hadn't played with my family in over 13 years - the year before Eric and I married to be exact. The wedding almost didn't take place and it has taken me this long to agree to another game. As fate would have it, I will NOT be playing another game for 13 more years ..... atleast. It's just too brutal.

Fortunately, Eric and I were on speaking terms again on Friday morning so we loaded up the girls to head to the mountains to be with his parents. Remember last time I got sick on the way up the mountain, so this time I wore sea-bands and hoped for the best. We did go a different route, but I was happy to arrive at his parents' and still be able to stand. I'm not sure when I started having problems with motion sickness. (I'm blaming it on our Vacation Bible School celebration 4 years ago when I rode the twirling saucer 8 times and later felt like I may fall out of bed). Anyway, I have problems with it now.

Aging. Sigh.

Eric's Mom had turkey, ham and all the trimmings and Eric baked the most delicious apple-caramel cheesecake I had ever tasted. So, there I went again. Gluttony.

Eric just told me we have leftovers in the fridge for tonight and I suddenly decided on a fast. Or, a detox. I need a detox.

So, now we're back home .... doing laundry, cleaning house, decorating for Christmas and loving the beautiful day of sunshine. The girls are outside playing and I'm trying to pretend I don't see them playing in water.

After I told them not to.

Three times.

I just don't have the energy to deal with it right now. Playing in water at the end of November when the temperature is 59 will not hurt a thing. Right?

Day 26: Thanksgiving Day!

I have loved writing these posts each day. In doing so, I have had to force myself to look for the good. This isn't normally difficult for me, but I have had some days in November that have made it tough to say the least.

I love listening to people list what they are thankful for. Almost always, a person will mention how tough things have been, but God ..... well, BUT GOD. There really is no way to explain how God can take a dark, trying time and make something beautiful out of it. But, He does.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present

time are not worthy to be compared with

the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18

I am thankful for so many things today ...


** My family. God has really shown off giving me the family he has. I have parents who love me, a wonderful extended family, a husband I don't deserve and two beautiful daughters!

** My church - hands down the best one. The Spirit of the Lord is there and walking in the doors is so peaceful. My pastors preach weekly on the WORD and stand firm on it's Truth. I am so blessed to be a part of such a precious church family.

** My home. No place like it. It isn't a mansion, but it is beautiful and comfortable and filled with love.

** My Sunday School class. I love the girls in my class so much. I am jealous for them to know what a wonderful Savior we have. I am so proud of them!

** My youth group. I am honored to be able to work with the best group of kids ever put together. We all have our problems and go through some tough things, but God is glorified in their lives and I love to watch that.

** YOU! This blog community is so difficult to explain to people. I cannot thank you enough for all the sweet comments, emails and text messages from so many of you I have never met in real life. The body of Christ is amazing and He has used you in my life to extend encouragement and answered prayers! Thank you for caring about my family and reading my silly stories.

** Sanctification. God is changing me to be more like Him and at times, that process is painful. I am thankful for the process and the sweet fellowship with Him that comes out of it. He loves me so much.

** My job and Eric's job. God provides for our family in an extravagant way. I believe He has given me a job during this season of my life knowing I would need a reason to get out of bed. And, Eric's job has been a huge blessing to us and most of all he is enjoying going to work each day. I love seeing him happy.

** My friends. I do not take any of you for granted. God has knit together such different people in my life and I am thankful for each one.

** Bible Study. I am thankful for Monday nights and the joy of studying God's Word with so many other God-chasing women.

** My health.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
Serve the LORD with gladness:

come before his presence with singing.
Know ye that the LORD he is God:

it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves;

we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
Enter into his gates with thanksgiving,

and into his courts with praise:

be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting;

and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100

Day 25: The Simple Things

Today I am thankful for the simplest of things ....

** a day at home with my family with absolutely no obligations or plans to leave the house.

** but, praise God Eric felt it necessary to leave the house briefly this morning to get me a chicken biscuit and large sweet tea from Chick-fil-A. yum!

** listening to E and O play together and say the funniest things.

** finding Hershey (E's guinea pig) perched on a pillow on E's bedroom floor appearing to listen to her read a book. (so sweet!)

