Day 23 of Remodel

Right this minute, I am lying on Emma's bed listening to contractors working downstairs.  Not just any contractors, but the ones installing our countertops. 

GLORY!

So much about our kitchen remodel has been waiting on this part of the process.  So, I am a tad giddy.  And, I may cry.

If all goes well, I will be cooking in my very own kitchen in 2 days.  I never in a million years thought I would be happy about cooking, but you better believe I am.

We are so tired of eating out ... not to mention it costs A LOT to do so.

I'm envisioning loaves of cinnamon bread, chocolate pies, roast beef, corn bread, biscuits, cream corn and fried squash (just a few things I've been craving).

We're very close, ya'll!  Can't wait!

Sunday Letters

... on a Monday.

Dear Emma,

You loved your first week of Fourth Grade! I wasn't sure we would ever get you to stop talking the first day.  You couldn't even wait to have homework (you take after your Daddy on this one).  I loved picking you up everyday and seeing you so happy. 

Saturday, you ran in your school's 5K with your Daddy and me. 

You told us it was just a good opportunity to hang with your friends and talk.  ha! You are a trip.  When your Dad came back to find you to run with you across the finish line, you were grinning from ear to ear.  You crossed that line and I heard one of the teachers say, "That young lady is always smiling.  I'm not sure I've ever seen her without a smile on her face".

That's my girl.  I love you!

Dear Olivia,

Whew.  School all day.  This is new to you and rocking your world right now.  You say you love everything about school, but when you almost crawl in the van in the afternoons, I know you are wiped out. 

You had one meltdown on the 2nd day.  You got in the van and wouldn't hardly speak to me.  When I pressed you on it, you broke down and sobbed and said your water bottle didn't work and you couldn't get any water all day long and why didn't I care that you couldn't get water and Sydney has the same water bottle and she can get water but you couldn't ... all through crocodile tears.

Whoa.  All Emma and I could do was stare at you and let you have your moment.

Ofcourse, I got you a bottle that works great for the next day.  That afternoon, you got in the van busting to use the bathroom.  Your water bottle worked so well, you drank the entire thing and then wouldn't ask to go to the bathroom.

First grade stress.  We'll get all the kinks worked out :) I'm very proud of you!

Dear Eric,

What a whirlwind these past 3 weeks have been with a kitchen remodel and a hectic travel schedule! I love that through it all, we know how much God has blessed us and continues to look out for every detail of our lives together.  We are crazy most times, but very blessed.  I love you.

Find a Place Near the Altar

I have changed my blog URL to raisingfutureesthers.com.  (no longer includes blogspot in the address) If you view my blog in a reader, you may want to update the address. 

When Emma was a newborn, I remember telling a friend I would never be able to have a quiet, devotional time again.  My life was suddenly turned upside down ... in an incredibly good way, but different nonetheless.  The thought of sitting down for more than 5 minutes and doing anything other than catching a quick nap just seemed ridiculous to me. Add a second child and well, it would be a good day if I could even remember where my Bible was.

It doesn't take long for a new Mom to feel disconnected from the outside world and even more so, fellowship with her heavenly Father.

I believe it was during this time God began to work on my heart about false guilt and condemnation.  If I didn't make time to sit down and study His Word, I went to bed feeling defeated, as if the day was a total bust.  Surely God was on His throne looking down with a flood of disappointment.  He had seen me choose a nap or eating a meal over reading His word and maybe He wouldn't be able to get past that.

Romans 8:1 became my mantra .... "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit".

That last part used to make me pause ... who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.  Okay, so God doesn't condemn me, I get that, but I need to walk in the Spirit? How does that happen?

God spoke to me through Psalm 84 (NIV), particularly verses 1-3, and it was like water on a parched soul.

How lovely is your dwelling place,

O LORD Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the LORD;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Verse 3 speaks of a bird making a nest for her young .... a place near God's altar.

Photo: Google Image

Walking in the Spirit, raising my girls and making my home (nest) near the altar would be an ongoing prayer throughout my day.  Fellowship with my Savior doesn't have to be cultivated only through an hour long devotional time.

It's instead a sweet exchange at all times throughout my day. 

