For Such A Time As This

Five on Friday

2012-01-27T08:55:00.000-05:00

1. Perhaps the most important item on the agenda today is Eric coming home. I haven't seen him since last Friday when he dropped me off at the airport for me to fly to Houston. By the time I got home Sunday night, he had already left for his trip. Stink. We knew January would be a long month of travel, but praise God, we made it!!!!!

I must have said that a lot this morning because Olivia became annoyed with it.

I don't care - I'm excited anyway :)

2. I recently ran out of Strawberry freezer jam. It was a sad day. So, at 10:00 one night, I decided to make some more. We eat this on everything .... chocolate chess pie (LOVE), yogurt, ice cream, cinnamon bread, biscuits ...

Oh, but see that butter in the background? Don't ever buy that. Yuck.

3. See this picture right here?

This picture speaks L.O.V.E.

We have a Women's Breakfast in the morning and I was suppose to iron the tablecloths. That will never happen again since I have informed everyone I am not to be trusted with getting out stains, ironing and caring for tablecloths. I stink at it. Plus, these tablecloths are HARD to iron!

My Mom knows this, so she came over and ironed while I cooked supper, gave baths and packed lunches. She ironed for 3 hours. I'm SO thankful she did that! Especially since my solution was going to be to throw them all in the trash.

See? Can't be trusted with them.

4. We started Believing God Monday night. I want to get well, so I'm taking it very seriously. I sat down and made a list of things I'm afraid of. Two pages later, I'm amazed I'm not finished. This is the first time I've listed my fears. Seeing it all in print is making them all look more ridiculous to me, which seems like a step in the right direction.

5. I just finished The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning (for the 2nd time).

I read the last half of this book on my way to Houston Friday. I read the entire book again on the plane ride home. I'm not sure if it was that good or if it was just timely for me. Either way, I made a ton of notes and have looked them over every day this week. I'll write more about it soon, but I'm curious as to whether any of you have read it (or any of his other books).

Have a great weekend!!

Spirit Week

2012-01-26T09:08:00.000-05:00

What I knew would be a long, crazy week hasn't been that bad. I've been able to catch up on sleep and yes, yesterday helped. I did drop the girls off at school, went straight to the sofa and napped all morning. I never, ever do that. I'll admit I had to remind myself repeatedly I needed it instead of doing the laundry and working on other important things staring me in the face.

It all had to wait and I think we'll all be better off because I got some rest.

This week is Spirit Week at school. The girls enjoy it much more than I do because they don't have to wear uniforms. (For the record, uniforms are a Mom's dream! You never have to fuss over what your kids will wear).

Anyway, my girls have pretty much picked out their own clothes all week.

Monday ~ Country / Western Day .....

(Olivia's horse I brought her back from Houston :)

Olivia's eyes are cracking me up in this next picture. Emma pretty much annoys her in the mornings - ha!

(excuse the picture quality - it is DARK when we go to school)

Tuesday ~ Literary Character Day .....

Nancy Drew - that bag was packed full of essential items to solve mysteries.

She stayed in character ALL DAY!

Mary Ingalls :)

Wednesday ~ Favorite Team Day ....

These pictures make me HAPPY!!!

Emma (unfortunately) takes after her Dad and pulls for NC State.

Thursday ~ Tacky Day ....

Tacky day has been their favorite. I did their hair by putting a cup on top of their head and gathering the hair all around. Olivia could have cared less how it looked. She just thought it was totally awesome to have a cup on her head :)

Tomorrow is blue and gold day to support our school. Simple blue and gold day.

What's even more exciting (for me) is that Monday it's back to uniforms. Yippee!!!

Abide: Do You Want to Get Well?

2012-01-25T02:04:00.006-05:00

Monday night was the first night of Bible Study for this semester. We're doing Believing God this time. I'm not sure why I've never done it before, but maybe it's God's timing I'm doing it now.

In preparing to lead the study, I've been struggling with a question that has been on my heart for some time.

Let me back up ....

My husband and I were cleaning out our bonus room. Since moving to this house, we haven't had enough room for ~~our~~ my books. They are crammed in every corner and shelf of this house. So, in an attempt to get more organized, we were rearranging furniture and trying to figure out a solution.

I came across my very large stack of past Bible Study books. If you are a Bible Study student, you may be like me and throw the latest one completed on top of the ever-growing stack and forget about it.

It was impressive.

I sat down and started flipping through each one .... David, Paul, Psalms, etc. Page after page was filled with little nuggets I had forgotten about and finding each one kept me digging for more.

And, then I felt sick.

I was noticing a general theme to every book. Written on every page were my answers to hard questions. And, all of my answers were the same.

For years, I have taken Bible Studies on different subjects and themes and my answers to the many questions could have been the same on every page. It was as if I hadn't learned one thing in over ten years. As if God and I haven't made any ground together.

Now, I know that isn't entirely true. I can tell you at least one thing I've taken away from each study; however, I was reading evidence that I continued to have the same struggles. Issues I was really wanting victory over yet I would see it again in another book.

That's the first time I heard God whisper "Deidre, do you want to get well?"

I recognized the question right away because I had been studying in John 5 at the time. Let's read verses 1-7 ....

After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.

"Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having five porches.

In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water.

For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.

Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.

When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

I always picture that moment like Jesus was looking at the pool, then looking down at the man and saying "Do you want to get well?" as if He had all the man needed to get up, but wondered if he was really interested in receiving it.

Sitting in front of my impressive stack of Bible Study books and reading the same answers over and over and over .... well .... I wasn't that impressed.

Instead I prayed for a change. For God to speak to me specifically and clearly about Bible Study. Why was I studying from these books? Why was I leading them? What did I want to gain from them? What was I hoping for? Did I WANT to get well?

I answered all of these questions over the next year or so. I chose studies differently and approached them different. And, I know God has been teaching me that those books are not what will heal me, but His Word alone will accomplish that. And, we've been making some ground ... chiseling away at some things I've not wanted to do the hard work on.

"He sent his word, and healed them,
and delivered them from their destructions."
Psalm 107:20

One of my issues is fear (though there are many ;). And not just fear of someone breaking in my house or something happening to my family. But, deep down fear that influences every decision I make. Fear that even affects my attitude and leaves me lonely and disobedient.

I testify to anyone that will listen that 'fear is my issue'. "Hey you! I have an issue with fear". It just rolls off my tongue so easily, I probably say it more than I say my own name.

And, I hear God saying it again ....

"Deidre, do you WANT to get well?"

"Deidre, are you interested in demolishing this stronghold?"

"Deidre, do you want some band-aid verses to use when you feel fearful OR do you want to let My Word rain down on your parched, fearful soul and let new life spring forth in its place."

My answer is a VERY LOUD "Yes!!!!!!"

I want to get well!!

I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of living in defeat over this one issue. I want to get well and I KNOW the ONE that is capable of healing.

What about you?

Do you want to get well?

Linked to: Word-filled Wednesday, Walk with Him Wednesday, Wordful Wednesday, and Women Living Well

I'm booked on Wednesday

2012-01-24T09:22:00.001-05:00

Yaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn.

I am a tad bit weary.

I landed back in NC Sunday night after a wonderful, sweet, fulfilling, crazy time in Houston for the Siesta Scripture Memory Team Celebration with Beth Moore. I'm going to share more about it when I can figure out how I want to do so. There was just so much that took place in 3 days. God spoke to me in ways that nearly knocked me off my feet. And, I know that I'm the only one that will really get that in print. So, I'm not sure how to post about it. If I wrote about it right now, I would say something like ... "I went to Houston. It was nice. I came home".

Stay tuned.

I knew life would be crazy once I got home. I was trying to pack Thursday (with a violent stomach virus - yes, I almost died - except not really) when I skimmed an email from the girls' school saying this week would be Spirit Week.

As in no uniforms and a different 'costume' all week.

And, then I did die.

I scribbled down some instructions for Eric to round up some things for atleast Monday and today. Today was posing a problem for Olivia (Literary Character Day) because she wanted to be Nutmeg (the mouse from Tumtum & Nutmeg).

Olivia's Mom can't sew.

Nutmeg is her favorite. I hinted to her yesterday that Mary Ingalls was really her favorite, and because God loves me, Olivia decided that was true.

When Emma asked her why not Laura Ingalls, Olivia rolled her eyes and said "Hello! Blonde hair".

Exactly.

So far, it's all working out and the girls are happy with their outfits when leaving for school. What a relief to me since I haven't had any time to be creative.

We started Bible Study last night (Believing God) and as if the first day of a new study isn't crazy enough for me, my van broke down.

I didn't let it get me down, though. It is what it is. And, truthfully, what I want more than planned-out costumes and a van that runs is some sleep.

I've scheduled that for tomorrow.

Wednesday, the sofa and I will be best friends.

Can hardly wait.

Abide: Grave clothes

2012-01-18T02:44:00.020-05:00

As much as I love to discover a story in Scripture I have never read before, I also love reading through a familiar story or passage to see what 'new' thing God reveals to me.

Enter John 11.

The passage about Lazarus is chock full of rich lessons from the Lord. Every single time I read it, the Lord reveals new things to me. I've always had so many questions about the story.

This time was no different. God showed me something really interesting.

Quick background ....

Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha, was sick. They sent word for Jesus to come quickly. When Jesus heard the news, he stayed where he was another two days testifying that what was about to happen would be for the glory of God. (vv. 1-7).

All of us who read this passage more than likely can relate to these verses. When we want God to do something now, He often waits because there's a bigger picture .... a glory being revealed that we can't see.

Tough.

Verse 7 shows Jesus and his disciples are traveling back to Judaea, where Lazarus was. When Jesus gets there, Martha tells him they're too late. Lazarus is dead ... he's been in the grave four days.

Verses 38-43 ....

Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.

Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.

Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?

Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.

And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.

And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.

Many scholars will argue that Lazarus couldn't have been fully dead if he heard Jesus call his name. I now know that this verse is comparable to when we are dead in our trespasses and Jesus calls us to accept Him, receive Him as our Savior and gives us new life.

He first called my name on January 5, 1992. I was sitting in Sunday School and had been going to church for around 2 1/2 years. Surely I had heard about Salvation by then? I don't know, but I can tell you I don't remember hearing it before then.

But, on that morning, my Sunday School teacher said "If you've never asked Jesus into your heart and accepted Him as your Savior, He cannot and will not hear your prayers!"

Those words cut right through me. I had been praying some big prayers and needed desperately for God to hear me. I couldn't wait to get into the service to talk to my Pastor.

And, it was on that day, shortly after the morning worship service, that I accepted Christ. It was like the first time I heard Jesus say, "Deidre, come forth!!" and I responded. He was calling me out of the grave ... my sinful state and giving me new life.

But, what happened to Lazarus? Let's read further ...

Verse 44 ...

"And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go."

The NIV says "Take off the grave clothes and let him go".

Graveclothes?

What would graveclothes mean to us? Why after resurrecting Lazarus from the dead (the most powerful act in itself) would Jesus then address the graveclothes? Why didn't He just demolish the graveclothes upon calling Lazarus out of the grave?

I believe when Jesus saves us, we have new life (2 Cor 5:17). We are made whole and on our way to heaven. However, the 'in between' time is Sancitification - when God is molding us more into His image every day, teaching us and taking us to deeper levels with Him so we may know more about Him. In order to grow more like Him, we must get rid of the old things, the baggage that bogs us down and keeps us defeated. We must shed the graveclothes and walk towards Him.

Graveclothes are anything that keeps us bound. Anything that keeps us from loving what God created or whom God created. Anything that keeps us from appreciating where Christ has us in this particular moment.

Graveclothes are bitterness, defeat, sorrow, guilt, abuse, shame, secrets, insecurity, condemnation, habitual sin, division amongst the brethren, gossip, hopelessness, depression, ____________.

I love that the KJV says "Loose him, and let him go". That word 'loose' in original Greek means 'Lyo' which is to loose, destroy or to deprive any authority.

To deprive any authority!

When we become comfortable in our graveclothes, the above mentioned things (and more!) have full authority over our lives. Those things are controlling our behavior, our moods, our service to a Heavenly Father. We're making huge, life-altering decisions weighed down with graveclothes as if going to our funeral.

We become like a cancer to God's church and our homes He so desperately wants to see flourish.

Galatians 5:1 says "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."

God knows how hard this is for us. He gets all that we go through and He knows! But, according to Galatians 5:1, we can stand in the liberty He has prepared for us and walk out of that darkness.

We are to live in this world, but we are not expected to be of this world. God, alone, equips us to live freely and without burden. All we have to do is ask him to help us shed the burden.

Are you walking around like you're going to your funeral? Or do you show you have a Risen Savior living and working within you!

Take off your graveclothes and walk! Salvation is here!

**Linked with Women Living Well Wednesday, Wordful Wednesday, Walk with Him Wednesday and Word Filled Wednesday.

Let's Hear For Teacher Workdays!

2012-01-17T02:30:00.001-05:00

I can go ahead and say that the best part of this week is probably going to be the Teacher Workday.

We love days off from school! And, what makes it even better is when Eric takes off from work as well.

We had a somewhat lazy morning and then went to Disc*very Place (a Science Museum about an hour from where we live).

Eric went as a child, but I don't think I've ever been. This was the girls' first trip too.

We stayed all day.

They have a fascinating Mummy exhibit that I thought would freak us out a little, but it was honestly very interesting. We learned a lot! (I thought a lot about how timely it was considering I've been studying about grave clothes in John 11 - more on that tomorrow).

We weren't suppose to take pictures inside the Mummy exhibit. However, when I saw this particular case that included a piece of paper that looked like hieroglyphics written on it, I was dumb-struck over what it actually was and secretly snapped a picture of the description.

Take a look for yourself ...

Can you imagine? Saving up for a long time so the instructions on how to get to the afterlife are placed in the coffin with you? How sad is that?

Anyway, Olivia was kind of over the whole Mummy thing after only a few minutes. I finally agreed to take her out to play.

I think her favorite exhibit was this one.

You gather as much shredded paper as you can and send it up the chute. It comes back out of the top and falls down again.