** moments later finding Hershey with Barbie shoes on (yes, you read that right - Sharpay's, I think) and O playing the guitar for him while she sings a very odd version of Away in the Manger. It went something like this ... "Away in a manger, no crib for a bed. The little lord, Hershey has a black head." (very creative, I think).

** cleaning the house and not minding it one bit because we are all home. Did I mention we have nowhere we have to be today???

Day 24: Memories

It's not the prettiest journal I've ever seen, but what's inside makes it the most special.....

A few years ago, I was walking out the door to head to my parent's house for Thanksgiving dinner. I love journaling and try to convince everyone I know to keep one (right, girls?). So, I had this bright idea that my family should journal what they are thankful for each year.

My entire family (including the children!).

So, I grabbed the only journal I had that wasn't written in and took it to my parent's. I imagined the pages filled each year with entries from every person present at dinner and that's exactly what is happening.

This will be our fifth year passing it around and individually writing a list or a few pages of what we're thankful for. I love it that most entries tell a story of what that person faced that particular year. I love it that O scribbled on pages for her first Thanksgiving. I love it that E wrote two years ago she was thankful for God saving her. I love it that there are entries giving thanks for potato salad and my Mom's dressing.

This has become a sweet tradition! I will treasure it always.

It's not too late ..... start one at your family gathering this year. Have more than family at your home for Thanksgiving? Great! I love that you never know who will be at my parent's house for dinner and ALL guests sign the book! It's a record of who was there and how thankful we all are for friends!

Day 23: Too many to list ...

Today I am just plain thankful. Seriously, I am so full and so grateful I'm just giddy. How about a list ...

** Eric is IN TOWN today and will be with us tonight. Praise you, Lord!

** We only have two days of school/work this week.

** I get to spend time at bible study tonight!

** O is 'helping' E with her homework and laughing like crazy - love that sound! She just said E is the 'best sister in all the world!' - that could change any second, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts :)

** O chose 'self-control' as her fruit of the Spirit to work on today and she is doing a great job :)

I love Thanksgiving!!

Day 22: Full of God

I GET to teach Sunday School again this morning. Honestly, I cannot wait to get to church and talk about the Lord and His goodness.

I'm teaching on Psalm 23:5 .. "Thou hast prepared a table for me in the presence of mine enemies..."

I am teaching about Peter and how he must have felt when he boasts about never denying the Lord and yet he did just as Jesus said he would ... he denied him three times.

From so much guilt and shame, we soon find Peter in John 21 .... fishing. Fishing? Isn't that what he left behind years before to follow the Lord?

In our brokenness, we sometimes turn to the things we initially left when Jesus found us thinking we're not worthy to continue serving the Lord. That's where satan would love to keep us .... putting an enormous stronghold in our lives so that we feel unworthy, used up and shameful. The enemy would love to take our circumstances and convince us it's just too grim, too sad or too hopeless and we would be better off going back to our old lives. (Rev 12:10).

What Peter found instead was Jesus on the beach preparing a meal ... extending love to those who are hurting.

I love that! I am so thankful for a Savior that will wait patiently for me, speak truth over me, forgive me, pick me back up and remind me there is work to be done.

Praise His Name!!!! I will never get over the love of Christ!

But I have all, and abound: I am full

Philippians 4:18a

Day 21: Fun and a 5K

Last night when Eric got home, we were able to do some of the things the girls had planned.

We roasted marshmallows and made laser sticks.

E prompted us to snuggle by the fire under blankets and share what each one of us is thankful for. Sweet, sweet time.

THEN, this morning we woke bright and early to ........

Run in our very first 5K!!!!

I cannot even believe I am typing those words, but it's true! I have to tell you I've been proud of myself all day. This is such a huge accomplishment for me. I have always loathed exercise. When I turned 38 years old, I wanted to do something to feel better ... to quit feeling so tired all the time and have some energy to play with my girls. Not to mention the hormones! I wanted to do something to help my moods (Amen!).

I still didn't start trying to run until 8 months later. I had some problems in the beginning, but have surprised myself by loving it. I am feeling better and running does do wonders for your moods :)

So Eric, my friend, Rita and I decided to sign up to run in this race today. It was a lot of fun - okay, maybe not halfway into it - I wasn't thinking 'fun', but at the finish line I felt great!

I'm glad it ended well ...... because I have to tell you I was nervous at first.