Reading a verse and meditating on its meaning while preparing breakfast.
Talking about His goodness with my girls while they're getting ready for school.
Praying on the way to school.
Making Jesus a part of our conversation.
Using His Word for guidance when we're having problems.
Singing His praise music in the car ... loudly :)
Thanking Him when an unexpected check comes in the mail, making sure my girls know WHO the blessing really is from.
Asking forgiveness when we mess up (Mom does this a lot!)
Praying out loud when we're frustrated with one another.
Saying bedtime prayers.

In other words, a daily lifestyle.

Sure, devoted study time is important.  Now that my girls are older, if I don't have some sort of devotion time, it's usually a result of poor choices on my part.  But, to feel condemnation over that is not what God has in mind for us.  He loves us too much to want us to wallow in that guilt.

How do I keep my family near the altar? By doing all of the above things as well as keeping a devotion book and Bible in my car to read while I'm sitting in the carpool line.  Keeping a devotion book beside my bed so I can read it before my feet touch the floor and before I turn out the light at night.  Posting Scripture on sticky notes on my girls' bathroom mirror so they can read it before they start their day.

And most importantly, knowing that when I mess up, He is faithful to forgive and restore.

Staying near the altar takes effort, but there's no other place I'd rather be.

First Day of School

We choose verses for our girls every school year.  A verse they can possibly memorize, but hopefully think of throughout the year.  Traditionally, we sit them down the night before school starts and go over what is expected of them and what verse we have chosen.  I type their verses on cardstock, frame them and keep them in their rooms to remind them.

This year will be Olivia's first time going to school all day.  Actually, it will also be the first time going to school where I'm not working next door or down the hall.  I'm not working at the school this year (though I do get to teach an 8th grade girls' small group once a week - more on that later) so Olivia has been a little anxious. 

Eric and I want her to remember that eventhough there are times we can't be with her, she never has to worry or fear because God is always with her keeping her safe.  We choose Joshua 1:9 for Olivia and her frame reads like this ....

"Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or discouraged;

for the Lord God will be with Olivia wherever she goes."

Emma is in the 4th grade and we chose her verse after listening to her conversations with her friends and grandmothers over the past weeks.  Her main concern is staying away from girl drama in her classroom. :) (That should be all of our concern, right?) Plus, she wants to do her best.  We chose Psalm 1:1-3 and her frame reads like this ...

Blessed is Emma who does not

walk in the counsel of the ungodly.

She delights in the Word and studies it day and night.

She is like a tree planted by rivers of water,

which yields its fruit in season and

whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever she does prospers.

We're praying for a year of growth for all of us. 

 

Twas The Night Before School Starts

Dear Olivia,

Tomorrow is the day.  The day you start First Grade! It will also be the first time you are in school all day long.  This is the hardest part for Mommy.  I loved when you and I would leave school at 12:00 and have a few hours to ourselves before we picked up Emma.  Those were special times!

But, you're growing up and that means going to school all day, eating lunch at school and making even more new friends.  Whatever anxiety you had over the summer seems to be disappearing and you are growing more excited about starting back.

Just know that I will miss you! I will do everything in my power not to hover.  Working at the school the past 2 years spoiled me somewhat since I got used to seeing you many times throughout the day, including playing with you at recess.  But, it's time.  I won't be there this year and that's okay.  You are an independent, sweet girl and you are going to thrive!

My prayer for you this year is for you to hold tight to that fierce confidence you have in yourself.  You think you are a really cool kid and I adore that about you! I pray you know without a doubt God is with you at every moment and helping you as you experience new things. 

So, let's take First Grade by storm!

I love you,

Mommy

*****************************************************
Dear Emma,

I can hardly type it ...... F o u r t h  G r a d e ???

As difficult it is for Mom to swallow, you are over-the-moon excited about it.  Since you were in first grade, you wanted to be in fourth :) haha You already love the teachers so much, and I have to say, we are pretty excited about them too.  They are both going to pour so much Jesus into you that I predict this will be a banner year for you and your walk with Christ.

Let it be so, Lord!