She LOVED it. And was laughing so loud it was contagious.

Emma loved all of it. She loves Science, so she absorbs it all.

This next picture makes me laugh. I think this woman was really wanting a turn on the chair :)

My favorite part ..... the benches :)

Emma loved this whole assembly line exhibit. She spent a LONG time there and even went back later. She was fascinated at how each part was all ran by hand, like a production line. She would study how one part would effect the next, wondering how time affected each section. Which was a great way to explain what her Daddy does for a living (since we can never come up with a good way to explain it :)

The bed of nails ...

After dinner and a full day of fun, we reluctantly headed home to get ready for the school week.

There's not much better than spending the day with my family. We love days like this! In the midst of an insanely busy month, we are grateful for days like today.

1,000 Gifts ~ #191 - #204

2012-01-16T02:32:00.000-05:00

191. Finding letters Eric left for the girls and me to open every day while he was gone.

192. Emma praying for me when I was in so much pain with a headache.

193. Being able to call my husband when I'm hurt or mad or unusually happy and he understands all of it.

194. A house filled with children laughing and the smell of fresh baked bread.

195. God's provision.

196. Finding Olivia reading her Bible .... just because.

197. God's protection.

198. Reading God's Word and never closing it feeling empty.

199. Hearing the garage door go up and breathing a sigh of relief that Eric made it home safely from a long business trip.

200. Watching my girls follow Eric around everywhere for a solid day just so they can soak in his presence. They LOVE their Daddy!

201. Dinner with friends.

202. My church.

203. Dinner with my entire family. Lots of laughing and happiness. All grace.

204. A Sunday night that isn't a school night. Relief.

For more 1,000 Gifts, click here.

The Happy Dance

2012-01-13T02:33:00.006-05:00

Happy Friday, Everybody!

This morning looked a whole lot different in our house compared to the rest of the week. We're doing the happy dance because Eric is coming home today!!!

He's been gone since Sunday night (Yes, toooooo looooong!) and as much as I tried to make it different, the week pretty much stunk.

We've known for awhile this week was coming, so we prepared ourselves as much as we could. However, on Monday night, I got the mother of all migraines (I seriously think it was one of the worst I've ever had), so it all just went down hill from there.

It's hard to recover quickly from a migraine that big since it pretty much lingers for days but my attitude reflected it and I hated that so much.

Throw in homework, baths, sisters fighting, extra projects, a tornado scare, kids that expect to be fed 3 meals a day (the nerve :) and well, it all seems like a fog.

There were some good things, though.

We celebrated my Mom's birthday Monday. I don't have any pictures because that's when I was getting a migraine, but it was good to see everyone together. I love you, Mom!

Eric did the sweetest thing. He left a stack of letters for each one of us - one for every day that he was gone. We were to open them first thing each morning.

The girls and I really looked forward to this. Such a sweet gesture.

I was able to have lunch with a friend yesterday. We used to meet weekly, but our schedules got crazy around the holidays. With the week I had, I enjoyed speaking to an adult :) Oh, and laugh! Yet, at my expense. Let me explain ... Olivia has a friend that has a sibling. I have called this sibling 'he' for 3 years. THREE YEARS! I found out this week that 'he' is actually a 'she'. Olivia is the one that corrected me.

I'm telling you I broke out in a sweat. I haven't simply thought it was a boy in my mind. But, I've actually had conversations like "I just love him", "He is so cute!", "Here, let me help you with him" and "How well is he sleeping at night?"

Ugh! I'm an idiot!

When Olivia corrected me, I knew right off 'her' mother and I probably weren't as good of friends as I thought we were. Killed me. haha

The friend I had lunch with knows all involved and she seriously laughed 'til I thought she would choke.

Unbelievable. Only me.

Let's see .... what else was good this week?

Oh, the girls and I cheated and went out for dinner last night. (I say 'cheated' because I didn't cook :) We went to Atl*nta Bread Company because I have recently become obsessed with the Caramel Macchiato.

Listen, I do NOT like coffee. I'm just now getting to where I'll have a drink at Starbucks but only because I have found something I like that hides all the coffee taste. I have to write it down so I remember what to order (Tall, decaf, non-fat, pumpkin spice latte, whipped cream, a squirt of caramel, one splenda). Whew. Anyway, it tastes great, but if one of those things is missing, it's yuck.

For some reason, I was feeling enthusiastic about trying something new at dinner a few weeks ago at Atlanta Bread and I chose a Caramel Macchiato.

Glory. It was good. And Eric was excited for me. He wants so badly for me to like coffee. We sent him a text with this picture last night .....

He sent me a text back that said "glad you found something to make you smile".

Ouch. I guess it's no secret the grouch I've been this week.

But now I can see the light! He's coming home! Yippeeeeeee!

Still working on that fear .... redemption cometh :)

2012-01-12T10:04:00.000-05:00

I don't have a clever title or way to transition this post. I'm sitting here looking at pictures on my computer instead of doing all the things I need to. And I noticed several pictures I had forgotten about.

So, let's hear it for another random post :)

1) Are any of you as absent-minded as me?

I think I'm doing a little better these past fews weeks. Well, compared to before Christmas when I felt like I couldn't remember my name - ha!

My family doesn't have any faith in me, though. Eric's co-worker left his car parked in our driveway while they were on a business trip. My girls (and Eric) were SO afraid I would back into it. Remember this ...

Emma made me make this note and post it beside my speedometer so I would see it everytime I got in the van.

As if that isn't enough, Olivia announces (loudly) every single time we get in "Watch out for Jim's car, Mama!!!"

It worked, though :)
2) Last week my oldest niece turned 13! Ahhhhhhhh !!!

We went to a Surprise Party for her and she was shocked :) I love this girl to pieces!! Don't we look alike?

3) I feel like I could maintain some weight loss or atleast keep up a good running endurance if I would lay off the sweets. But, I can't!!!! I have to bake something all the time and I can't be stopped - haha.

The girls and I baked another giant cupcake Saturday.

And it was a little too good. Yet, apparently it's not enough because there is a Chocolate Chess Pie and a loaf of Cinnamon Bread sitting beside it.

Ugh! I can't be stopped.

4) To make room for our Christmas tree, I moved this floor lamp beside the bench in our foyer.

I loved it but had to move it back where it belonged after the decorations came down. So, now I'm on the hunt for a new (old) CHEAP one. And maybe a little smaller. Any ideas?

5) I have a post sitting in my drafts of my kitchen remodel, as well as some things I changed in my dining room a few months ago (my friend made me some beautiful window treatments!). I get an email a day asking when I'm going to post it.

Apparently, I'm a big chicken. There are just bigger issues and problems people have to deal with so the fear of people thinking I don't recognize that keeps those posts sittting there, waiting to be published. One day.

And, while we're talking about that, I realized it was an issue of fear when I read this by Travis Cottrell. Boy, it's easy to let others put us in that place of fear. I'm not proud of that fact, actually I despise it, but it's true. I'm working on it. Patience ....

Until I get there, I can unleash my Mom and my friend, Cathy. I got an ugly comment yesterday (I get many actually) and I decided to publish it, though I normally don't. Within a few hours I had comments sitting in my inbox from both my Mom and Cathy and let's just say, I could NEVER post them. I got a good laugh out of them, but I'm here to tell you, I have every confidence they will FIGHT for me :) Cracks me up.

It's possible those posts may never see the light of day. But, you know, I do love this blog. I do love the outlet it is for me and though I have felt somewhat restrained lately, I know I'll bounce back. My skin just hasn't been as thick as it once was for whatever reason.

Until then, I'll continue to say it's a choice whether you read or not. Seriously, if I offend you or make you sick or keep you scratching your head wondering what in the world I'm talking about ... know that I do that to my own self :)

Choose something different.

I'm fine with that.

And that way, I won't have to send my friends and family by your house in a black limo.

Oh, I kid. ;)

A Scary Few Minutes

2012-01-12T09:30:00.000-05:00

This morning the sun is shining and my girls went to school happy. Sometimes it's the little things.

It rained here all day yesterday. I spent the day straightening the house, baking, studying for a couple of lessons I have coming up and cooking dinner. I didn't even get my shower until an hour before we were to leave for church.

While in the shower, Emma came running to tell me my Mom was on the phone and it was an emergency. I had no idea but there was a tornado warning for our area. I got out quick, dressed and got online to check it out. The wind wasn't even blowing. Within a few minutes, the rain was pouring down and the wind was loud! I could hear the patio furniture blowing across the back deck.

The girls and I ran to the hall bathroom and covered ourselves with pillows. I started singing hymns really loud, so Emma & Olivia joined me.

I hate storms! And what's worse is I can't act like I do in front of my girls. I have to be brave and that stinks.

We had Eric on speaker phone while we were in the bathroom, listening to him pray and keep the girls calm. It literally passed within a few minutes.

I was SO relieved after those few short minutes.

A couple from our church wasn't so fortunate. Their house, as well as a few other homes, was leveled last night by the storm. My heart just breaks for them this morning. At a time when they normally would have been home, but by God's grace, they weren't. Please pray for them.

Emma asked me on the way to school why God would allow them to leave their house just so He could protect them, yet allow their home to be destroyed.

I really didn't have a good answer. All I could tell her was that everything God does is good and He will always mean 'good' for us. We have to trust His sovereignty and ways even when it doesn't make sense to us.

That's a tough one, isn't it?

Abide: Having a Quiet Time

2012-01-11T02:20:00.002-05:00

I'm just gonna start this post right off by saying I am absolutely not an expert on how to have a quiet time/devotion time with the Lord. Before an anonymous commenter sits down to type that dart from his/her computer, you should know that I KNOW that to be true. I will even go as far to say that what works for me right now may not even be what I'm found to be doing this time next year.

There is no right or wrong way to read or study the Scriptures. The point is make time to do so. And I think we have a lot to learn from each other and even then, we must discern what works for us personally and seek God on how He wants us to work that out in our day.

And He does want us to.

So, this is what works for me ....

1) Journaling. I start by journaling what is on my heart that day. For instance, I write or list things that I would take to God in prayer. Most of last year, my journaling was more of a quick prayer request list instead of what I've normally done in the past - which is journal as if I'm writing directly to the Lord and telling Him all my 'junk' ;)

Writing a detailed entry or a request list is simply a way for me to get my thoughts together, zero in on what is on my heart and position myself to hear from the Lord.
I also appreciate the gift that journaling gives someone like me. Where I would attempt to entertain the ridiculous notion that God has forgotten me, my journals are an absolute testament to His attention and His patience. So .... I'm back to pouring my heart out on paper. He is faithful!

2) Reading. I read from a devotional book (most times more than one) and let God lead me from there. Oftentimes I will read an entry in a devotional book, jot down the Scripture reference in my journal and read that entire passage in my Bible.

This is when I am trying to discern what God is speaking to me through His word. Is He giving me an answer to a request I have already mentioned? Is He promising me something for the days ahead? Is He giving me a confirmation on a subject He wants me to study further? Is He calling me to action on something particular for that day?

I always write down the Scripture references for that day in my journal. Sometimes, I will write out what I'm discerning the lesson to be. I love to write out what He speaks to me at that particular moment. It may be an answer He gave me for something that has been weighing on my heart or it may be what I learned specifically at that moment that I had never thought of before.

We all have many options to choose from in terms of devotion books but here are my (current) favorites ....

The One Year At His Feet Devotional by Chris Tiegreen I'm going through this one for the third year in a row. I bought the leather bound edition years ago and love it. I'm drawn to devotionals that make me think and dig a little deeper. This one does that. It's the one I first read about the new name we will receive on a white stone - (now, I'm thinking I never posted the rest of that story - oops).

Life Application Study Devotional by Tyndale

Instead of reading through my One Year Bible this year, I told Eric I wanted focus on the New Testament - concentrating on one book at a time. I found this devotional and am really enjoying it. It makes me dig deeper, which I love.

Those are the two I use for my quiet time. I, like many of you, keep devotion books around my house or in my car to browse throughout the day. For that I enjoy Tozer on the Almighty God, Jesus Calling and Streams in the Desert.

3) Prayer. I pray about what I've listed in my journal, what God brings to my mind and about what I've just read in His Word.

A year or so ago, I was struggling with staying focused during my prayer time. I have a tendency to let my mind wander to my grocery list or what carpool will look like for that day. While praying with Emma one night, she went through the simple A.C.T.S. method that I had learned so many years before. Something so simple and elementary, once again, changed my prayer life and now I can stay focused.

A - Adoration. Spending time acknowledging God, praising Him for who He is and cherishing His presence.

C - Confession. Asking God to search my heart and revealing those things I need to ask forgiveness for - creating in me a clean heart so that I can come before Him in prayer.

T - Thanksgiving - Giving thanks for ALL things.

S - Supplication - Giving my requests to the Lord and interceding for those around me. Praying the requests I have on my heart that day.

Some would argue that prayer should come first. I get that, but what works for me is to be aware of what is on my heart in the first place so I'm not so scattered before the Lord. So I can pay attention. Also, once I pray, I have been in His Word and He will usually bring to my mind what I've just read as comfort for what heavy needs I am bringing before Him.

I learned a long time ago that I make time to do what I want to do. I do what is important to me. I'm a big enough mess that I know I can't do without a quiet time. I need it like I need water and food.

Again, this is what works for me. My 'study' time is a separate thing altogether. One thing I'm sure of that God revealed to me in 2011 is that my study time (time preparing lessons, etc.) is not my devotion/quiet time. I may read something in my morning quiet time that I will want to study further, but the two are separate for me.

Remember, this is all about how I'm choosing to Abide with the Lord this year. It looks different for all of us, so there is no need for condemnation. However, God's Word is so powerful that none of our lives are functioning properly without it.

I'm learning so much yet have so much more to learn! He is patient and gracious.

If you have anything different that works for you, feel free to share in the comments what you do or link to a similar post.

I appreciate all of you! Let's Abide ....

I am the vine, you are the branches.

He who abides in Me,

and I in him, bears much fruit;

for without Me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

Daily Peek: Breakfast

2012-01-09T12:00:00.001-05:00

Is your mouth watering?