This is Rita BEFORE we even started stretching. She freaked out when we told her it was timed. I'm not sure why she wasn't aware of that. So, she went ahead and demonstrated what she would look like at the end. ha!

She didn't though. She finished strong.

Can't wait til the next one!

One Reason I Can Still Praise Him

I'm working on a post that will answer a question I received via email this week. I have had to give the answer some thought. I'll get to it ... but, this song is one of my favorites and one I play A LOT. The words remind me situations can come into my life that are difficult, but the bottom line is Jesus is on my side.

Day 20: The Weekend

I have been SO ready for the weekend to get here. Eric has been on another trip this week (two weeks in a row!) and we cannot wait for him to get home today.

The girls have BIG plans for him tonight including staying up late, playing games, roasting marshmallows, watching a movie, baking a cake, drawing pictures, playing outside, etc., etc. (Do you think they are ready to see their Daddy?)

Ofcourse they won't have time to do it all, but I know we'll all be thankful to have him HERE!!

Day 19: Salvation

I know I've written a lot about her lately, but God is continuing to use E to point me to Him. I still have hard days, but everywhere I turn, God is putting a message of joy in my path. I'm learning that in the midst of sadness, a person who is IN Christ can have unspeakable joy. It doesn't make sense, yet it's oh so real.

I found this in E's book bag tonight.

When I asked her what it was, she told me she has been using her free time at school to make these posters to handout to friends.

Each one handwritten. Each one telling the worship opportunities at our church.

I asked her why she was spending so much time making these. She said, "People have to know about Jesus, Mama. Time is running out and I want all the people I know to go to heaven".

She's right, you know?

Do you have that joy inside of you that only Jesus Christ can give? You see, there must be a time in your life you have asked Him to come into your heart and forgive you of your sins. There must be a time you have committed your life to Him. He is coming back soon and the time is now for you to receive that indescribable joy.

Do you know Him? Tell me about when you received Christ! Even if I know you personally, leave a brief testimony in the comments ... Let's thank Him today for salvation!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son,that whosever believeth in him will not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16

E's Birthday EXTRAVAGANZA

The birthday celebration has lasted for five days.

FIVE DAYS!

Whew! I am seriously worn out tonight, so instead of posting a long story about the celebration, I'm going to let the pictures do most of the talking.

You're welcome.

Saturday, we spent the day getting pedicures. Well, when I say 'we', what I really mean is 5 girls 10 and under received either a manicure or pedicure while I sat in a chair wishing it were me.


The girls had a blast and the only drama of the morning was me pleading with E to abandon her decision to go with BRIGHT TURQUOISE polish on her fingernails. I know such things may be hip with all 8 year olds, but ... well, I'm not 8. She finally saw the light and had her toes painted a lovely shade of pinkish, redish orange. (Yes, that's a color).



We left there and went to eat at Ci-Ci's pizza. Many factors played into this decision, but the main one was ... we could be in and out in 30 minutes or less. Brilliant, Deidre, just brilliant.

Our next stop was completely unplanned. COMPLETELY.

You see, I have been trying to convince E to get a pet. She really wanted one, too. I have made 3 trips to the pet store with both my girls and told them whatever they could pick up we would take home.

We've always left empty-handed. They could never bring themselves to hold anything. They are girly-girls, I'm telling you!

But, with my niece L with us, I knew we would have a chance this time. L is a serious animal lover.

I casually mentioned getting a pet and then let L take over from there.

In MINUTES, we were in the car carrying our new guinea pig.

Meet Hershey.

The girls are using a towel to hold him in these pictures to get used to him. They don't use a towel now :)

Eric and I cannot get over how much E loves her new pet. She does hold it and talk to it and love on it. Precious.

Speaking of Eric, I am so thankful I was able to post such sweet words about our anniversary on Monday because I feared he may dissolve our marriage over the beloved Hershey. (He had no idea we were coming home with a pet!)

All is well.

We made it home in time for a small family party where we ate lots of smores. Yum!

O with my Daddy

We gave E her gift and she couldn't wait to dress like her doll for church the next day ...


I still don't have a matching dress, but I did get to sleep with the doll Monday night. Eric was out of town and E slept with me. I rolled over in the middle of the night to see this doll lying beside me. That can be scary, you know.