I couldn't be more confident in you and how you will handle yourself this new year.  You are growing into such a kind, deeply-Spiritual, well-rounded young lady.  But, make no mistake, I still see glimpses of the little girl you still are, who needs reassurance and guidance regularly.  What a relief to me :)

I love you so much and pray this year is all you are expecting and more.  God is with you in all you set out to do, so make sure you include Him in everything.  He's worthy of your allegiance.

So, here we come Fourth Grade! Let's do this.

I love you!

Mom

Linky Love

It's the day before school starts and my to-do list could not be any longer.  Sensing my stress, my sweet Olivia just brought me breakfast as I was getting out of the shower.

A half-eaten poptart.

Breakfast of champions.

I do want to share a few things with you real quick.

For today ONLY, you can pre-order Angie Smith's new book What Women Fear for half off the cover price at B*rnes & Noble. 

That's a great price, and without question will be a great book! Click here to read Angie's post and click here to pre-order.

Angie's blog has always been a favorite of mine.  I've sat back and watched as God has blessed her writing, turned her heart-wrenching story into a best-selling book (I Will Carry You) and now she's a speaker for W*men of Faith.  I am a fan.

What Women Fear ....



Also, do you follow the ModSquad Blog?

During the month of October, they will be hosting 31 Days of Praying for Your Daughter.  This series goes along with all the other 31 Days of Change hosted by The Nester (details here).

Needless to say, I'm particularly interested in this one and accept the challenge! Check it out here.

Also, the ModSquad blog already has a neat prayer guide for you to pray over your girl(s) each day of the week.  I love it.  You can find it here.

Okay, I must run.  Countertop installers were due here at 9:00 this morning to make final measurements.  It's after 10:00 and so far, they're a 'no show'. 

Good times.

Happy Monday, y'all!

Three More Sleeps

We have three more sleeps until school starts (that's how I communicate time to Olivia). 

Are we ready?

That's debatable, I guess.

Am I ready for all the bickering to stop and to have a quiet moment to myself?

Well, that would be a very emphatic YES!

But, am I ready for the early morning wake-up call, my baby to be in all-day school and the busy days of homework and lessons?

Absolutely not.

We've enjoyed being lazy this Summer ....

 (A morning ritual - my girls climb in my bed. 

Emma reading her Americ*n Girl magazine and Olivia playing math games on the computer)

.... and that's never an easy thing to let go of.

But, it's here nonetheless.

Just three more sleeps.

I Need Your Answers

It's 6:00am and I'm wide awake.  I've been wide awake most of the night.  My mind is on overdrive these days and I'm really in need of a solid, good night's sleep.  I actually turned on my bedside lamp at 3:00 this morning to write down a thought I believe God was waking me up for.

Apart from Sunday School (have I told you I get to teach our women's class along with 2 other women? More on that later, but it's a huge blessing to me), I am planning to speak at our church's Women's Retreat in September and I have asked God to make me especially sensitive to what He's trying to speak to me as far as lessons go.  I don't want to miss a morsel of what He may be preparing for us for that weekend, and I've asked Him to tell me early.  haha Although God tends to be a right-on-time-even-at-the-very-last-minute kind of God, I know He knows I will obsess over it and that maybe it would be in my best interest if He would, you know, go ahead and give me the lessons.

Haha. 

I laugh at myself because I know how ridiculous that all sounds. 

One thing I've learned .... my plans are rarely His, but my stubborness never keeps me from asking Him anyway ;)

I said all that to say, I have a question for you.  Actually more than one question and I would love it if you would answer them in the comments or send me an email (I'm no longer allowing anonymous comments because my heart can't take it. If you don't have a blog, all you have to do is sign up for a google account (easy) and leave a comment that way)

So, here are the questions ....

(1) Do you struggle with knowing God loves you unconditionally?

(2) What do you believe has hindered you from accepting how much God loves you?

(3) Has your childhood affected how you view your Heavenly Father?

(4) In reference to the Body of Christ (particularly women), has God given you a relationship that encouraged you in your faith? (I'm talking about relationships, mentors, friendships with other women) How did that relationship change your walk with the Lord?

(5) In the same respect, have you been so discouraged by the Body of Christ, you've stopped serving the Lord in some capacity?