Mine is! :) :) :)

My Mom's Cherry Cheese Danish (original recipe here) .... but I made it into individual breakfast rolls. YUM-MO!

They didn't last long.

Okay, back to your day ....

1,000 Gifts ~ #169 - #190

2012-01-09T02:41:00.003-05:00

169. Having a husband that accepts me no matter what. Even in my crazy, irrational, petty moments, he is encouraging. And even laughs it off :)

170. Opening up a new journal for 2012 and excited about the possibilities. God is gracious to allow us to dream.

171. Finding Olivia writing in her journal. The best gift of grace was what it said ... that she is thankful for ME and loves spending time with me.

172. Receiving a huge answer to prayer. I'm reminded again how much God cares about the small details of my life.

173. Eric running with me eventhough he has to slow down to a shuffle.

174. Running with my brother. I never take this time for granted.

175. My Daddy calling me to tell me he has dinner ready for me to pick up on my way home.

176. My friend, Rita, buying me a gift .... just because.

177. A gift from my Secret Encourager. I certainly don't need the 'stuff' but I feel deep in my heart that she's praying.

178. A good doctor's report for someone I respect and admire.

179. Feeling encouraged, relieved and ready to face 2012!

180. Having a good discussion with my 8th grade girls' small group.

181. My sweet Emma auditioning for college Youth Choir. Not only did she make it, but the bigger gift will always be that she wanted to pray before she went in. I want my girls to always know that God is really all that matters.

182. My Emma's smile.

183. My Olivia's laugh.

184. Eric and the girls bringing me a 'treat' in bed. Chocolate ... the way to my heart.

185. Waking up Thursday and remembering I was saved on that day twenty years ago. God is gracious, merciful and good.

186. Time with my nieces.

187. A date night with Eric. We don't do this nearly enough. We need time to just talk without interruptions, so I was so grateful to have this time.

188. An amazing church service Sunday night. Amazing is the most accurate description I can give.

189. Emma crying on the way home from church while talking about the service. She went on and on and on about how good God is to her and how she wants to do a better job serving Him.

190. Watching my sweet Olivia from the rearview mirror as Emma was talking. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she whispers how God is good to her.

All Grace.

Thomas Edison invented all the good stuff

2012-01-05T19:48:00.002-05:00

I usually blog in chronological order but with the holidays and our cruise, everything got out of whack. I have a few pictures I want to share and little things I want to remember so I decided on a random post.

** We went to a wedding on New Year's Eve in Blowing Rock. B E A U T I F U L. Back story: There is a lady in our church that is overly gracious to all the children. She's also Emma's Sunday School teacher this year. We are fortunate that she sits on our same pew and Olivia has sat with her since she was old enough to sit up on her own. Mrs. Jeannie brings a bag full of activities for her every Sunday. She is SO kind to our family. Her daughter got married Saturday and we were honored to be invited.

It was a small wedding in the most beautiful old house that is actually a spa. This spa. These ladies played hymns on violin and the music was wonderful!

At the last minute, my girls stood as flower girls.

Well, Olivia basically walked the aisle and straight to her Daddy's lap because she can't be bothered with people looking at her. Emma, however, is always up for a little production :)

My girls with Mrs. Jeannie. We love her!

** Emma auditioned for our local college's Youth Choir ... and made it! She was SO nervous auditioning but did great. I am SO proud of her!

** But maybe even more proud that she actually requested and ate her first livermush-on-a-bun-with-slaw-and-mustard sandwich.

Oh, I kid. I'm more proud of the audition :)

** God answered a huge prayer for me this week concerning the SSMT Celebration in Houston in a few weeks. I'm really looking forward to it (especially now!).

** My girls are fighting a little less since school started back. Fighting may not be an accurate word. You can just always tell when they're tired of one another and make smart comments when the other one speaks. One particular conversation made me laugh, though. I was making toasted cheese sandwiches for Emma and her friend when Emma said, "You'll love this toasted cheese sandwich. Actually we invented the toasted cheese sandwich". Olivia looked at her, rolled her eyes and said in her most disgusted, dramatic voice "Emma! You have no idea what you're talking about! Everybody knows Thomas Edison invented the toasted cheese sandwich!"

Ha! I usually just stay quiet :) I mean I don't want to argue with everybody.

A Dream Vacation ~ The FINAL Chapter

2012-01-05T09:47:00.003-05:00

I keep meaning to wrap up our vacation posts, but it takes so long to upload pictures, I keep putting it off. But, today's the day.

Part one.
Part two.

After spending the day in St. Thomas, we pulled out of port to finally have calm seas.

We spent the next day in St. Maarten / St. Martin.

We decided to rent Jeeps so we could find our own beach and explore the island.

The men negotiating the price of the Jeeps and who to rent from .... (stressful)

We had to put gas in both Jeeps just as soon as we got them. Gas was over $10 a gallon! I couldn't believe it. Then, I saw the name of the gas station ....

Yep. Seems about right.

We found a really nice beach at a West*n Resort. The Resort was so nice with a pool, snack bar and restrooms. The people were so nice to let us stay there.

My only concern was how rough the water was! Here we're all trying to decide if we should stay and if the girls could swim in the ocean. Once we found the pool and jacuzzi, they were happy to use those instead :)

After staying at the beach for awhile, we decided to explore the island ....

Then it was time to board the ship again :)

The rest of the pictures are from the rest of our days at sea ....

These ladies went with us. Each one is very special to our family. We flew with them to and from the port. On this particular night on the ship (a formal night), we sat down for dinner and Olivia whispered to me, "Mom! Have you seen Joan? She is BEAUTIFUL!" (Joan is the one on the left.) Olivia just couldn't stop talking about how beautiful they all looked dressed up. She LOVES all of these ladies. We all do :)

Eric and Emma danced every single night in the Atrium. Emma LOVED this!

The girls had bunk beds and would take turns sleeping on the bottom. They both loved this little 'reading nook' as Olivia called it.

See how calm the seas are? Peaceful :)

On these days, I was especially thankful to be away from cell phones, schedules, computers, etc. That's the very best part of a cruise!

The girls spent two full days doing nothing but going up and down water slides. They were exhausted but had so much fun!

The second day, Olivia would take a lot of breaks :)

Some of our crew trying the slide ...

Rita ... screaming all the way down.

I was pressured into trying it. Not bad ... I actually did a few times, as well as race Rita on the middle slides. I won. :)

Emma spent some of her time during the week at Camp C*rnival. There was a breakdance group there called The Fun Force that taught the kids dances all week. On the final day, they put on a show for us with all the kids. Ofcourse, Emma loved this part. She had a great time with them!

So, that's it. A DREAM Vacation.

Peace out ....

Abide

2012-01-04T08:41:00.001-05:00

A New Year brings the promise of a clean slate, new beginnings, new goals and an invitation to do things different .... perhaps better.

I spoke with my 8th grade girls' small group yesterday about Resolve. What it actually takes to stick with the goals we set and the convictions we have. An 8th grade girls' goals look a bit different than my own. For instance, I'm not so concerned with homework (although I do have to be disciplined in preparing lessons) and the subject of boys? Well, I have mine :) I guess I could turn that into my marriage and being a better wife, and honestly, I can always do better in that department.

But, as I was teaching, I noticed something similar no matter what age we are. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing and left to our own devices, we won't choose anything of value. We'll continue to do what we've always done and stay complacent, missing the Sanctification the Lord so desires to work in us.

I'm not really one to make resolutions, though I am ever-evaluating what's working and what's not when it comes to my relationship with the Lord.

At the beginning of 2011, I chose a word to focus on during the entire year in terms of my relationship with the Lord. That word was Listen.

I needed to hear from the Lord on several different issues and I realized I was doing all the talking and not being still enough to really listen and discern what He wanted. That one word changed my daily quiet time in 2011. I studied differently. I talked less. I waited a little more patiently on His voice.

And I made some mistakes. A lot, actually.

I would glean so much from God by opening His Word and diligently looking for His confirmation in all things around me .... music, sermons, conversations, articles. I loved the process.

Yet, I still found myself going through weeks where I was so busy (doing good things) that I wasn't taking the time to hear from the Lord. I would make important life decisions without waiting on that confirmation I had once relied on. That's an open invitation for outside influences to shape our decisions and desires and has left me in a mess more than I care to recall.

So, when 2012 rolled around and I began to ask God what one word He wanted me to focus on in the upcoming year, I heard quickly "ABIDE".

Abide: to wait for; to endure without yielding;

to remain stable or fixed in a state;

to continue in a place; to conform to.

And He confirmed it in His Word ...

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself,

unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me,

and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered;

and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.

If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire,

and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit;

so you will be My disciples."

John 15:4-8

So, that will be my focus for 2012. Abide.

Abiding in Him .... because apart from Him, I can do nothing.

I'm going to have a weekly series, posted on Wednesdays, about the lessons God is teaching me as I learn to Abide in Him. Next Wednesday, I'll post about my quiet time and how I study. This seems to be the #1 question I get asked and though I certainly don't have all the answers, I'll share what works for me. I love to hear from other women in terms of what works for them. We can all learn from each other.

Another topic God is speaking specifically to my heart about right now is fear. Now that may be a month long series - ha! Simply put, I found myself saying out loud "Fear is my biggest issue!" and it hit me how powerful my words are and how they were causing my heart to stay in that bondage. I'm working through that now with the Lord and once I spend more time letting that resonate with myself, I'll share more with you.

Until then ...

Some Resolve

2012-01-03T08:54:00.001-05:00

I have a confession.

I have been in a bad mood.

(I know some friends that are nodding their heads in agreement.)

I feel there are some very good reasons for my mood, not the least of which is the fact I had a small breakdown after our cruise.

I'll spare everyone the details of what I call my 'crazy' period (except for those few friends nodding their heads in agreement - they got the full detailed story - you're welcome, friends), but let's just say I haven't been myself. Add in a few discouraging things that happened and I was fighting the urge to pack up everything and move to a different state.

Yet here I sit. I made it. I'm better. And I'm happy :)

In other words, I needed our holiday break in the worst way.

I needed some time where no one outside of my home was depending on me. Some time when my toughest decision was what cookie I would eat for breakfast and what pajamas I would wear all day.

It was bliss.

We did do some really fun things. We had my nieces over to spend the night. The next day, we added two more girls. Seven girls in the house!

The only right thing to do when there are seven girls in the house is to make sweets :)

Regular brownies wouldn't do. My niece, Taylor, kicked it up a notch and added M&Ms and chocolate chips.

And top it off with hot chocolate :)

We had a Wii Just Dance competition.

Actually, I think they were just going to play, but I am a tad competitive so I kicked that up a notch .... drawing for positions and making formal brackets.

Yes, I lost the first round. What?

We should've had a cheerleading competition. They can't touch this ...

Haha!

So, a New Year and a clean slate. An opportunity to resolve to do things different ... better. An opportunity to be intentional about enjoying one another and pouring into relationships that matter.

The cure for a bad mood :)

I couldn't have said it better myself ...

2012-01-01T16:44:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

Lifetime Friends

2011-12-30T10:34:00.001-05:00

I am enjoying every last second of our break. We are staying up really late at night (though the girls still get up way too early), eating like we don't care and staying in PJs all day.

Olivia asked last night what day they go back to school and I refused to talk about it. Which spurred the usual conversation about "wouldn't you girls love to be homeschooled?". Emma always answers (a little too quickly) "NO!"

She still thinks we wouldn't do anything but play all day.

She's probably right :)

The best thing that happened this week is I got to see Cathy and her girls!

(Checking her Facebook ... that I was happy to 'hack' later :)

Cathy and I have been friends since 3rd grade. I SOOOO wish she lived near me. Her husband is in the military (currently in Afgh*nistan) so all of our married lives, she has lived at least 5 hours away.

(Olivia, Maura, Emma, Casey)

I love it when our girls get to play together .... I love it even more that they have such a good time and love being together.

Casey is a cheerleader at her school. She was working on her jumps in the living room so Eric could give her some pointers. I don't know why she didn't ask me for help. I have been known to do a mean toe touch and herkey.

And at 41 .... I had to prove I still can ...

Just a herkey. The toe touch would have killed me.

Because it's possible the above jump had me icing my ankles and neck later that night.

Possibly.

I love it that in all the pictures Eric took of me doing this jump (there were 4 ~ I was trying to master my form), Olivia is sitting behind me never looking up .... as if she isn't phased at all by her Mama trying weird stuff.

Maybe she's used to it :)

Anyway ... Casey spent the night that night and we all met each other the next day to go to the movies.

Never enough time spent together, though!!!

Cathy, Maura & Casey ~ We miss you already!

The Christmas Re-Cap

2011-12-26T20:17:00.001-05:00

I spent the day after Christmas doing what I do every single year - taking down all the decorations. I love all the twinkle lights and the feeling of nostalgia, but every year on December 26th, I wake with one thing on my mind ... get it all down quick!

I also take advantage of Eric being off work so he can help me :)

We had a wonderful Christmas.
Eric was off work Thursday and Friday which was SO NICE. He helped me finish a lot of last minute things that needed to get done.

On Friday morning, all I had to do was bake. One of my past Sunday School students, Arialle, came to visit. I should have gotten a picture. I always love catching up with her.

Then, on Friday night, our friends Rita, Dale, Matthew, Katie Beth and Jordyn came over for dinner and games. We don't get to see Matthew that often so I was thankful we had that time with him.

Saturday morning (Christmas Eve), I met Rita and Katie Beth at the college for a run. I told myself I could run off the massive amounts of sugar I would consume over the next two days but that would have been near impossible. I ate a lot, y'all.

That afternoon, my friend Kurt came over for a few hours. We've been friends since third grade, but only see each other at Christmas. I always love catching up with him.

We went to my parents' that night. I gave myself a talking-to before we left to go to their house because I didn't want to cry.

I guess now is a good time to post about my little brother leaving in June for the Navy.

Okay, that's about all I can write about it at this point because I'll get sad. I'm happy - yet sad. Anyway ... enough of that.