This morning, I was able to go to E's class during snack time to watch/listen to her classmates give her a blessing. Each child walked up to E individually and looked her in the eyes and spoke a blessing to her ... for instance: "Happy Birthday, E. I bless you with joy and friendship", or "Happy Birthday, E. You are such a great friend, I bless you with happiness".

Sweet mercy, I was about to have me a spell. Then, her sweet teachers knelt down, grabbed her by the shoulders, looked her in the eye and spoke the sweetest words over her about how God is going to use her sweet life for His glory. Is that not the most precious thing?

I loved it.

Happy Birthday, E!!!!!! No more carseats!!!!! Yay!!!!!!

Day 18: My Sweet Birthday Girl

Today is E's 8th Birthday!

I'll write more later, but wanted to make sure I tell how thankful I am for this sweet, sweet girl. I had to tell her the story again this morning of when she was born. She LOVES hearing that story and I love telling it. E made me a Mommy and I was forever changed.

I love you, E! Happy Birthday!

Day 17: Scripture

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed;

we are perplexed, but not in despair;
Persecuted, but not forsaken;

cast down, but not destroyed;

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

It seems like everywhere I turn these days, people are hurting. There are desperate cries to the Lord for deliverance, comfort, healing and intervention. I have never experienced so much spiritual warfare around me in my life.

But, God is faithful and He promises in the verse above that no matter how tough this life gets, He never leaves us and always protects us.

I am thankful for that promise today!

Day 16: Anniversary

Today, I have been married to my sweet husband for 13 years!

(Our first date!)

You can read about how God brought the two of us together by clicking here.

I am thankful today that God thought enough of me to give me an amazing husband - one who walks with me through good times and bad and made a committment from the beginning to fight for me. I am so blessed!

Happy Anniversary, Eric! I love you so much!

Day 15: Jesus STANDS

"But he, being full of the Holy Ghost,

looked up stedfastly into heaven,

and saw the glory of God, and Jesus

STANDING on the right hand of God,
And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened,

and the Son of man STANDING

on the right hand of God"

Acts 7:55-56

I get to teach Sunday School this morning.

That, in itself, is a miracle of God. Two weeks ago, I thought I would never be able to again .... actually, a few days ago I thought I would never be able to again.

But, so many people have prayed for me (thank you!), God is lavishing His amazing grace on me and I am starting to see brighter days! I still hurt and still question things, but I am not devastated ... thank you, Lord.

I started working on a lesson a month ago on the passage above. I've studied about Stephen before and the one day we get a glimpse into his life. I love the verses above talking about the Savior standing to his feet as his child is being stoned to death.

Among others, Hebrews 1:3, Hebrews 12:2 and Matthew 26:64 tells us Jesus sits at the right hand of the throne of God. Yet, as one of his precious children are hurting, He stands at attention and watches ... ready to receive or intercede on our behalf.

Can you picture it?

I believe Jesus has been on his feet for me the past few weeks.

I believe Jesus was on his feet as my precious friend suffered and then, peacefully stepped into His presence.

What a Savior!

I'm thankful today I get to teach about His marvelous love, power and grace! What a privilege!

I know it will be difficult, but I am so thankful I am able to read His word and remember how much I love it .... I can never keep that to myself ... I have to share it with a group of girls and remind them He is worthy of serving no matter the circumstances!

Day 14: Celebrate!

It's birthday time!

E turns 8 years old on Wednesday, but we're going to start celebrating today!

I had fun decorating while she was at school yesterday. She wasn't expecting it, so just another surprise to make her smile.

We will start the day with pedicures for E, a friend from school and her cousins. We'll end the day with a family party complete with a bonfire, roasted marshmallows, hotdogs and smores. Yum!

Today I'm thankful for a happy day of cake and family in the midst of a string of tough days. God is faithful!

No More Tears!

As I was driving the girls to school this morning, E asked me, "What scripture are you going to read this morning, Mama?"

I felt a little guilty. It's been so hard for me to focus on any Scripture the past few weeks other than what I can recall from memory. I said, "I'm not sure."

She said, "My favorite chapter in the bible is Revelation 21. Read that."

I told her I would and then forgot about it by the time we reached the school. As she and O were getting out of the van, she stuck her head back in and said, "Don't forget Revelation 21! Make sure you read verses 4 and 5 cause I LOVE 4 and 5".

