I guess it's the idea of March ushering in Spring, pretty flowers and warmer weather. And the fact that March isn't February, my least favorite month of the year.
By February, I'm sick of the cold and dreary weather, especially when there's no snow involved, which has been almost non-existent around here for the past two years.
It doesn't help when major life changes happen during such a dreary month when you can't really get outside to breathe the fresh air .... or to scream :)
Friday, I woke at 3am so I could meet my parents, Todd and John Patrick to head to the airport. JP had to be there by 5am. I was so tired. The night before was so heart-wrenching watching my girls say goodbye to their uncle JP.
Olivia screamed all the way home from my parents. I hated every last second of it. It's one thing for me to reason with God and know deep in my heart (though difficult) that what he is doing and where he is going is in His will, but my girls just cannot understand it. It makes absolutely no sense to them and I forget how much it will affect them each time they say goodbye.
As I try numerous times to explain, my words sound empty and I know it. They're too young to understand why anyone would choose to leave or want anything other than 'the obvious' for a life. (Olivia cannot figure out why he just can't work at McDonald's down the street and forget all this military junk :) It's hard.
When we arrived at the airport, the parking deck was under construction which meant we couldn't park to walk him in. We had no time to panic or gripe about it .... it is what it is. So, we said goodbye very quickly and were on our way back home in a flash.
The four of us didn't speak for what seemed like forever until we stopped at a drive-thru and Todd made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.
The story of our life.
We laugh when life gets tough because that makes more sense than crying.
God has been so, so sweet this weekend to remind me 'why' all this is necessary. I don't believe we always get a clear picture of what He's up to and maybe I'm only fooling myself to think I have an inkling as to what He's been working out in JP's life. But, what I do KNOW is how he has answered my prayers in the past 20 months (to be exact). There's no denying His hand in every step and I love that He reminded me of that.
When the Lord turned again the captivity of Zion,
we were like them that dream.
Then was our mouth filled with laughter,
and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen,
The Lord hath done great things for them.
Psalm 126:1-2
It also helps that JP is posting pictures on FB like these ....
I think he's going to be alright ;)
2 comments:
I agree... I think he's going to be more then alright :)
I think God intended the 'goodbye' to be a quick & simple thing. Easier on the heart then going in & waiting & letting the pain sit. Glad you had laughter there too to ease a sad heart.
I'll lift prayers for you & especially the girls. Its tough missing someone you care about. But luckily, we live in a world that is so tech friendly, it makes the world a tad smaller :)
You know he is!!
Remember..... the same God has His hand on JPs life, and the rest of your families life!
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