I did take a gazillion pictures there and threatened anyone who dared complain about it. I'll just post a few ...

If Olivia wouldn't cry so much over John Patrick leaving, maybe I would be okay.

Actually, that's probably not true.

Todd, April, JP, me, Eric

We played our go-to Christmas Eve game ... Pictionary. Remarkably, everyone was polite.

Well ... polite is a strong word ... let's just say the game gets very competitive.

Not that I have anything to do with that.

That's my Daddy on the left. This picture cracks me up because there is no telling what was going through his mind here. He dreams up some interesting drawings .... and many we can't share with the public :)

Here I am getting ready to draw a stick-figure masterpiece, no doubt.

Dawn (married to my cousin, Neil) and I started reminiscing about old times ... like when we used to work together and I got so angry with her one day, I locked the door and we started fighting.

I'm not kidding.

It looked something like this ...

I may frame this one :)

It all worked out, though ;)

We had a great time laughing and talking ... leaving later than we normally do on Christmas Eve.

The girls were so tired and ready to get in bed. They always sleep on our bedroom floor Christmas Eve so they don't catch Santa in the house.

They got up SO early Christmas Day .... 5:00AM! The oddest thing was we were all so tired that after opening gifts, they actually asked to go back to bed. So we did! And woke up in time to get ready for church.

After church, we went to Eric's parents to exchange gifts with his family. Then, we went back to my parents'.

We had a great weekend! We still have some fun things to do this week and plan to enjoy another week off from school.

FOUR Days Until Christmas

2011-12-21T08:40:00.000-05:00

I used to be the girl who started her Christmas shopping in September, baked goodies the week before Christmas and had all her wrapping done when the tree went up so it would look even prettier.

I don't know that girl anymore.

This year I, without consciously meaning to, decided to wait until after I took a (December) vacation to begin. What I didn't count on was my kids getting sick and throwing a wrench into my plans.

Emma started getting sick Saturday night right before her recital. I missed church on Sunday and had her home with me Monday and Tuesday (my last-minute-frantic-shopping-with-no-kids-days).

Then, just as expected, Olivia came home sick yesterday.

And boy, oh boy, is she some kind of patient.

She came in the door from school walking like she could barely put one foot in front of the other, wearing her most pitiful sick face ever and went straight to her drawing board to write us all a note ....

I love the 'From: Sick Olivia'

Don't ever think this is not a house of DRAMA.

All I can do at this point is laugh.

Rita offered to finish my shopping for me. The only problem is I still have no idea what I'm getting some people so I need to actually shop.

Everything will get done, I'm sure.

I think Eric will be glad when I can get out of the house too. I keep dreaming up odd things for him to do.

With the light shining on the nativity outside, I saw how dirty my windows were. Eric humored me and went outside to help me wash them.

Actually, he went outside while I decided to take pictures of him.

This last picture cracks me up. He was trying to make me laugh.

It worked.

He gets off work early today and then I'm out of here ;)

A Dream Vacation - Part Two

2011-12-20T08:49:00.001-05:00

Part One is here.

Warning ... the post contains a lot of pictures!

We spent the second full day at sea. Very rocky seas. Rita and I got up early to run around the track .... on the 12th floor .... in the wind that was evidently making the seas rough.

It wasn't the smartest thing we've ever done :)

The pools and waterslides were closed because it was just too rough, so we spent the day just hanging out on deck. We were told we would arrive in St. Thomas late the next morning because of the weather, but to our surprise, we woke up Tuesday morning and realized we were approaching land. We all hurried to the top deck to see us approaching St. Thomas.

It was beautiful!

The boat came to escort us into port.

The girls got tired of waiting to get off the ship .....

.... so they rode the waterslides to pass the time.

Then, it was time for St. Thomas! We were a tad excited about getting off the ship :)

We quickly caught a bus? thingy to take us to Magen's Bay. A very fast open bus. I spotted some scripture and felt at ease.

I decided these were prayers you can focus on while they are driving. You need them - ha!

Waving goodbye for a few hours to our home on the sea :)

On our way to Magen's Bay ....

We made it!

I think we enjoyed this day the most because we could relax and enjoy the water. The water was so calm .... like a lake .... and the girls could swim and play without us worrying about them.

Some of my favorite pictures from the beach ...

These little guys were running free on the beach.

Yes .... creepy.

Sadly, it was time to leave and head back to the ship.

Looking down on Magen's Bay ...

We got back on the ship in time for dinner. This is when I made a comment that I was having trouble seeing my salad. I kept saying it was a 'little blurry'. What I didn't know then is the patch for motion sickness I was wearing was blurring my vision. It only got worse and by the end of the cruise, I could hardly see anything in front of me. What started out as funny became annoying and scary.

But, thankfully, when we pulled away from St. Thomas, the ocean was calm. It was actually pleasant to be on the ship. I slept like a baby that night. Which was a blessing because the next day, we would be in St. Maarten/St. Martin.

More to come ...

Scripture Memory ~ Verse #24!

2011-12-19T10:35:00.000-05:00

The final verse of the year. Whoa.

I have to say I'm having a little trouble with the last several verses. My memory is shot. Seriously. I haven't even remembered my last 2 years of hair appointments.

I'm not even joking.

Though memorizing scripture is different for me, I still have some work to do before the SSMT Celebration in Houston.

My 24th verse is ....

"Study to show thyself approved unto God,

a workman that needeth not to be ashamed,

rightly dividing the word of truth."

2 Timothy 2:15

Let the cramming begin! :)

1,000 Gifts ~ #153 - #168

2011-12-19T02:06:00.009-05:00

153. Olivia running back in the house Tuesday morning to grab her Bible.

She wanted to read it before school. She wanted to keep it beside her seat in the van to hold her place until she could read it again that afternoon.

154. Everyone piling in the van in pjs to drive around and look at Christmas lights.

155. Watching the girls' Christmas program at school.

156. Emma singing the most beautiful solo of Go Tell it On the Mountain. Wow. So, so proud!

157. An unexpected breakfast with Eric at Panera. Just the two of us - a treat!

158. Running with JP Thursday morning and catching up since I've been on vacation. I was suddenly hit with the reality that he won't be around in the near future (more on that later) and that hit me harder than I expected. That could be why I was so teary that day. God's grace is what I'm counting on .... for both of us.

159. My Mom coming for dinner Thursday night.

160. Mom staying after dinner and helping us assemble teacher gifts.

161. Eric finishing work just in time to meet me at school for Olivia's class Christmas party.

162. Seeing my old coworkers at school. I miss them!

163. God putting another person from my past in my path. He continues to do that and every time I'm reassured how much He has forgiven me. Grace.

164. Putting out Christmas lights and a neighbor telling us they've been looking for the manger scene to be displayed. Every little thing is truly a witness.

165. My girls playing in their piano/violin recital.

This was Olivia's first and she did fantastic!

166. Witnessing (again) Emma's heart for those around her. Without any of us knowing, she dedicated her violin performance (The First Noel) to our friend, Allyson. We were shocked!

Allyson plays the violin as well and encourages Emma in everything she does. Emma thinks so much of her and it blesses me so much that she would take her time to attend Emma's recitals.

167. The girls have made a prayer jar for counting down to Christmas. (Something our Christmas Angel told us to do :) We draw out two names to pray for every night and it blesses my heart to see who all they've included so far .... grandparents, the pastors & their wives, kids at school that aren't always nice :)

168. Eric always knowing when I need encouragement. He made me go for a quick run with him late Saturday afternoon because he swears running helps my moods - ha! He is truly a gift of grace!

"But he giveth more grace ....."

James 4:6

Some Christmas Truth

2011-12-18T12:31:00.002-05:00

I spent the morning peeking in all the homes at Nester's Christmas Tour of Homes. Well, not all, but a lot of them. I love to see how everyone decorates, but I'm always left wondering if it's true.

Know what I mean?

All the glitz and tinsel and pretty pictures, yet not one comment that resembles "I'm just not feeling it this year".

And surely there is someone that feels that way, right?

I can't narrow down the reason why, but that is exactly how my attitude has been.

We went on a relaxing vacation then came home and were thrown into all the things I dislike about Christmas. The shopping, meaningless obligations and hurriedness. I shut down every single time our lives get like that.

Though Eric was 'in town' at night, we didn't get to see him much. Some things happened earlier in the week that made me want to run and hide. I went shopping 2 days and couldn't get my thoughts together enough to accomplish anything. Instead I wandered around stores distracted and came home empty-handed.

On a whim, my Mom came over Thursday night and had dinner with the girls and me. Then she stayed to help us prepare teacher gifts.

I cried.

I cried while she was here and after she left just because I was so glad to have her company.

I know. You're thinking you want to be my friend. I am a joy, after all.

I did start to feel a little more myself yesterday. We spent the day hanging out, cleaning the house and finally hanging some lights up outside. Olivia helped her Daddy 'decorate' the front porch and insisted on colored lights on the bushes. She was SO happy about them.

And, I felt my self exhale and my anxiety let up.

All I ever want is for us to be together and actually have time to enjoy one another. With no distractions. Nowhere else we have to go. Just time to focus on what's important and the things we want to do.

That's my truth. And, I've never figured out a way to hide that in my attitude when life gets crazy.

This week, we're committed to doing the things that bring us peace. For me, that means slowing down and being present.

I'm looking forward to it.

A Dream Vacation - Part One

2011-12-17T10:43:00.001-05:00

Before I start sharing about our vacation, I need to stress that we all had a GREAT time. It was relaxing, indulgent, peaceful and I told the others dozens of times "I do NOT want to go home!" I say that because there were a few things that could have left me never wanting to take a cruise again - ha! But, it's all good and we would definitely do it again.

Our friends, Dale and Rita, have tried to talk us into a cruise for years. I always said "No!". I was afraid of not having good weather or the boat being rocky. I laugh when I think about that now because let me just say, the first 3 days and nights were SO rocky and rough, I was considering throwing myself overboard.

Or Rita.

Whichever would have worked.

It was BAD.

Fifteen minutes after we pulled out of port in Florida, I felt it. I shrugged it off remembering Dale told me I would feel the boat move a little at first and then I would get used to it. But, the rocking didn't settle down. And, it was loud. At night, we would lie in the bed and the waves outside our window would roar.

Eerie.

We arrived in Bahamas Sunday morning. I won't lie. At this point, it was good to get off that ship!

We went to the straw market.

This picture of Emma looking at our friend, Scottie makes me laugh. This is how she looks at him most of the time (trying to figure out what he's doing or saying :)

Ofcourse, Eric spotted a Starbucks. No shock there.

Olivia fell in love with this handbag. She wanted something to put her kleenex in :)

We took a ferry to Atlantis.

This guy jumped up in the middle of our boat and started screaming. Scared me to death - ha! He was giving us information about the island. For tips, ofcourse :)

Atlantis ....

After walking around a little, we made our way back to the ship.

It was time to head out to the rocky seas :( Sadly, the water was still unbelievably rough.

By the way, someone on our trip wasn't bothered in the least.

Olivia was happy doing anything! Even staying in our cabin :)

That night was our first 'formal' night for dinner and Emma was looking SO forward to getting dressed up. When it was time for dinner, the boat was rocking so much, you literally found yourself grabbing hold of a railing or column in order to keep your balance. It was crazy.

And that's when Emma got sick. Right before we went into the dining room for dinner. I felt so bad for her. She thought she was 'together' enough to go in the dining room anyway. We were there only a few minutes before we had to leave again. But, Eric snapped a few pictures.

I think I sat in that chair for 60 seconds before I had to take Emma out again. I'm pretending that roll tasted like lobster - ha!

Scottie and Michelle

Rita and Dale

With everything going on, we were still so happy to be on vacation. We spent the next day at sea while heading to St. Thomas .... otherwise known as 'the day I lost my sight'.

Stay tuned ....

The Comparison Game

2011-12-15T11:40:00.001-05:00

Hi Everyone!

Yes, I am back from vacation. It has taken me a few days to get myself back on track, but I do have a lot to share. Later ...

However today, you can find me by clicking here to visit Leigh's blog. This subject is near and dear to me since I believe it's what keeps us women bound and discouraged. Comparing ourselves to one another will leave us empty every single time. I am so honored Leigh allowed me to share my heart on her blog. Check it out.

I appreciate you!

I can BELIEVE Him

2011-12-08T03:54:00.002-05:00

Originally posted 5/27/09. I'm posting again because I seem to 'live' here. Maybe you know the place? The place where you think you're full of belief and then realize you're consumed with unbelief? God is confirming some things for me .... He and I are about to go on a serious ride concerning my unbelief.

So lately I've been thinking of the impossible. You know those things you hope for that seem out of reach, those dreams you have that seem unattainable, those relationships in your life that are just HARD no matter what. The impossible things.

If someone asks me if God can do anything, without hesitation, I answer, "YES!" and do my best to convince them of it.

But in the still, quiet moments when it's just me (and Him, if I let Him in on the conversation) I confess to Him that I don't see the 'how'. I confess that in my assessment, it makes perfect sense that if He could, He would have already. That's when I get a little too big for my britches and think I know too much of what He wants to accomplish.

When I listen long enough or look around enough, there are too many situations that in my eyes would seem a million times better if He would just step in and do what He can do. Certain situations look to me as if He's going to need an awful lot of help (people agreeing with Him). I understand (to some degree) the whole concept of waiting and how important that time is to mold me into the person God wants me to be. I get that. And, I try to discern what He wants of me during that time.

But, other times I don't get it (I know, not a pretty confession - but real).

One of my very favorite passages in God's Word is Isaiah 43. It was verses 18 & 19 that I first memorized this year and I love it for those verses alone. But, for the past week I have been dissecting the entire chapter.

I could write post after post on what I'm learning (will more than likely become a SS lesson), but am struck this morning by something I feel God is wanting me to hear loud and clear.

Verses 15-19 says:

"I am the Lord, your Holy One, the creator of Israel, your King. Thus saith the Lord, which maketh a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters; Which bringeth forth the chariot and horse, the army and the power; they shall lie down together, they shall not rise: they are extinct, they are quenched as tow. Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing: now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert".