"Okay, I will".


I drove straight to the track so I could run and decided to look up those verses first. How is it God thinks so much of me, He will continue to comfort me by using my brilliant 7 year old daughter?

Revelation 21: 4-5 ....

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes;

and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow,

or crying, neither shall there be any more pain:

for the former things are passed away.
And he that sat upon the throne said,

Behold, I make all things new."

I love her so much! And, I love my Savior and His promises!

Day 13: We'll all be under one roof!

Woohoo!!!

Daddy comes home today!

Eric has been on a LONG trip this week to Vermont, New Hampshire and Houston, Texas - whew! The girls (and I) have missed him terribly. I have had to work like crazy to not appear stressed or sad he is gone. Both girls cried a lot of tears Sunday night and I knew I needed to pull myself together for their sakes.

We are SO thankful for Eric's job. He works with uplifting, Christian people and best of all, he LOVES what he is doing. It's just that right now, it's tough to be apart from one another.

We can't wait to see you tonight, Eric. We love you and are thankful for how hard you work to provide for our family.

Day 12: God's Mercy

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed,

because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

I cannot tell you how many times I have said this verse to myself over the past month! There have been nights I have crawled into bed and all I could do was say this verse over and over and hope God would see fit to extend that mercy to me. I've gone through all kinds of crazy emotions, but the one that has irritated me the most is the feeling God is displeased with how I am handling the things that have been thrown at me.

I want so much to be a good example, to trust Him in all things and 'say' I am without fear and despair. But, that isn't the truth. I have been irritable, weepy and very afraid of what is next.

I am, with the Lord's help, fighting to break free knowing full well if I allow myself to stay in a pit, I will develop some serious strongholds in my life. I do NOT want to stay there.

So, day by day I am feeling His mercy and grace and He's picking me back up. I don't like the way things are. I don't like the fact that I have this giant hole in my heart. But, God is still good and still faithful to pick me up.

Because of his great mercy, I am not consumed!

Day 11: A Day Off!

Today I am thankful for a day off .... a day off from work and a day off from school. Just so I don't appear completely shallow, I am also thankful for the reason we are off which is Veteran's Day.

But, in the midst of this craziness we have found ourselves in lately, I'm thankful my girls can just enjoy the day playing. I'm heading out the door now to drop E off at a friend's house. Her backpack is filled with CDs, Nintendo DS games and baby dolls (how much fun does that sound like?) and I'm thankful she can laugh today :)

I'll pick her up this afternoon and then, my brother will pick both she and O up to spend the late afternoon with their three cousins ... all girls!

Fun, fun, fun!

Day 10: Birthday Surprises

My firstborn is turning 8 in a week.

Wow. Unreal.

Right now, I am enjoying shopping for her gifts. It's fun to choose things I know she is going to love. Some big things and some little things.

That's my happy place right now. I'm thankful for the diversion.

I couldn't help but smile when this arrived on our doorstep.

Not because I know E is going to love her. Not because the surprise alone will be huge since she thinks there is no way we are getting her this.

But, because I secretly love to play with dolls.

Except now it isn't a secret, is it?

I get her out of the box every night 'to play', then stick her back under my bed before E sees me.

Can't wait til we can all play together. I just wish I could have a matching dress as well. I'm going to feel left out when E is dressing like her doll :(

Day 9: God's Grace

All week I have said things like, "I don't know how I'm going to do _______." I have certain obligations I knew wouldn't go away and having to do most of them has frightened me. I keep saying, "I know God isn't giving me the grace today that I will need on Monday". Scripture says 'His grace is sufficient' which means it's enough .... exactly what I will need to get through any particular day or moment.

I am so thankful for that grace today. Grace that Christ so freely gives to me when I am having trouble getting out of bed. Grace that helps me laugh at my girls when I feel so sad. Grace that sustains me, but also allows me to look ahead and feel hopeful. Grace that, during a time when I haven't wanted to read my bible, stirs my heart when I hear Scripture and know deep down in my heart I still love it more than anything.

But, more importantly, it's the same grace that sweeps in and saves Pam's family members and friends during morning worship service yesterday. What joy! She would be so very pleased.

