It's raining here today. E said she was glad because God would know just the right amount of water our flowers and tomato plants need. She's right. He knows what we need when we need it.
My girls came home today with their progress reports (only 4 more weeks of school!). They know the rule - they aren't allowed to open their folders until we are home. Then, only Eric and I can open them in front of that particular child. We make it as inconspicuous as possible. I usually wait until one is distracted and call the other one into the kitchen to go over it together. We talk it over, give praises and send them on their way. There is no family discussion about who is progressing well, who is making straight A's or who needs to work on something. In other words, it's all private.
Ofcourse, O is only in Transitional Kindergarten, but she attends the same school and gets a progress report when E does. Early in the year, E was very interested in how O was doing.
We make every effort to keep our girls from competing with each other. I realize we won't be able to prevent it and some competition will be inevitable. I know this. But, I pray they will never feel they have to measure themselves against a standard set by their sister. Or a standard set by us based on praise we give the other one!
Sibling Rivalry ...
A friend of mine asked me recently what I do about my girls fussing and if they ever do. Ha! Ofcourse, they do!!! Sometimes, I think it's going to be the death of me. Especially at 4:00 every.single.day. when I'm trying to wrap up E's homework and start dinner. Their claws come out.
I think back to how my Mom handled it. She would make my brother and me sit on the sofa and hug each other. For what seemed like HOURS! All we had to do was tell each other we loved each other. Todd would usually say, "I love you in God's way, but not in my way".
I'm not sure that worked on my Mom.
Anyway, I don't have all the answers and certainly make plenty of mistakes. But, one thing I do is make my girls take the time to encourage each other.
Particularly in the mornings on the way to school, if they are grumpy, I make them say nice things about each other. They take turns.
For instance, O always starts out by saying, "E, you have nice feet". (Honestly, she's usually the grumpy one and finds it difficult to say something nice to E.)
E always starts off with, "O, you have beautiful glasses".
After a few rounds, or until O actually gives encouragement to E, I have each one pray for the other one.
I love this in particular. It's really sweet.
So far, it always always ends with the 2 of them laughing with each other.
They are friends. And isn't that what every Mom wants for their children. To grow up to actually like each other and be genuine friends.
Atleast I do.
Again, I make a lot of mistakes in this area. Any suggestions? What do you do?
3 comments:
My parents never let us see each other's report card. We found other ways to compete. However I do think not knowing what is going on with my sisters academically made a huge difference. I raise my kids the same way. Way to go!
Well, I have no advice, but I'm totally stealing your idea of having them give each other encouragement. We went through a time a few months ago when I had them each do a good deed for the other every day. That lasted about a week. ha! Maybe I need to reinstate that!
I have 2 girls (5 years apart) and I never felt like there was sibling rivalry between them. In fact, they got along real well with each other end are very close today as adults. They are 2 very different personalities. Love & blessings from NC!
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