One cool thing I have found in God's Word is whenever God begins spouting off WHO He is and WHAT He has done, you will always see a promise follow. In other words "I am the Lord, your Holy One, the creator of Israel, your King" could be followed with .... "see who I am! I am getting ready to promise you something that you can BELIEVE in - and, don't you ever doubt it! .... not only did I make a way in the sea and a path in the waters (verse 16 - referencing Exodus 14:21-22 when He parted the Red Sea), but I will make a river in the desert (verse 19) - I can stop the water, OR pour the water on the thirsty (Isaiah 44:3) - there is nothing too hard for me!".

I felt confirmation this morning and heard Him telling me, "Deidre, don't you EVER doubt what I CAN do and I will never need another person's help to accomplish it! You can BELIEVE me!"

I still may not understand the 'why' and I believe He's okay with me confessing that to Him. The important thing is that I trust Him enough to realize talking with Him is a 'safe place' to pour out my heart. Even if I have to confess it to Him each and every morning. In doing so, He'll give me comfort through His Word that He's still here and He's still able.

Has Someone Seen the Life I Planned?

2011-12-06T03:01:00.003-05:00

Originally posted 11/20/08. Would love to hear from you in the comments!)

Okay, so I have a question for you .... and, you can answer anonymously if you wish. I've been thinking about something that will probably turn into a Sunday School lesson later, but I thought this would be a neat place to ask my question.

I know I've mentioned on this blog before about finding my 'life plan' in our basement a few years ago. I think I had to write this plan in high school. I had written where I would go to college, what I would major in, when I would marry, who I would marry, how many children we would have (which included names), and where I would live.

I found my list not long after having a conversation with one of my neighbors at the time. I was asking her if she wished to have more children. She answered me by saying, "Yes, but I can't yet because I'm not to that place in my plan yet".

What???

Her husband rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, we have to follow everything by that plan she made years ago and so far, we have followed it exactly ".

She planned at what age she would get engaged, what age she would marry, have children and so on.

I was blown away and that's what prompted me to search for mine that I made in high school.

I remember my neighbor asking me (almost accusingly) if I hadn't made goals for myself and tried to follow them. I had to think a moment about my response.

Setting goals for myself? Surely that's a good thing to do, but something about that at this time in my life seems so self-centered .... not relying on the change that God will inevitably bring as He draws me closer to Him and His will.

It reminds me of this poem by Beth Moore. I quote the first line as a joke sometimes, but I love the reminder of the words .....

The Life I Planned

from Things Pondered

Has someone seen the life I planned?

It seems it's been misplaced

I've looked in every corner

It's lost without a trace.

I've found one I don't recognize

Things missing that were dear

Promises I'd hoped to keep

And dreams I'd dreamed aren't here.

Faces I had planned to see

Hands I planned to hold

Now absent in the pictures

Not the way I told.

Has someone seen the life I planned?

Did it get thrown away?

God took my hand from searching

Then I heard him say,

"Child, your ears have never heard

Your eyes have never seen

Eternal plans I have for you

Are more than you could dream.

You long to walk by sight

But, I'm teaching eyes to see

I know what I am doing

'Til then you must believe."

He's done so much, I felt ashamed

To know He heard my moans

To think I'd trade in all He's done

For plans made on my own.

I wept over His faithfulness

And how He'd proved Himself

How He'd gone beyond my dreams

And said to Him myself,

"No, my ears have never heard

My eyes have never seen

Eternal plans you have for me

Are more than I could dream.

Yes, I long to walk by sight

But you're teaching eyes to see

You know what You are doing

'Til then, I must believe."

I felt His great compassion

Mercy unrestrained

He let me mourn my losses

And showed to me my gains.

I offered Him my future

And released to Him my past

I traded in my dreams

For a plan He said would last.

I get no glimpse ahead

No certainties at all

Except the presence of the ONE

Who will not let me fall.

Are you also searching

For a life you planned yourself?

Have you looked in every corner?

Have you looked on every shelf?

Child, your ears have never heard

Your eyes have never seen

Eternal plans He has for you

Are more than you could dream.

Perhaps you long to walk by faith

But He's teaching eyes to see

He knows what He is doing

Child, step out and believe.

So, I'm curious ..... what did you plan for your life? Are you living that plan or have you taken a different course? I realize seeking the Lord while making goals for our lives can be a very healthy thing and a way to pray about being in His will .... it's when we do it without Him that makes it all in vain.

So, come out of hiding and leave a comment on this one .... tell me if you're right on target with all you thought your life would be ....

1,000 Gifts ~ #137 - #152

2011-12-05T03:12:00.002-05:00

137. Eric commuting safely back and forth to work this week. Traveling in the pouring rain and getting little sleep. Grateful he is safe.

138. A tiny breakthrough with my 8th grade girls' small group. I'll take it.

139. Lunch with a sweet friend.

140. Hearing clearly from the Lord .... careful to discern and knowing His will.

141. Olivia 'faking' not feeling well just so she can fall asleep in my bed. She still clutches her blankey and dog (Chicker) and sucks her tongue. Precious sight.

142. Olivia helping me cook dinner.

143. Emma handing out her phone number to a friend at school in case he needs help with homework :)

144. Olivia gasping with excitement every time she hears a reference to God or Jesus in a Christmas song.

145. Decorating and reminding my girls again Who the real gift is.

146. People at church who love on my kids. So many! We are surrounded by so many godly influences.

147. Friends at church that continually bless my girls with gifts. Never necessary. Their thoughtfulness astounds me.

148. An unexplainable happiness under a great deal of stress. Only Jesus!

149. Christmas candles.

150. A church staff that goes beyond what's necessary to help me with Women's Ministry. So grateful for you!

151. God's provision.

152. I am God's Chosen.

"According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world,

that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself,

according to the good pleasure of his will,

To the praise of the glory of his grace,

wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved"

Ephesians 1:4-6

Friday Favorites - Christmas Edition

2011-12-02T03:48:00.002-05:00

I love this time of year .... particularly if I have my act together and can enjoy it. I won't pretend that's the case right now, but I will say that I am better than I have been :)

Some things that I am enjoying ....

(1) A 'given' for me .... (Vanilla Bean Noel from Bath and B0dy)

(2) Christmas music. Some of my favorites ....

Point of Grace

Travis Cottrell

A Charlie Brown Christmas

(3) Our Christmas Angel.

I have found that we focus more on Christ when we are serving and giving to others. You may have heard of 'Elf on a Sh*lf" ? (By the way, I've never been one to tell my girls they better be good because S*nta is watching. Jesus wants us to please Him everyday, right?) Anyway, this works the same way, but the children have to find the angel every day to find out how they can serve Jesus. I love it. I know we'll have a lot of fun with this!

(4) My mantel.

We have new stockings. Eric and Emma gave me a lot of flack over the new ones (they love the old ones!). So, Olivia and I banished their stockings to the left side, while we buddied up on the right. We call the left side 'the stocking haters'. :) haha

(5) This printable.

Probably my favorite part of the mantel. I simply printed it and stuck it in a frame.

Do you search for free printables online? I have a slight obsession with them :) I also have this one framed on my kitchen counter.

(6) St*rbucks Peppermint M0cha

I'm NOT a coffee drinker. However, this time of year I am drawn in by Pumpkin Spice L*ttes and Peppermint Mochas. I even plan a meal around them. It's true.

(7) My sweet peeps.

Probably my favorite thing about Christmas :)

Scripture Memory ~ Verses #21, #22 & #23

2011-12-01T05:27:00.002-05:00

I've been really slack about posting my memory verses on my blog. So, this is a little 'catch-up'. I can't believe we're on verse #23! Only one more to go!

Verse #21 (November 1st) ....

"When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back:

this I know; for God is for me"

Psalm 56:9

Verse #22 (November 15th) ....

"I sought the LORD, and he heard me,

and delivered me from all my fears."

Psalm 34:4

Verse #23 (December 1st) ....

"Your words were found, and I did eat them;

and your word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of my heart:

for I am called by your name, O LORD God of hosts."

Jeremiah 15:16

I love the last verse. I think of it often when I read something and immediately want to share it with someone else or think another person needs to hear it. God often reminds me I need to digest (eat) the word He has given me first because He no doubt has a specific reason for allowing me to see it. I love that!

A List About Nothing

2011-11-30T10:32:00.000-05:00

My week has already left me feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone. It has been crazy!

Crazy with really odd things.

1. Emma had over 4 hours of homework Monday night. OVER FOUR HOURS.

I'm going to confess something. She rarely has more than 30 minutes on any given night and most of the time, she does it in the car on the way home from school. Part of her homework is reading. Since she does that anyway, we never consider that 'homework'. But, Monday ..... It was insane.

And because we're planning a trip very soon, I cringe to think of what her makeup work is going to be. Bless her heart. I always feel like they are bursting with energy from being in school all day and having to sit still and be quiet. It broke my heart she had to do more of that when she got home.

Oh, and last night was more of the same. :(

2. Olivia decided to go ahead and get her makeup work out of the way. She sat beside Emma and did every single page of the work she will miss while we're on vacation.

FOUR HOURS.

Whose children are these?

3. I have managed to squeeze in a few games of Hangman with Snow White.

I've learned that Snow White knows some pretty difficult words ..... like ridiculous and talkative.

Also, Snow White is clever. She kept telling me the next word would be hard. I kept guessing and got hung. Guess what the word was? It was H A R D.

Genius.

4. Emma has managed to forget her lunchbox every morning this week.

It's only Wednesday.

I'm guessing she won't forget it tomorrow because I'm refusing to take it to her today.

Relax. She ordered a sandwich. She just won't have a snack, stuff to go with the sandwich and a drink.

I know. I'm cruel.

And tired of running back and forth to school.

Especially since I pack her lunch and put it by the door for her to grab on her way out every morning. She forgot it this morning because she ran back upstairs to put in her must-have jingle bell earrings.

Priorities.

5. I quickly decorated our house for Christmas last night. The quickest time ever. Our tree was already up so that helped. The truth is, I didn't put out most of what I normally do. I didn't bring in any Christmas bins from the garage so no one could oooohhh and aaaahhh over past decorations. I kept sneaking outside to look through them myself and only brought in a few things.

Simplify!

It works for me.

And I don't think anyone will notice the difference.

We're trying something new with the girls this year to keep our attention on the real reason for the season. So, this works for all of us, actually.

I did want to talk about my testimony post. I'm working on a post that will hopefully answer some of your questions. If you left me with a way to get in touch with you, I've already done that but several of you had questions but didn't leave an email address. I want to answer you and feel your questions are very important. Stay tuned ....

Have a great Wednesday, Y'all. We're almost to the end :)

1,000 Gifts ~ #119 - #136

2011-11-28T02:35:00.002-05:00

"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me,

and he prepares the way

so that I may show him the salvation of God"

Psalm 50:23

I am more and more aware of God's gifts of grace around me each day. I hear it in my girls' laughs, an unexpected check in the mail, when I wake up each day given the privilege to live life on this earth again with my family.

I possibly see them more prevalent in struggles and trials. The way He sustains me.

My 'count' of these gifts seems a little shallow ~ only because He bestows so much more than I post here. I think the point is to be more purposeful in recognizing His hand.

And, I am ....

119. My girls singing.

120. A day at home to clean and listen to Travis Cottrell .... "Thanks be to Our God" on repeat.

121. Watching my girls bake by themselves.

122. Olivia getting so tickled over a Christmas song. She was laughing long after I put her to bed. Funny.

123. A rainy day and breakfast for dinner.

124. Decorating the Christmas tree, reminiscing over all the handmade ornaments.

125. Christmas traditions my girls already recognize.

126. A peaceful Thanksgiving.

127. Celebrating Eric's Mom is cancer-free this Thanksgiving.

128. My Mom's potato salad.

129. Playing with cousins.

130. An anniversary getaway with Eric.

131. Uninterrupted, nice dinner reminiscing about the past 15 years.

132. My husband.

133. My marriage.

134. Inlaws that are happy to watch the girls.

135. Children that genuinely love one another and have fun together.

136. God reminding me when I am blindsided by bad news, He is not. He goes before me and will sustain me. I just need to trust Him.

Don't forget to visit Ann Voskamp's blog. You will be blessed.

He Is On My Side

2011-11-24T21:59:00.000-05:00

I woke this morning and remembered it was Thanksgiving. Eric was already awake and in the kitchen. Before getting out of bed, I grabbed my Bible and turned to (my) traditional Thanksgiving passage.

Psalm 124.

"If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, now may Israel say;

If it had not been the LORD who was on our side, when men rose up against us:

Then they had swallowed us up quick, when their wrath was kindled against us:

Then the waters had overwhelmed us, the stream had gone over our soul:

Then the proud waters had gone over our soul.

Blessed be the LORD, who hath not given us as a prey to their teeth.

Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.

Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth."

"If it had not been the Lord ...." I lie there and think about those words ... something I've grown accustomed to doing every Thanksgiving. I'm sure I'm the only one that 'gets' what those words mean to me.

Without the Lord, I would surely be in a ditch somewhere or quite possibly not even be alive today. God saw fit to deliver me from a deep, sinful past and give me life abundant.

I love that He was (is) on my side.

Eric calls me to the kitchen.

The girls and I gather around the bar where he has his Bible open. I knew he was getting ready to share with us about Thanksgiving and prepare our hearts for the day.

Hmmm ... wonder what He's going to read? I glance at his Bible.

Psalm 124.

I smile. He understands. The passage means the same to him as well, though we've been delivered from very different things.

He reads the verses out loud and tries to lovingly explain it verse by verse to us.

Emma yawns.

Olivia seems to be looking past us ~ possibly looking for breakfast that will follow our devotion.

Both reactions cause a lump to form in my throat.

Not because they aren't being respectful. Because they are. They are listening. But maybe the words don't mean as much to little girls who are just 6 and 10 in age. Maybe they don't understand yet what it means for the Lord to be on your side and protect and deliver you from a world that tries to devour you daily.

