Teaching Humility ... while trying to learn it myself

I always know when something is wrong with my kids just by looking at them. I'm not one of those moms that wishes ill-will or thrives on drama, but I can detect a certain look in E or a quietness in O that tells me something is off.

E, sadly, has tried to develop the art of holding things back and in until she bursts. Another reason I am thankful God has given me the insight to see through her charade. When hurt or upset, she gets quiet, but daydreams ... always appearing in deep-thought (because she is). When you ask her what's on her mind, she will always smile and say, "Nothing".

After dance class (her third), she took a shower and snuggled up next to me on the sofa to read. We were alone (O was in bed and Eric had ran an errand) and I was thankful for no distractions. Something was off.

I put my book down and started questioning (prying :). Seconds later, she broke down ... sobbing. I had to let her cry for a few minutes before I could understand. Her devastation was caused by not knowing the steps in dance class (tap) and not being able to keep up. Her teacher was very encouraging to her and helped her (while stopping the class to do so) and E was embarrassed.

I listened without interrupting for what seemed like an hour and was confident what the real problem was. Pride. Perfection.

Those things will always leave us devastated, will they not?

My sweet girl is compassionate and kind, but she is bound by the idea she has to be perfect to please. Please, Father forgive me if I have instilled any of this in her ... and please give me wisdom to help her to reject it.

After I spent another hour showing her the correct way to do a 'shuffle ball change' and a time-step (oh yes, I did - God please help me with that - it's been 25 years!), I talked with her about pride and humility.

The majority of her aggravation was trying to hold back tears in the middle of class. I told her she would have to come to terms with the fact that she wouldn't know how to do these steps every week and she would need help. She would have to let down that pride that keeps her from admitting she just doesn't know. She'll have to let go of the fear of looking foolish and understand this is a learning time for her and a challenge, that if she makes up her mind to pursue, God will honor the hard work. All that meant she would have to humble herself and understand she wasn't the 'best' at tap, but with hard work she could be great.

This morning, I had 1 Peter 5:6 written on a sticky-note for her ...

"Humble yourselves therefore

under the mighty hand of God,

that he may exalt you in due time."

We talked about how if we will humble ourselves, we will never have to worry about proving anything to anyone. God will take care of that ... He will take care of our character and our reputation and lift us up in His time. He just wants our humility.

She put the sticky-note in her bookbag and said she wanted to stick it on her desk as a reminder.

As she left for school, I made a sticky-note for myself with the same verse. Heaven knows I need the reminder as well.