Amazing Grace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZfnQxUhzQ

Day 8: Prayer and The Word

My goodness. If I were to keep things real on this blog, I would have to admit to you that this 'Being thankful every day in the month of November' is a serious stretch for me right now. I have never posted this often. Honestly, with the way I'm feeling right now, what I have really wanted to do is shut the entire thing down. This blog is another thing my friend loved for me to do and let me know real quick if I hadn't posted in a few days.

It's just hard.

Everything is hard.

Including going to church today. I have to be honest and tell you I do NOT want to go. I do NOT want to see anyone and I do NOT want to talk to anyone.

That sounds incredibly selfish and maybe even immature, but my nature is to shut the world out when I hurt.

I want so much to be able to hold it together and I fear I'm not going to be able to do that.

So, this morning I'm clinging to verses I have hidden in my heart and praying God carries me today ...

My grace is sufficient for thee:

for my strength is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

When thou passest through the waters,

I will be with thee; and through the rivers,

they shall not overflow thee:

when thou walkest through the fire,

thou shalt not be burned;

neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Isaiah 43:2

Also, please know how very thankful I am to all of you who have sent me emails/comments praying for me. Each word has been so uplifting and like healing balm to my broken heart. When I can't seem to pick up my bible, I read an email that reads like someone is praying God's Word all over me and I feel lighter. I am amazed at the body of Christ and how He uses those who don't even know me personally to lift my name to Him. I will never be able to express what that means to me.

Day 7: Running Partner

I got up this morning bright and early to go running. As I was getting dressed I heard, "Wait! I'm going with you, Mama!"

Look! It's my favorite 7 year old!

She did great, too. When she would get tired she would say, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". So cute.

The conversation was sweet and something God knew I would need today to get me through.

As we were walking out of the driveway, E asked, "What do you think about when you're running alone, Mama?"

I said, "Well, I usually talk to God. See that mountain?

I start by walking, looking at that mountain and saying 'I lift my eyes unto the hills from where my help comes from. My help comes from the Lord the maker of heaven and earth.' Then, I just talk to him about my day".

She said, "You know what I think when I look at that mountain out of my bedroom window?"

"No, what?"

"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

I adore this little girl!

Day 6: Letters, Notes and Pictures

I'm walking through this trial asking God to help me see His purpose. I may have trouble opening up my Bible or praying this week, but deep down I know God understands.

I believe Wednesday was one of the most difficult days I've ever experienced. I cannot think of another time in my life that I have felt so overwhelmingly sad. As I 'halfway' listened to my Pastor talk about Pam and the wonderful life she led, I couldn't raise my head. I kept looking down focusing on the circles in the fabric of my Mom's purse. At times, I thought I may stop breathing from crying.

What is odd is I just taught a Sunday School lesson two weeks ago and gave an illustration of when you're close to a trial or situation, it's so hard to see the bigger picture. I took a picture and held in front of a girl's nose and asked her what the picture was. She, ofcourse, couldn't tell me. It was too close. But, when I pulled it away and she could focus in on it, she could see the picture and describe it.

I have thought of that illustration several times this week. Right now, I'm too close to the trial and I cannot for the life of me see the bigger picture. I have no idea what God has in store and I know until I'm further away from it I won't be able to put it into focus. I'm not sure I'll ever understand, but I know right now I'm too close to the hurt.

God has been so sweet to remind me of letters, notes, scribbles on paper and pictures Pam left me. She was always encouraging me through cards and letters and scripture. Just this past May, as I stood to teach five different lessons at our youth girls retreat (a retreat Pam insisted I do!), I would have an envelope waiting on the podium for me. Each one included a letter from Eric and a letter from her .... telling me how proud she was of me and always ... ALWAYS scripture to encourage me.

I saw those letters Monday night and knew I would treasure them forever. Then, I found this post on her blog I had no idea she had ever written.

I have this picture hanging in my kitchen.

It reminds me of one of the sweetest birthday gifts I've ever received (click link to read) and it reminds me to focus on Jesus.

What I'm learning already through this is how important the written word is. We are a society of text messages and quick emails, but to have a sticky-note of scribbled words from my friend will be forever cherished. I'm thankful she was faithful to do that for me. May I do the same for someone else.

Day 5: My Husband

I am thankful for my husband, Eric.