Right now they are safe ... dependent on their parents.

I want to cry right then because I wonder what experiences they will have to face in their lives to make passages like this become real to them ...... a part of their story.

As Eric prays for 'Thanksgiving' and the day ahead, I pray for God to protect my girls. For Him to become real to them, but to do so with a gentle hand. I pray they see His goodness in ordinary things in their days. I remember, once again, that begins with me. I pray again that God would forgive me for my shortcomings, when I neglect His blessings and fail to acknowledge Him so they can see. I pray, again, that He will fill in the gaps when I fail to be the mother He wishes for me to be.

He reminds me He is on my side.

And theirs as well.

My Testimony (A Video)

2011-11-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

After contemplating it for months, I finally broke down and made a video of my testimony.

For the record, even the thought of me talking on a video makes me want to vomit. It just ranks way down on the list for me .... maybe even below 'eating worms'. :)

But, I was encouraged to do it and felt like God could somehow use it to reach someone for Him.

Atleast that's my prayer.

And, I never mind talking about the Lord and all He's done for me!

A few things ...

** It was the end of the day and I had shot the video (sounds official, doesn't it?) 4 times already. Each video was approximately 15 minutes long. I felt like I should trim it down, so this is the result of that. Speed talking :)

** 'End of day' means serious hair issues. Try to overlook.

** Before you comment, I am fully aware of my deep Southern accent. It's who I am.

** Any loud thumping you hear in the background is Olivia wanting to come into the kitchen but I wouldn't allow it. She was sick of hearing my testimony - ha!

** None of the above matters because the true message is I am forever changed by Jesus Christ. He has redeemed so much in my life. I want others to know the Joy that I have, so that's the reason for this ....

So, what's your testimony?

Have you accepted Christ as your Savior?

I would love to hear from you in the comments. (I'm allowing anonymous comments for this one)

Do you not have a testimony? Now is a great time to accept Jesus as your Savior! Leave me a comment or message me at deidrelail(AT)embarqmail(DOT)com. I would love to share with you this gift God has available to all who will accept!

Birthday Detox ~ Part Two

2011-11-22T08:48:00.000-05:00

The night before a birthday, we always decorate the birthday girl's place for breakfast. Olivia helped me this time :)

I dig out old baby pictures and we enjoy reminiscing the early years - ha!

Olivia got Emma the new J Bieber Christmas CD. We played it while eating breakfast, and I'll just say Lil' Drummer Boy will never be the same. He murdered it. (I'm being nice.)

On Emma's actual birthday, we met the grandparents out for dinner.

Then, the real party was on Saturday ..... at Skateland!

I have to document here what Emma pulled on this particular birthday. She wanted a class party more than anything, so Eric and I finally agreed. I ordered invitations and sent them out. I later started getting replies from people I hadn't invited. Replies saying they were coming.

After some prodding, I figured out that Emma had HANDWRITTEN some invitations to hand out as well.

I seriously thought I may need CPR.

We had 27 kids!

TWENTY-SEVEN!!

Emma's excuse was the ones she invited later were kids she wanted to witness to and she wanted them to be around her Christian friends.

I don't know. Is she playing me?

She was having so much fun skating with all her friends. My heart was happy, but I'll confess I was thinking "Soak it all in baby girl because you won't get this again FOR A LONG TIME!"

As in, possibly never.

Seriously, we had a really great time. I just kept reminding myself that TEN is a big deal :)

I won't post a lot of pictures here because most include her friends and I don't have permission, but I was once again so thankful for the friends she has. She truly has the sweetest class.

I will post this one so you can see Eric in the background ....

Because if his job doesn't work out, he can always go to work at Sonic :)

So, it was a birthday to remember. We're recovering this week :)

1,000 Gifts ~ #101 - #118

2011-11-21T02:31:00.011-05:00

101. Morning quiet time and a reminder from the Lord that He loves me.

102. Dropping Eric off at work and laughing so hard at something that happened over the weekend. I love to laugh.

103. A quiet day at home to clean and do laundry.

104. Changing my girls' sheets on their beds. They have the sweetest, most peaceful rooms. Blessings.

105. Reminding myself Eric is home all week and feeling such peace with knowing that.

106. Weekly cards from a friend .... always encouraging me.

107. Having a few peaceful hours to do nothing but read.

108. Baking with my girls.

109. Watching Emma get so excited over her birthday. Birthdays are a BIG DEAL around here.

110. Sweet anniversary roses from Eric.

111. Spending an hour at the doctor talking about the Lord. Blew my mind.

112. Dinner with family and friends.

113. Being around all of Emma's sweet friends/classmates at her birthday party. We are so blessed!

114. Two friends stopping to pray with me and over me this week. I have been under an odd, but very real, spiritual attack. Those prayers were (are!) so important to me.

115. Hearing Emma's conviction over a sermon. She has the sweetest heart and has a deep desire to see her lost friends come to know the Lord.

116. Listening to my girls talk about the Lord in the back of the van. Blessed my heart.

117. Olivia hugging me and telling me "I love you" just because.

118. Finding this note from Emma on my bathroom mirror ...

.... and knowing she wants to get up 15 minutes earlier so she can have her own devotion time with the Lord. Seriously, the Lord blessed me abundantly with this child!

I am keenly aware of God's grace each and every day!

Birthday Detox (Part One)

2011-11-19T20:02:00.002-05:00

I am positive we have never spent this many days celebrating a birthday. It wasn't at all planned but worked out that way.

Back in January, I bought tickets to take Emma and a friend to a T*ylor Swift concert .... in July. But, T*ylor got bronchitis and had to cancel her show. Which was then postponed for November 16 (our anniversary and 2 days before Emma's birthday). Ha!

I would have gladly used that as an excuse to let the concert be her birthday gift, but she had a very convincing argument that it was never meant to be for her birthday. SO .... we've been in overdrive since Wednesday.

So, first up .... the concert.

I picked up Emma and her friend, Regan from school and we rushed home to get ready.

They had my friend, Rita, to do their hair :)

After stopping to eat at Olive Garden, we made it to the concert.

The girls were so excited. Rita and I were too.

The concert was sponsored by C*ver Girl, so there were people handing out free samples of lipstick. The girls put that on immediately :)

Going to find our seats ...

We found them! And, Emma couldn't stop squealing with excitement!

I was a little nervous about taking Emma to this concert. She's only been to a one other (Christian) concert before, so I wasn't sure what to expect for her.

But, I will say, it was GREAT!

(Lights out ... Taylor has just come on stage!)

I think T*ylor changed outfits every other song as well as the entire stage. It was like watching a broadway play.

She sang for over 2 hours!

The girls in front of us kept getting confused and telling us they loved us :) Awkward. haha

Then, ofcourse, Taylor had to fly out over the crowd. Emma swore she waved right at her ;)

There was a girl behind us that would NOT stop screaming. I really have no words to describe it. Screaming. Non stop.

I seriously thought me and my migraine would have to head to the hospital. Afterwards, she said "my voice is almost gone".

Seriously? No. Imagine that.

Drove me nuts.

Other than that, it was a perfect night. I was so glad to do that with Emma. She will never forget it.

!My Mom took me and 2 of my friends to a concert on my 11th birthday ... Olivia Newton John. Classic ;) I still remember so much about it. It was the "Let's Get Physical" craze. Ha! (And, no my daughter is not named after her though I am a fan. A big fan. :)

It was a long night for a school night, but really worth it.

More birthday news to come .....

Double Digits

2011-11-18T02:04:00.004-05:00

I'm not going to say all the normal cliches like "I can't believe you're TEN already" or "It was just yesterday, I was rocking you and laying you down in your crib".

The truth is, I can believe you're ten. Mainly because you've reminded us of it daily for months now. You couldn't wait to be double digits.

I'll just say instead that you are my most favorite ten year old!

You are funny ...

Quirky ....

A deep thinker ...

Adventurous ...

A fabulous big sister ...

A treasure for a daughter ...

As well as a compassionate, sensitive, intelligent, hard-working, God-chasing, baby-loving, strong young lady.

Beautiful ~ inside and out!

Yes, you are growing up. But, in my eyes, you are still my sweet, little girl ...

Happy TENTH Birthday to my precious daughter! Your Daddy and I are so thankful God chose us to be your parents. You bring us unspeakable JOY every day of your life! We love you!

Our scripture verse and prayer for you this year (and always!) ...

"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy

and empty deception, according to the tradition of men,

according to the elementary principles of the world,

rather than according to Christ."

Colossians 2:8 NASB

Fifteen

2011-11-16T02:07:00.008-05:00

Today, Eric and I have been married fifteen years.

I can honestly look him in the eyes and tell him they have been the best fifteen years of my entire life. I truly mean that.

I knew on this night (our first date after I met him a year before) that I could marry him ....

I used to say I can't believe God thought enough of me to give me Eric.

I don't say that anymore. I believe it now.

Because God is good and gracious.

Happy Anniversary, Honey! I love you! I hope for many, many more.

Rejoice Anyway

2011-11-15T09:38:00.001-05:00

"This is the Day the Lord has made, let us Rejoice and be Glad in it!!"

This is what my Olivia was singing as we pulled into school this morning.

I so wish I had her JOY all the time.

I didn't really feel like rejoicing (migraine!) but when she blurted out "What should we praise God for, Mama?", I had to give her a few reasons.

What I'm learning is that it's easy to praise God when we're happy and feeling good. It's when we're feeling rotten or defeated that is gets tough.

But, maybe that's when it's most necessary ???

Tonight is our final night of Bible Study. I'm going to miss this group. Never before have I seen so many women that started the study actually finish. The committments have been solid and surely God is so pleased.

When any Bible Study finishes, I give myself permission to read. Read all the books I have stacking up on my nightstand. There are a few I can't wait to dive into.

I plan to finish up Kisses From Katie tomorrow. Have you read this book? If not, you should. It's a wonderful (true) story.

Take a look at the video to see what it's all about.

Goodness, I need to do a better job! Makes me feel horrible for complaining about anything!

Happy Tuesday!

From Gloomy to Happy

2011-11-14T17:42:00.001-05:00

The wind was strong here today.

Some days you don't need a reason to feel gloomy. Yet, a gloomy day it was. I couldn't really put my finger on one reason other than I haven't felt that great.

So, I blamed it on the wind.

I know with these high winds, all the beautiful leaves are going to fly off the trees and we'll be left with barren limbs. That makes me sad.

Dramatic, huh?

I know.

When my girls got home, my mood shifted.

They are cooped up in their classrooms all day and have to be quiet. As soon as they get in the van, they are a burst of energy and talk my head off.

I turned my gloomy attitude about the weather into "It's a beautiful day to play outside girls!"

They agreed.

After homework, I thought they were rushing to go out. I heard them laughing hysterically.

I didn't find them jumping in leaves.

Leaves are overrated.

They were having the best time jumping in the middle of my dirty laundry.

Weird girls.

I guess the days I change sheets around here will be a new favorite ??

They did turn my mood around, though.

Olivia finally got dressed to go outside.

It's tough to be in a gloomy mood around Olivia. She doesn't tolerate it!

Emma doesn't either. They're happy 99% of the time.

And they are forever doing things to make me smile.

I found a note from Emma on our dot-to-dot game (Yo Mama!)

(We keep a dot-to-dot or tic tac toe game going in their lunchboxes. I make my move while I'm packing lunches and they make their move while at lunch.)

I also found this sweet, sweet note from Olivia to her Daddy ...

Dear Daddy. Remember these rules. Say I love you, be kind, share, be respectful, serve others, keep your promises, love Jesus, say please and thank you, always tell the truth, forgive others, pray always, be grateful. Love. Be safe.

ha! She copied this from a sign I have hanging in my kitchen, but I love that she gave it to her Daddy and added 'be safe' at the end.

It's a fact - my mood is much better when I'm around my girls.

1,000 Gifts ~ #76 - #100

2011-11-14T02:50:00.000-05:00

"Only the grateful are paying attention" ~ Ann Voskamp

How I paid attention this week ~

76. Two sleepy-eyed girls making their way downstairs for breakfast.

77. Laughing hysterically with my little brother before we ran Monday morning. I love to see him laugh. And we couldn't stop.

78. Fall leaves.

79. Walking into a warm house.

80. Watching my girls work together addressing Emma's birthday invitations.

81. Calls from Eric while he's away. We need to hear from him every night before we can all rest. Well, atleast so I can rest.

82. Random text messages from friends reminding me they are praying for me. That never gets old.

83. Watching Olivia sleep peacefully with her blankey always close to her face :)

84. My Bible Study group. I have enjoyed this group maybe more than any other. We have learned some tough things, but almost the entire group has stayed committed each week and are finishing strong.

85. Substituting in Emma's classroom and appreciating (a little more) her gentle Spirit. She is a gift. A unique, grace-filled gift.

86. Walking down the hall at girls' school and seeing a teacher bowed in prayer with a student. Something I never get used to, but am always thankful to witness.

87. Eric coming home safely from a trip and having the FOUR of us around the dinner table Thursday night.

88. Olivia saying in a stern voice that she is going to put our names on her dry erase board if we're bad - yet, she winks at me and whispers "Don't worry, Mama, I won't ever put your name on here" :)

89. Decorating Friday night for our Women's Breakfast that was on Saturday and having women there to help.

90. Meeting women at our Thankful Breakfast that I never have before (yet, we go to church together).

91. Hearing a friend's testimony.

92. Hearing how God heals the brokenhearted and extends mercy and grace to all of us.

93. Hearing women call out all over the room reasons they are thankful.

94. In the midst of all those adult women voices, I kept hearing Emma's over and over calling out things she is thankful for like "God giving me opportunities to witness" and "God saving me".

95. Seeing Olivia jump up and down in excitement because her Daddy surprised her by taking her to get a manicure and pedicure.

96. Emma excited to serve with the rest of the women.

97. An afternoon nap.

98. Hot tea and breakfast in bed.

99. Relief from a week-long migraine.

100. God's attention to every detail of my life. He cares about what I care about.

More to come ...