Thanks so much for taking the time to answer these questions.  Again, if you would rather email me instead of comment, send your answers to deidrelail(AT)embarqmail(DOT)com.

I appreciate y'all so much!

(It's now 1:30pm and I had to jump on here and tell y'all you're making me cry (and laugh!) with your answers.  I'm thinking my phone may explode from all the emails.  You girls are passionate about these topics! I'm learning so much.  Can't wait to share more.  Until then, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!!! Keep them comin').

What I'm Loving Wednesday

I always enjoy reading 'What I'm Loving Wednesday' posts over at Jamie's blog, so I decided to join in today.

This week I am loving ...

(1) This book by Renee Swope. 

I admit I was not going to read this book.  Everyone I know is reading it, so I thought I would just learn from them.  Besides, do I really have an issue with doubt? (Don't answer that)

I think of this book a lot, so I broke down and bought it.  Great decision.  So much wisdom and logical, Biblical help.  Check it out.

(2) My Chaco Flip Flops

My sister-in-law, April, very generously gave me these flip flops a month or so ago (mine are brown).  With running and the agony flip flops bring on my problematic feet (plantar fascitis), I have to have support.  These are great and are saving me right now.  Thank you, April!

(3) Skinny Cow Milk Chocolate Dreamy Clusters

Yum! Only 120 calories in each pack.  I plan every meal around these 120 calories because I need/crave chocolate daily. 

(4) Eric and my girls.

Our last week of Summer certainly isn't going as I would like, but I'm still enjoying my days with them.  They make me laugh. And, I am SO thrilled Eric is in town this week.  He's my rock and boy have I needed him to lean on.

He Shows Up BIG

"Attempt something so impossible,

that unless the LORD intervenes,

it will surely fail."

June 2007:  I was watching the Dedication Ceremony of the Billy Graham Library on TV.  I was so intrigued by the entire ceremony.  Former US Presidents, Senators and Pastors, as well as many others, attended that Dedication Service and spoke about Billy Graham and the many lives he has impacted through his ministry.  What a testimony! I listened as Graeme Keith shared the above quote.

I wrote it down immediately.  I'm a 'words' girl.  I have quotes, verses and references scribbled on papers stuck in every corner and book of my home.  I often forget things that I deemed important at the time, but when I first heard the quote above, it stirred something inside me and I've never forgotten it.

2008:  Eric and I moved to our new home.  I wrote in my journal how we were stepping out on faith and trusting God to provide for our needs maybe like we never had before.  Eric was in a dying industry with little to no job security and we heard God clearly tell us to sell our home.  What we heard was 'downsize' and we set out to do just that.  We had a much dimmer end in mind, but that's not the way God works.  He orchestrated a move that put us swapping houses with another couple.  I had a problem from the beginning because I never pictured our 'downsizing' leaving us in such a nice home.  Certainly more than we deserve.

I remember when we put the for sale sign in the yard, we had no explanation to give people other than "God said to do it, so we do it".  We didn't know where we would go or what was next.

"But without faith it is impossible to please him:

for he that cometh to God must believe that he is,

and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

Hebrews 11:6

I wrote Hebrews 11:6 in my journal and began to ponder what it really meant.  If my desire each day is to please my Heavenly Father, shouldn't I be attempting something every single day that would require faith?

Whoa.  That was tough for me, a girl gripped by fear most of the time, to swallow. 

Exercise faith daily, huh?

I was even so arrogant to recite Hebrews 11:6 to one of my friends and suggest she should be doing something daily that required faith.  It all sounded good.  But, when she agreed with me and then asked me what I was doing that day to exercise faith, I stared at her dumbfounded ...... and then we both burst out laughing. (This faith stuff always sounds easier for someone else, doesn't it?)

But, it was all starting to take deep root in my heart.

February 2010:  I read books like Crazy Love and Radical and asked God to help me let go of the things I 'thought' I was in control of and rely on Him more ... you know, have a little faith.

Through much prayer, I knew God wanted me to share the lesson I was learning with my Sunday School class of high school girls.  I took my next 2 paychecks, cashed them into $20 bills and decided to pay it forward.  I taught a lesson on faith and gave each girl $20 to share with someone else.  I challenged them to make the $20 grow even bigger, document what they did and share it with the class on a certain Sunday morning.