God blessed me in a unique and abundant way when He gave me my husband. He makes me laugh, he comforts me when I'm hurting and he edifies me at all times. He is the best person I know.

Day 4

I would be lying if I said I hadn't questioned God over the past few days. I know I'll never understand His ways and what He chooses to do isn't at all what I would do. Then, I remember He has even included that in His Word for when I would question His will and His motive.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways,

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

The truth is I've had a hard time praying. And, right now I NEED to be praying. I NEED to be praying for so many friends around me who are hurting. I NEED to be praying for my little girl who is STILL having so much stomach pain and discomfort she is out of school again today. Last night as I rocked her and the house was quiet I thought, "Okay, Lord. Let's talk." But, I just couldn't do it. Immediately, I thought about Romans 8:26...

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.

For we do not know what we should pray

for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself

makes intercession for us with groanings

which cannot be uttered.

...and I knew He understood. All I could say was I loved Him and I was trying my best to trust Him.

I went running this morning. I was tired and ill and aggravated. I ran longer than I ever have, but it was hard. I thought I would run in silence but decided that wouldn't work. No silence. I don't want to pray.

So, I listened to this song. About 30 times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Myxg69UpMOA

I'm trying to get there. I'm trying to believe. I wish my friend was here so I could ask her if it's all real and as soon as I think the thought, I know the answer. She is in the very place she lived her entire life for. I agree with you, Lisa. I believe she would tell me YES!!

God is still God. He is still on His throne. So, today I am thankful for His grace, His mercy and His comfort through His word.

Day 3: My friend

Well, I didn't know yesterday when I was posting about being thankful what an hour would bring! I wrote about purposing in my heart to look for the good every day this month.

Today will be more difficult than I thought, but I will do it!

Today I am thankful for my friend, Pam. I need to write a post to do our friendship justice, and I will. But, today I'm sad because yesterday she passed away unexpectedly.

I miss her.

I'm sad.

But, I'm thankful for the time I had with her. She is the friend that made me fall head over heels in love with God's Word. She is the one that challenged me and talked to me for endless hours about Scripture. She pushed me, she loved me well and she was an amazing encourager to me.

I am heartbroken.

But thankful.

Pam's favorite verses ....

Thou art my hiding place;

thou shalt preserve me from trouble;

thou shalt compass me about

with songs of deliverance. Selah.

Psalm 32:7

Thou art my hiding place

and my shield:

I hope in thy word.

Psalm 119:114

I miss you, sweet Pam!

A Month of Thankfulness

It's the month to be thankful (one of my favorites). After the girls went to bed last night, I dug out my Thanksgiving plate and displayed it in the kitchen.

This is one of my favorite months and with all the busyness going on in our home, I know I'll have to be purposeful to see the beauty in the midst of the mundane.

Tonight we'll start our paper chain and hopefully add to it all month. I love to watch it grow and so do my children. I'm going to do the same on this blog ... a short post of what I'm thankful for on that particular day. These will be more for me, I guess, as I ask God to turn my heart towards that which is good .... focusing on how truly blessed we are!

Today I'm choosing two things since I didn't start on the 1st yesterday (off to a great start, right?)

I'm thankful for my bible study group! (I would post a picture of the group here, but I fear they would kill me). I truly love these ladies and enjoy the time we are together.

This particular study is stretching me (goodness, it can be tough), but I love how we're all enjoying learning so much.

I'm also thankful for my brother, John Patrick!

Eric has been traveling so much. With all the things we've had going on lately (teacher's meetings, gymnastics, dr. appointments, etc.) I have had to rely on him to help me out with pick ups, etc. He has been great about it and has helped me with tremendous burdens lately. (Is it sick that I am thankful he hasn't found a full-time job since graduation? Don't answer that. I'm pretty sure he isn't thankful for that one :)

I Got an A!!!

Did you know that Krispy Kreme gives one doughnut for every A your child earns??

Report cards came home last week and E couldn't wait to get there. She got to pick out 6 doughnuts of any kind she wanted. I'm so happy she picked out one of these ...

I helped with the A's right? I sit through the homework and monitor all the projects. Surely this tired Mama deserves some chocolate icing with sprinkles. Right?

I'm so certain E agrees with me I had to sneak and eat it in the laundry room.

We'll see if she notices :)