Five on Friday

2011-11-11T10:51:00.000-05:00

I'm stealing Carpool Queen's Friday idea. Seems like a good way to share my somewhat useless information today.

1. My girls are out of school today. I thought we would spend the day in our pajamas doing absolutely nothing. Turns out, they want to actually do something so we'll start (and maybe end) by meeting Eric for lunch. Then, I will do my dead-level best to convince them that home is the place to be today.

2. I mainly want to be home just so I can curl up on the sofa and read. I started reading Kisses from Katie yesterday (thank you, Amanda) and canNOT hardly bear to put it down. I even dreamed about it last night and woke up telling Eric and the girls about it.

3. Our Women's Ministry is having a 'Thankful Breakfast' tomorrow. I always freak out about having enough food. Always. I should never be allowed to know how many are coming or how much food we'll need. Because I start to twitch. I can't take it.

But, I am baking Cinnamon Bread for any brave woman willing to try it :)

4. I've been hanging on every post from the Compassion Bloggers currently in Equador.

They are riding in a canoe in the Amazon today. Can you imagine? Click on the link above and then on each blogger to read their posts. By the way, do you sponsor a child from Compassion? It takes so little sacrifice from us to give a child in a third world country SO MUCH.

We sponsor two children - one of which has the exact same birthday as Emma (we specifically looked for that - you can search for a specific country or age). We've sponsored our children for 4 years. We receive monthly letters and my girls write letters to them. I highly recommend you do this small thing for your family and for a child in need. It's a great lesson for our family as well.

5. Olivia just came downstairs dressed in Emma's Cleopatra dress. (She said Cleopatra is not suppose to smile. Ever.)

She just told me she's wearing it to meet her Daddy for lunch. Please no, Lord. I know she's serious.

Have a great weekend, Everybody! :)

Thankful Tree

2011-11-11T02:22:00.001-05:00

We've always celebrated the Thanksgiving season with some sort of visual reminder like paper chains, journals, etc. I'll post more about those things later.

This year I wanted to do something different. For new ideas, there's really no better place to look than Pinterest.

(Also, if I make half of the stuff I have 'pinned' on my Pinterest boards, I will be busy for years. There's so much cute stuff!)

Anyway, I began searching for other ways to show our 'Thankfulness' and saw this tree ...

Source: honeywerehome.blogspot.com via Deidre on Pinterest.

Love.

Easy enough, right?

We gathered our branches.

Added them to a mason jar (I got this jar and wire holder at the woolly worm festival last month. It came with a vase frog, but I didn't need it with the sturdy branches).

Punched out our circles from several different colors of scrapbook paper (the girls' favorite part).

And spent some time writing down what we're thankful for.

My girls are deep thinkers and I just loved reading what they were thankful for on each one.

A few of Olivia's that are my favorites ...

It's important to include CANDY and Chocolate. Chocolate was one of mine, too.

Oh, and on the one that says 'My Savior' .... that's a picture of Jesus flying down to save Olivia. ha!

Some of my favorites of Emma's ...

Her Citizenship in America and Chairs & Couches are equally important :)

I love seeing what they come up with!

We're adding to it everyday.

I'm very happy with how it turned out and love seeing it on my kitchen table.

Not So Gourmet, But DELICIOUS Strawberry Cake

2011-11-10T17:50:00.004-05:00

I know I have seen this tip on someone's blog, but I can't for the life of me remember whose it was. If it was you, let me know and I'll link to you. Also, thank you! ~ yummy!

I've been baking so many cinnamon and pumpkin recipes lately (all good!) so I wanted to make something different this week.

I am one of those people that has to have something in my cake plate at all times. I don't know what it is, but if the cakeplate is empty, my house doesn't feel quite as homey. In fact, when we come home from vacation, I head straight to the kitchen to bake something ~ often before I unpack the van or our bags!

I know. I'm odd.

And also addicted to sugar :)

Today, I wanted something strawberry.

This is the simplest recipe ever .... it includes a cake mix :) (Hey, I never professed to be a gourmet baker)

But, the trick is to add a small box of french vanilla pudding. Not vanilla ~ french vanilla.

You just add it to whatever flavor cake mix you want and follow the instructions on the box.

You will not believe how moist this cake is!

To add to the sweetness, I topped it with cream cheese icing :)

Eric and the girls were so excited. I was too.

It is YUMMY!

Out of Zion's Hill, Salvation Comes

2011-11-10T10:42:00.004-05:00

Spending the day with 4th graders wasn't nearly as frightening as I thought it would be.

I actually had a great day.

I was fortunate to be filling in on Chapel Day. What a great way to start the day.

I loved the message and how it goes with the lesson I'm teaching this Sunday.

We closed with this song and it may be my new favorite (though I've heard it for years - it's an old song!).

The kids were crazy, excited over singing this. I thought the roof may come down :) At "Out of Zion's hill Salvation Comes .." the kids (and adults) were LOUD! Sweet, sweet worship time.

I was sitting with Emma, but I could see Olivia with her friends in front of me. They were jumping up and down, singing to the top of their lungs and high-fiving each other during the chorus. :) Love it!

How could I have a bad day after that?

I couldn't!

(Go ahead and watch the video. You won't be able to keep from singing along!)

The kids were so sweet and good. I did hear "Mrs. Lail" no less than 356 times, but I didn't mind.

Another great part was being able to have a private lunch with my girls in my classroom.

Sweet!

They loved it simply because they didn't have to be quiet ... and they got to draw on the board.

Emma was writing a sweet note to the boys telling them to behave :)

I know I worked at our girls' school the past 2 years, but just spending yesterday there made me appreciate it even more. It's such a peaceful place. Even the English I taught was diagraming sentences about the Lord.

(Emma looking up a word in the dictionary)

That makes me happy!

I even got a sweet note from a boy in Emma's class ...

Haha - it's always about the hair, right? I laughed out loud at this. He was so proud of it :)

I Feel a Celebration Coming On!

2011-11-09T02:26:00.002-05:00

I'm subbing in Emma's class all day today.

I may be a tad scared.

I'm well aware how crucial a teacher's notes are to a substitute. Last time I filled in, Emma was amazed I was so knowledgeable about Renaissance History. I couldn't bring myself to tell her I was reading straight from the teacher's notes.

I probably won't tell her today either.

It's important for her think her Mama is S.M.A.R.T. :)

We are in countdown mode around here. In one week, a cELeBrAtioN begins ...

This celebration will last at least four days.

Because someone in our home is turning DOUBLE DIGITS!

So busy birthday elves have lots to do.

Like addressing invitations.

And, waiting on our hair to dry :)

As it turns out, we have a maid's house ...

2011-11-08T03:27:00.002-05:00

The hardest thing about blogging is coming up with something to post. I always think that ... and then remember my blog is primarily about my family and how we spend our days. That usually clears everything up for me :)

So, our Monday ...

I dropped off the girls at school and went to meet my brother to run.

I was in a cranky mood. It was cold, my feelings were hurt and I had a million things to do. Such is Monday, right?

But, when JP walked to my car, he was so bewildered. He could not for the life of him figure out why the clock in his car was an hour later than his cell phone.

I'm not kidding.

I just kept staring at him, expecting him to work it all out in his own mind, but that moment just never came. He absolutely could not figure it out.

Which is a tell-tale sign of how much he hibernated over the weekend.

I said "Umm ... you do know the time changed over the weekend, right?"

He stared at me like I was new.

"No it didn't. That can't be right."

And, seriously ... it took me way too long to convince him I was right. He just knew something was wrong with his battery.

I don't know why but the two of us got so cracked up over that we couldn't stop laughing.

The simplest thing totally threw him for a loop.

Still cracks me up to think about the look on his face.

I sure did need that laugh!!

My run was good for my mood, too. Just take a peek at what it looks like where we run ...

Beautiful.

I came home to shower, work on some things for this weekend and start dinner (if I don't start it early, it won't get done).

I picked the girls up from school and we headed straight for the library.

We love the library!!

(I love that picture of Emma)

We probably stayed too long, but I didn't want to go home.

Once we made it home, we went into the woods behind our house to gather branches for the thankful tree we're making.

(I'll post pictures of the tree soon, but right now it looks like a small, dwarfed bush.

Olivia and Emma took some pictures while we were out there.

Olivia's favorite ...

Maybe one day I'll share what my neighbor has been working so hard on in our woods. We may be at a new level of crazy.

Anyway, we played in the woods awhile .....

Then I saw the new sign on the girls' swingset ...

The maid's house.

So, I guess I move my things out here?

**********************************************************

One more thing, I've received many emails in the past few months asking me various questions. I think I'll just post the answers here in the next few days since many of you want to know the same things. So, just know I'm not ignoring you.

1,000 Gifts ~ #61 - #75

2011-11-07T03:13:00.001-05:00

My week of noticing God's gifts of grace ...

61. Spending a day in the mountains with my girls.

62. Our trip to the mountains spurred many conversations about 'facing our fears' .... doing something unexpected and out of the ordinary. My prayer is to not transfer my fears to my girls.

63. Seeing/hearing them laugh.

64. Time with my family on Halloween night.

65. A good lesson with my 8th grade girls' small group. This time is a challenge for me. However, this week, God opened my eyes to some things.

66. This note from Emma ...... left on my night stand.

67. My friends.

68. Seeing Eric and the girls off to school Wednesday morning. Olivia ran back to the door and said "Just in case you're thinking your hair doesn't look good, I think you're beautiful". ha! (I had my hair cut the day before.)

69. Lunch with friends Thursday and Friday. A treat.

70. A few more warm afternoons to play outside.

71. Spending the afternoon with Eric and the girls. We ended the night with a last minute decision to go bowling. Fun!

72. My chiropractor.

Seems frivilous to mention but with a week-long migraine, I was beyond thankful for this place.

73. Olivia draws us pictures every single day on her easel. She drew a sweet portrait of me.

I know, please don't mention my arms :)
74. My father-in-law. Sunday was his birthday. His life is a big testimony to who Eric is, so I'm beyond thankful for him.

75. My church. Such a grace-filled place.

More to come ...

Sunday Letters

2011-11-06T08:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Emma,

We have made some progress this week. I will forever say you are one of the most compassionate, forgiving people I know. And while those are good traits to have, we want so much for you to take up for yourself.

Which brings me to our neighbors. Since the day we moved here, you have made it your life's mission to tell them about Christ. You are relentless about it. Your Dad and I cringe a little because you do not let up and well, I don't think we would be that bold (just being honest). Also, they are not very receptive. In fact, one neighbor makes fun of you every time. You're strong in front of him, then come inside and cry. But, then the next time, you're right back at it.

I have always said you teach me every day and this may be the biggest way. You have an amazing heart.

But, I think you had enough this week.

After listening to ridicule and name callling all afternoon, you finally ran him out of the yard and told him he wasn't welcome here. I think he was shocked. We all were :) You just couldn't take it any longer.

I didn't know you had it in you.

But, in true Emma fashion, the next day you asked if you could ask them over to play.

I'll just say I'm not so compassionate and forgiving. I'm going to need a few days :)

Dear Olivia,

It's so hard for me to narrow down ALL you do and say in a week's time and write about it in one weekly letter. The bottom line is you.are.hilarious.

You don't try to be and are annoyed if we laugh at you, but seriously, the things that come out of your mouth catch me so off guard.

I love it.

You have been so frustrated this week. When you get in the car every afternoon, you tell me I need to call your teacher. There is a little boy in your class that follows you around and whispers in your ear "Do you love me, Olivia?"

I try to give you different ways to handle it each day. You still get in the van frustrated. When I told you that I can totally understand why he likes you so much, you said, "Mom, ofcourse every boy is in love with me. But I don't want to hear about it all day long. I just want to play".

It's tough to be loved - haha

My Wednesday

2011-11-03T09:29:00.002-04:00

Clever title, huh?

It's all I got.

Thank you for all the emails, texts and calls yesterday. I appreciate your prayers so much, but know that I am fine. Seriously, I had an unexplainable, happy spirit. I was not at all sad. When I would even think of letting my mind go back to how I felt the day my friend passed away, I would ask myself "Would you want her back .... alive in this world?"

The answer is no!

Pam lived her entire life longing for heaven. I don't know how to properly explain that, but she did. A normal conversation with her would include her saying, "Can you just imagine what is waiting on us?" or "I can just picture Jesus ... (insert whatever she was feeling at the time)"

It just seems natural that she's there.

Don't get me wrong, I miss her. Really, really miss her. But, God always shows me she is the winner in this situation and everything is as it should be.

So, let's see ..... what did I do yesterday?

I started off the morning by meeting John Patrick (my little brother .... do you know that by now?) to run. He wanted to run our loop (as we call it) through town and I admit, I was a little intimidated. I don't know why that is. I can run longer distances than that loop, almost effortlessly, but when we run this particular route, I freak a bit. Running is such a huge mental test for me.

And, it was COLD. As in 37 degrees. I think I was afraid I wouldn't be able to breathe ... and you know, die.

I told John Patrick all this before we started and maybe even yelled at him that we were going to go slow ... pace ourselves.

I told him, too that I had eaten somewhere in the neighborhood of 47 (fun size!) Snicker bars since Monday and it would no doubt effect my speed.

I don't think he cared.

The reason I know that is because he kept up a small distance ahead of me the entire time, but would stop to turn a cartwheel or do a round off on top of a cement wall. Then, turn around, wave and run back to where I was .... only to do it again.

Show off.

Somehow I don't think I'm the one that looked like a freak.

Anyway, I ran the whole loop and was happy I didn't collapse. I swore off Snickers (atleast for the rest of the day) and headed straight to Target for some more warm running gear. A hat this time because my ears were burning after we ran.

I'm hoping I can run outside this winter, but that indoor track is looking more and more inviting.

I wish I had a clever transition here but I can't think of anything. I just need an excuse to post Reformation Day pictures that I totally forgot about posting.

Emma was Abraham ....

Her goal was to stay in character all day long. Before she got out of the van that morning, she asked me to pray her back didn't break - ha! :)

Olivia was Sarah. Though she didn't want anyone to know she was Sarah. It was a secret ??

