What's Really Important

As I was sitting in my class at work yesterday, I was 'halfway' listening to the teacher talk to the kiddies about the letter 'S'. I checked out. I already know the letter 'S' and my mind tends to wander.

I usually think of things I need to do when I get off. Errands I need to run. Instead I was thinking about E, my 8 year old. She's been really quiet lately and that always bothers me. "What's going on, Lord? Will you tell me?" I prayed for her.

Then, I did something I rarely do. I snuck out of my class and walked to hers. I peeked in and saw her working quietly at her desk. I asked her teacher if I could talk to E for a moment.

"Is something wrong, Mom?", she asked.

"No, I was just thinking that you and I could do something tonight. Just the two of us".

Her eyes lit up and she hugged me. (Affirmation I'm on the right track).

I went back to my class and it wasn't long before I was trying to rationalize what I just committed to. What about homework? What about baths and bedtime? It's so cold out. What about this or that? A lot of what ifs?

An hour later, O and I were leaving the school when E's teacher stopped me. She said E had told the class she was going out with JUST HER MOM. She said, "I don't know what you have planned, but you have one excited little girl on your hands".

Planned? I have nothing planned?

Here's the deal ... I always assume with Eric's travel schedule and the time he is away from home that my girls need one on one time with him. Not me. The thought rarely crosses my mind because I am always under the assumption they are sick of me and the amount of time it's just us. But, I realize the time we are together is consumed with time constraints and distractions ... 'get your homework done' ... 'it's bedtime' ... etc. I rarely take the time to just sit quietly while they talk.

We went to E's favorite restaurant and I TURNED OFF MY PHONE. She had my undivided attention. It took a little bit for her to open up, but half-way through dinner the flood gates opened. My word. She talked and talked and talked. I didn't think she would come up for air :) I tried to appear like I wasn't shocked, but inside I was so happy she was talking.

Talking about school, teachers, church, books, friends, her play, etc., etc.

I was learning so much and at the same time felt guilty I hadn't taken the time to listen before now. Ugh .. I hate that feeling.

I asked her where she wanted to go after dinner and she chose B*rnes and N*ble (see, a girl after my own heart :)

We looked at books together. I didn't let myself go to the section I would normally go to ... tonight was all about her.

Do you know what she chose to do?

She asked if we could sit in the middle of the children's section at a table we used to sit at when she was little. She wanted ME to read HER some books. Not just any books ... books I read to her years ago. My avid, chapter-book reader wanted to sit and listen to me read Click, Clack Moo, Goodnight Moon, Knuffle Bunny, Snowy Day, Where the Wild Things Are, etc. More than 15 books!

What on earth?

That moment wasn't wasted on me. I couldn't get that thought out of my mind as I was going to bed last night. What did that mean?

I realize at that moment, E wasn't responsible for anything. Nothing was expected of her. She had no rules to worry about. She just wanted to feel like a little kid again and know her Mom was giving her undivided attention to her.

When will I ever get that right?

My sweet girl that has been so withdrawn and quiet lately happily skipped into school this morning like she had received a re-charge.

The truth is, we both did.