To this day, I get choked up thinking about their testimonies.  Many of them allowed God to stretch them way beyond their comfort zones and watch Him do a mighty work.  It was phenomenal and one of my all-time favorite memories in that class.

What I have found time and time again, no matter how many times I test it, is that God can be found faithful!

And when He shows up, He shows up big.

These are not the only times I have seen faith at work.  God allows me endless opportunities to see Himself proven trustworthy.

And, I'm catching on. 

August 2011:  My journal right now reveals some BIG requests.  I need to see God move in a miraculous way.  In fact, if I allowed anyone except for the Lord to see my journal, that person would surely say I'm crazy.  (I get that anyway, actually :)

But, then I go back to Scripture and quotes like the one above and I know with everything in me God will do what He wants, when He wants ... and how pleased He will be with me for trusting Him to show up BIG.

So, I'm confident ... when I stare at my journal at the impossible, I can rest in Him knowing that as we move forward, He's putting a checkmark by all of those requests and maybe marking them with a 'P' for possible.

He's that faithful.

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,

that there may be meat in mine house,

and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts,

if I will not open you the windows of heaven,

and pour you out a blessing,

that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

Malachi 3:10

"The ONE who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NIV)

Scripture Memory - Verse 16

We're plugging right along with memorizing Scripture.  My girls and I are still memorizing Psalm 139.  We've memorized 16 verses so far (the last few have been tough and took a little longer).  We won't finish before school starts, but should a week or so afterwards.  It's been a great chapter for us to focus on this Summer!

However, I want to memorize something different for my next verse, so I chose this one ....

"Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,

whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy"

Psalm 107:2 

How are you doing with your verses?

Be Unlikely

I had an especially nice weekend.  Yes, we are in the midst of a remodel and yes, I need to organize my girls' rooms, school supplies and uniforms before school starts in a week.  But, I threw all that up in the air and went on a very impromptu shopping trip with 2 of my favorite people.

Emma and I spent the day with Katie Beth and Rita eating, shopping and eating some more :)

Rita got me back in town just in time to meet more of my friends (my Mom, Leslie, Piper, Michele and Marcella) so we could watch The Help. (I loved it!)

God has blessed me with some very sweet friends to do life with and I believe this morning I am even more grateful for that blessing.  I sat with a few of my friends last night at a meeting for an upcoming retreat we're having and I was overwrought with thankfulness for these ladies. 

As much as I have spent my life trying to convince myself otherwise, I need friends.  I need people to listen when I'm hurting, pray with me when I'm at my wits end, laugh with me over the silliest of things and above all encourage me to keep going.

And, I love even more when God hand-picks people to be in my life .... people I wouldn't otherwise choose.  He knows what is best and He even cares about who I confide in, trust and share my life with.

My heart and prayer for a long time has been to see division disappear amongst the women in my church and community.  I have asked God repeatedly to begin in my heart first.  I want Him to help me see other women through His eyes.  I've already experienced Him at work in this area.  He can always be found faithful!

If I'm honest, I would have to say this is the part that isn't always easy.  For every ten encouraging, uplifting women, there's one lady finding fault in anything and allowing the enemy to use her to tear down anything God is trying to accomplish.  If we're not careful, we could all be that lady.

Only Jesus makes us different.

Only Jesus can turn our hearts to love a person that is otherwise ... ahem ... difficult to do so.

Heavens, I pray I'm not that lady.  Whatever godly traits I lack (and there are many!), I'm asking God to pour into me like rain and shine Himself so bright, they take a strong root.

"Wherefore comfort yourselves together,

and edify one another, even as also ye do.

And we beseech you, brethren, to know them

which labour among you, and are over

you in the Lord, and admonish you;

And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake.

And be at peace among yourselves."

1 Thessalonians 5:11-13

Let's be unlikely ... making decisions that are Spirit-led, allowing God to do a new thing in our hearts.  Anybody game?

Perspective

I love how Olivia puts messages on her board for whatever we're facing.  She'll write things like "Time for Camp" or "Church Time!".  I had to laugh at what she has on it this morning ...