Truthfully, it's the same costume she wears every year. We just keep changing the character.

Because I'm creative like that.

Anniversaries

2011-11-02T02:23:00.004-04:00

Anniversaries are a time to remember.

Anniversaries of my children's births help me to remember the joy I had meeting them for the first time.

My wedding anniversary makes me remember the look on Eric's face the moment the doors opened and I saw him smiling at me from the other end of the church aisle.

But anniversaries that mark the death of a friend are different. It forces you to remember where you were, what you were feeling and what you went through as a result.

If you're really fortunate, you won't internalize that feeling too much, going back to the dark place you visited when it all happened.

I think of her in the Fall. She used to make fun of me for loving Fall since her favorite season was the Spring. She always said I love things when they die and she loves them when they're made new.

So, I think of her in the Spring.

I think of her when I read certain Scriptures knowing they were her favorite.

I think of her every week when Bible Study ends.

I think of her when I see the color pink.

Honestly, I think of her often.

And, the memories don't hurt so much. I still would much rather have her here, but I believe she wouldn't wish the same. We would disagree on that just like we did our favorite seasons.

She is in a beautiful place.

My head and heart just can't fathom this morning what she's seeing and experiencing. As I remember her this morning, I yearn for that place a little more than yesterday.

This 2nd anniversary of my best friend's death, I choose to remember God and His grace. How He had to reach way down for me ... grabbing both hands and gently pull me back up.

A funny thing happened, though, when I made it to the top of that pit. I was different. Better.

Because I had been with God in a way I never had before. He was sweeter to me. More gracious than before. More patient.

And, I ~~think~~ know she would love that.

I miss you, Pam ... as much today as I did two years ago.

A Fun, Full Halloween

2011-11-01T08:55:00.002-04:00

The girls were out of school yesterday. Teacher workday. We love those!!

I did something I've never done before .... I took them (by myself) to Blowing Rock.

The idea was to do a little shopping, visit our favorite book store and go to the park.

The shopping wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it would be because my girls kept asking "When are we going to the park? How much longer until we get to the park?"

And that was just in the first 30 minutes.

I didn't have Eric there as a buffer so I couldn't concentrate.

Before long, we were at the park :)

And it was COLD!!!

I don't think I have ever been to that park when there wasn't a gazillion people there.

We were the only ones!

We played for a long time.

Though Olivia would tell you we weren't there long at all.

Is it ever enough?

I eventually told them there was a reason we were the only ones there .... because it was so darn cold!

I'm sure the real reason was because kids were in school, but I didn't tell them that.

We made our way back to the van and thawed out while drinking hot chocolate.

I hated to leave. I mean really hated to leave. I love, love, love it there!

But, we had to get back for trick-or-treating.

Cleopatra and Snow White showed up around 6:00.

A few minutes later, my nieces came in.

Eric and my brother, Todd, took the girls trick-or-treating while my parents, John Patrick and I stayed in to hand out candy and play Bananagrams.

Then this happened ......

My Mom, JP and I were sitting in the living room and I saw my motion light come on in the back yard. I thought it was odd since I haven't seen it come on in over a year. A few minutes later the doorbell rang.

JP went to the door and there was no one there.

Not cool.

We waited a few minutes and then heard it ring again. I went to the door and no one was there. Then, I saw the bushes move beside my front door.

I knew immediatly who it was.

I just kept saying, "Who could it be? Who could it be?"

All while filling a gallon pitcher of water.

When the doorbell rang again ... I jumped out and poured the gallon of water all over the prankster.

My Daddy.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

That's him drying himself off.

I can't stop laughing!

Best part of the night.

Hilarious!

We had a fun, full day :)

1,000 Gifts ~ #31 - #60

2011-10-31T02:37:00.001-04:00

My week of noticing God's gifts of grace ...

31. Eric going to bed super early because he had an early flight to catch Tuesday morning. The blessing comes in when he got out of bed because he remembered he needed to read/pray scripture over me. I am so blessed by this. I just lean back, close my eyes and listen to the sweet words. I feel like I could sleep like a baby as well as run a marathon after he does this. God's Word is so powerful!

32. Blueberry cobbler. Watching my girls eating it and hearing things like "You're the best cook in the whole wide world, Mommy!' (Olivia) and "I don't think I've ever tasted anything so delicious" (Emma). I'm sure they won't always feel this way, but I'll take it while I can get it.

33. Yet another surprise gift from my Secret Encourager. The florist delivered these on a Tuesday.

Which is an important day for me as I teach small group to 8th grade girls (a challenge) and prepare for Bible Study on Tuesday nights. Perfect timing! The card has one of my favorite scriptures written on it .... Psalm 5:3. I'm telling you, my Secret Encourager must read my blog :)

34. Seeing Emma and Olivia at lunch on Tuesday and getting hugs from them.

35. Playing outside with my girls on a gorgeous Fall day.

36. Emma had Monk Day at school Wednesday ... as in, they took a vow of silence upon entering the classroom. She needed a monk costume and unfortunately, she wasn't graced with a Mom that can't sew. Where God did extend grace is when he made Eric my husband and Emma's Dad. We bought the fabric and he made her a costume put together by liquid stitch.

These pictures make me happy.

37. Running 5 miles Wednesday morning. I felt good and am always thankful I am able.

38. After running, heading straight to my parents' where my Daddy had breakfast ready. Yum.

39. Having Kari Jobe's You Are For Me on repeat for 4 days straight.

This is probably the most played song on my iPod. I'm forever searching scripture to remind me that yes, He is for me and always has my best interests at heart.

40. A visit from the insurance adjuster (because of this). He told me because of the nature of the 'accident', we didn't have to pay a deductible on either vehicle. I could have hugged his neck in our driveway. I refrained and decided to thank God for the gift instead.

41. Kisses from my girls as they get out of the van in the mornings.

42. My friend Rita spending the night to 'protect' me.

43. Listening to a sermon on my iPod while I ran Thursday morning and feeling like I could shout. I did laugh and raise my hands on a busy college campus which I'm sure scared the people around me. I didn't care. Sermon was all about grace. Praise-worthy.

44. Surprising my girls by taking them lunch to school Thursday.

45. Emma reminding me that Eric doesn't have anymore trips planned for the remainder of the year. Yes, Lord!!!!

46. Carving pumpkins.

47. A half-day of school Friday.

48. My girls wanting to go straight home on the half-day of school just so they could play all afternoon.

49. Olivia's friends.

50. Emma complaining about her neighbors being mean to her. When I ask her 'why' she answers (like she always does) because she was talking about Jesus.

51. Olivia making me laugh. Seriously, every.single.day.

52. My friend, Cathy, going over and above for Olivia's Flat Stanley school project. Seriously. Stanley even visted the Mayor. Olivia was so proud. Cathy, you rock!

53. Lying on the sofa, under my favorite blanket with my family piled around me. Fire and candles going and watching a movie. Bliss.

54. Sweet quiet time with the Lord. Times that don't involve studying or preparing lessons, but the kind that involve fellowship ... an exchange between the two of us.

55. An email from a high school friend telling me she heard I was following Jesus and what good news that was to her. Perhaps that will always be the biggest reminder of God's grace to me. I am not what I once was!

56. Sunday afternoon lunch with friends.

57. Learning about the Beatitudes in Sunday School. I love my Sunday School class!

58. Seeing/hearing/watching my big brother preach Sunday night. I will never get over what seeing him preach stirs in me. All grace!

59. Taking the Lord's Supper Sunday night and remembering all Christ did for me.

60. Ending the weekend with my girls watching Charlie Brown and laughing hysterically. That always reminds me of my brother and me doing the same when we were little. Happy memories.

Bring an Offering

2011-10-29T19:07:00.003-04:00

After a particularly stressful day, I decide it's time to get ready for church.

I yell upstairs for the 6th or 7th time and tell the girls to hurry up. We're going to be late.

Olivia starts to whimper and just hearing it aggravates me.

I go upstairs to see what the hold up is and see her still in her play clothes.

She tells me she wants to dress fancy for church that night and I never let her dress fancy. (To my defense, I never knew she wished to dress fancy. Jeans and a shirt on Wednesday nights have never bothered her before.)

I choose a few outfits. She turns up her nose to all of them.

We settle on one. She then decides she doesn't like the shoes that will go with it.

I lose my patience and get out the original outfit (jeans and a shirt) and tell her she has 60 seconds to put them on and meet me at the door to go.

She does it but through tears.

Emma takes her time getting in the car because she can't find her play book and also, wants to find the perfect purse to take.

Count to ten.

We're finally on our way. I'm trying not to cry. This is the 5th Wednesday out of 6 that Eric is out of town and can't go with us. My cell phone rings. I see it's him and press 'ignore'. I know if I take the call, I'll say something to him about him traveling and sound resentful. He doesn't need to hear it. So, I spare both of us and turn the ringer off. Just in time to hear the girls fussing.

I give them what seems like the 100th lecture of the day about loving one another and speaking kindly.

Olivia picks up a book to read and accidentally (I think) pokes Emma in the eye.

Crying begins.

I look out the window and try to recall if I have a vacation coming up.

I do have one but remember I have to take everyone with me. At this particular moment, that's no comfort so I try to think about something else.

I pull into church with only a minute to get inside.

Olivia starts to get out of the van and spills her crayons all over the parking lot.

Are you kidding me?

I let it out ... "Olivia! We are going to be late!"

She carefully picks them up and puts each one back in the box. S l o w l y.

I'm irritated.

I get them to the Children's Ministry room and head upstairs to the Sanctuary. I sit on the pew, let out a long sigh and think it ... the thought I hate to admit to .... "Okay, I'm here. Hope this is worth it. What now, Lord?"

And, just like every other time, it is worth it.

His Word is spoken and just the sound of it is calming.

God is good. God is holy. God is a jealous God. God loves me.

But, then I'm ashamed. If I feel this motivated and refreshed after coming with such a poor attitude, how much more so would I receive if I walked in ready? Prepared?

You give me this ... this comfort ... this attention ... this word ... and what have I brought to you?

I sit down with a 'bless me if you can' attitude and you choose to speak to me anyway?

I'm amazed I heard anything at all. And, what's even more difficult to admit is that if I didn't, I would arrogantly blame it on church, the music or someone else.

I go home refreshed. I put the girls to bed and then hurry to find my Bible. I read it .... the passage I've been thinking about for days.

Psalm 96:8 ....

"Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name:

bring an offering, and come into his courts."

Bring an offering?

I think of the Levitical offerings in Scripture. Feeling pretty confident God isn't looking for a spotless lamb or goat (what a relief), I begin to wonder what He means.

What is my offering to Him when I come into His house? What is my offering when I enter into worship with Him? What offering from me, this modern day, will give glory to His name?

I think about it for a few weeks and ask God to speak to me ... make me aware of what He's trying to teach me.

What I learn first is that God wants my expectations.

My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O LORD;

in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

Psalm 5:3

When I give my expectations to Him, whether it be expectations with my marriage, my family and even my children and their behavior, He begins to work in every area. I find rest in taking my expectations to Him every day (sometimes every hour) and know He's receiving what I give Him with joy and attention.

He wants my prayers.

"And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where

they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the

Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness."

Acts 4:31

He wants to hear what is on my heart. He wants to hear that I am concerned for those around me. He wants to hear that I am expecting big things from Him. That my faith is active and I believe He will move.

I learn He wants my time.

Be still, and know that I am God:

Psalm 46:10 KJV

Cease striving and know that I am God

Psalm 46:10 NASB

Not just a quick study time, but sweet fellowship. He wants to hear from me and for me to be still and listen. This offering requires discipline but may be the most important one in my walk right now. I love that the NASB says to "Cease striving". I get into trouble when I try to make this or that happen and not let God be God.

I learn He wants my devotion.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

Whole-hearted devotion. The kind that surrenders everything including unforgiveness, bitterness, hurt and anger. He tells me these things are choking the life out of our relationship and it can't continue. I argue that I have none of these things and He reveals the deepest parts of me that are hanging on to those very things I tell others to let go of.

I learn He wants my fears.

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:

for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety."

Psalm 4:8

Whoa. Not sure I can give those up. He reminds me I'm not in control of any situation. He also reminds me I can trust Him with my heart, my family and my safety. I have no choice but to hand it over.

Something changes in my heart. I start to feel different. Maybe a little lighter.

I walk into church and feel an overwhelming gratitude to THE ONE I came to worship. I have poured out my heart to Him and yielded to His Spirit and my attitude is nothing but gratitude.

The music is more touching. The relationships are rich. The preaching is annointed.

And, I am thankful.

I want to offer Him every part of me. Not because I expect something in return. But because He will pour out a response anyway. Almost more than my fleshly body can bear.

He is Worthy!

Even when I'm not.

Apparently it was her first time ...

2011-10-28T08:52:00.000-04:00

Know what I realized last night?

I have never carved a pumpkin with Olivia.

I figured this out while I was cooking dinner last night and she was off-the-hook excited about carving pumpkins after we ate.
I first thought the excitement was from all the sugar.

She asked me repeatedly "When will dinner be ready? Are we going to eat dinner? How long will dinner take? Do we have to eat dinner?"

And, dinner?

It was really breakfast, y'all. But, really yummy ...

Pancakes ...

(We were cracking up at my teddy bear's mouth :)

Biscuits with homemade cinnamon honey butter ...

Not to be confused with homemade biscuits ... those were frozen, baby.

And, OFCOURSE we had livermush ...

With a side of bacon .... because we're healthy like that.

Then, the carving began ...

Most of Olivia's excitement was she could not wait to see the inside of a pumpkin. (Seriously, I've never done this with her before? I'm amazed by that.)

(Also, notice the cute guy in the picture? He had just walked in the door minutes before dinner. He has been in Los Angeles all week. We were SO happy to see him!)

Her face shows her curiosity about the inside ...

She wasn't that impressed with it.

Emma took it all very seriously.

We did have fun, though. Olivia was screaming (with joy!) when we lit the pumpkins up outside.

I still can't believe I've never carved a pumpkin with her before. What have I been doing?