Mainly because this is what is to the right of that board :)

So, FUN never entered my mind (ha!), but I will say I feel incredibly blessed.  Installation is going on right now. 

But a new kitchen is frivilous ... this I know.  One day I hope to share with you how God brought it about, but for now I'll just say we never would have dreamed we would have a brand new kitchen.  We hoped for cabinet doors that didn't need to be duct-taped or ones you didn't have to hold your foot under while you opened them to keep from snapping off .... so this is a God-sized blessing to us.

And certainly not a problem. 

We realize this.

Eric and I have real problems we're facing ... in our families ... with our friends.  Rest assured, we have perspective.  God knows our hearts and we don't need anything.

But, we are very, very thankful.

The Freak Show Continues

Our kitchen demolition is complete .....

It went very well.

Installation starts on Monday!

And that may be the only positive thing I have to say right now.  ha!

It's safe to tell you now that I emptied my entire kitchen, watched over demolition, had cabinets hauled off, etc. all while Eric has been in California!!!!!

These are not fun things to do on your own.

To top it off my dryer went out Tuesday when I was in the middle of washing our mounds of dirty laundry from camp.

Thankfully, Eric is on a plane right this second heading home.  I will be so glad to see him - maybe for no reason more than I'm tired of making decisions and he needs to take over.

It's been a loooooooong week.

And because I am a certified lunatic right now, Olivia just came downstairs crying because she has red spots all over her legs.  Her crying made me a tad irrational.  I checked the rest of her body and found nothing, but got a little freaked out (with all the wailing) and called the doctor.  I made an appointment and then decided to try something ....

I washed her legs with a wet washcloth and miraculously the red spots disappeared.

I suddenly remembered that 'little drink' of fruit punch she begged for last night before bed.  I was too tired to protest and she was evidently too tired to tell me she spilled it all over her legs.

Sigh.

I could use a padded room right about now.

I'm Alive

..... maybe a bit exhausted ... but alive.

In the past week, we have bowled,

 (Nice shoes, huh?)

went roller skating,

swam with friends, went to the movies, had lunch dates and attended our church's kid's camp for 3 days. 

 (Olivia & cousin, Kassie on the bus heading to camp)

(Emma & Kassie before breakfast Saturday morning)

 (Emma as 'Silly Sally' during a camp skit)

Whew!

It has been a whirwind. 

And, while all of that was loads of fun, I came home Sunday night and started emptying my kitchen cabinets.

Demolition starts in the morning (yes, weeks before we expected). 

At this very moment, I am happy to be starting the process, but trying to adjust to my refrigerator being in my dining room and wishing I could stop and soak my feet for a few hours :)

But, I am most excited about getting rid of what I call the orange glow .....

We have wanted to change this kitchen from the time we moved in (probably even before then).

Finally, God said 'yes' and we are trying to look over the mess and exhaustion and keep our eyes on the prize.

Let the fun begin :)

Random Stuff

** Laura Wilson .... I got your comment wanting suggestions about tween devotions for your church camp.   I don't have any way to reach you.  Could you email me at deidrelail(AT)embarqmail(DOT)com ? I would love to share what I have with you.

** Olivia came running in a panic to me yesterday while yelling, "Mom, come quick! I stepped on poison!"
This is what I found ....

I think she'll be fine.

** Maybe it's because I know my kitchen is getting ready to be demolished, or maybe it's because my friend put on Facebook that this is the last week for fresh blackberries, but I became frantic we were running out of freezer jam.

This is the batch of blackberry jam I made last week.  I made 2 dozen jars of strawberry last night and am making peach today.  We put this on everything now .... ice cream, cinnamon bread, toast, biscuits, yogurt.  It's addictive .... so I'm storing up for winter :)

** One thing I will miss about Summer (and it's NOT the heat) is all the fresh vegetables and fruit.

Love me some juicy cantelope!

** My Emma is going to a pool party today.  Her teacher from last year is having the girls that were in her class over to swim.

It seems like Emma is on the go a little more lately.  Such is life, I guess.  She's growing up :(

On that note, we're heading out to buy school supplies.  It's coming fast .... whether we like it or not.